Why would someone's weight be up for discussing ?

pigpen

Person_one wrote: »

There was a trailer for a film recently where a character introduced herself as 'Fat Amy' because if she called herself fat it saves the mean girls from doing it behind her back.

Is there a bit of that going on with some posters here maybe? If I loudly declare I am fat/slobby/scruffy/ugly then I can tell myself I'm not hurt by others doing it?

I knew I had a big nose (when I did!) it was undeniable. It still cut like a knife when people commented on it. We women all know how much of our value is decided by our looks, why make each other feel bad about them?

A friend I had many years ago called herself a dyke for that reason.. if you call yourself it then it is fine for others to do it.. For me, it isn't like that, I know who and what I am and most of the time I say 'yeah.. and?' or in a bored tone 'Gosh that's original!' but there are very few things anyone could say that would offend me... they would have to be important to me first of all and very few people are.

TopQuark

Interesting discussion that leads me to thinking about people commenting on skin colour. I'm extremely fair and have always been self-concious about appearing on beaches (doesn't help sitting next to OH, who is from the south of France and turns nut-brown after a day in the sun).

Numerous times in my life, complete strangers have approached me to comment on the colour of my skin, ranging from "you need to get a bit of colour love" to "I wouldn't be seen dead here if I was a pasty as you". This latter comment prompted me to ask the questioner if she was wearing any bikini bottoms or not as it was hard to tell with 3 spare tyres obscuring the view. Granted this was rude and she was offended, but she didn't seem to understand that what she had said to me in the first place was rude and offensive.

Years ago I went on holiday with friends and some of their friends. One of these people forbid me from appearing in her holiday snaps as she said that I was too pale and spoiled the photos! She was fat and ugly but I didn't stop her from being in mine!

TimBear

TopQuark wrote: »

Interesting discussion that leads me to thinking about people commenting on skin colour. I'm extremely fair and have always been self-concious about appearing on beaches (doesn't help sitting next to OH, who is from the south of France and turns nut-brown after a day in the sun).

Numerous times in my life, complete strangers have approached me to comment on the colour of my skin, ranging from "you need to get a bit of colour love" to "I wouldn't be seen dead here if I was a pasty as you". This latter comment prompted me to ask the questioner if she was wearing any bikini bottoms or not as it was hard to tell with 3 spare tyres obscuring the view. Granted this was rude and she was offended, but she didn't seem to understand that what she had said to me in the first place was rude and offensive.

Years ago I went on holiday with friends and some of their friends. One of these people forbid me from appearing in her holiday snaps as she said that I was too pale and spoiled the photos! She was fat and ugly but I didn't stop her from being in mine!

How rude!

I don't understand some people's double standards. Why is it ok to tell someone they're very skinny, but not ok to tell someone they're really fat? Why is it ok to say to someone that their skin is too pale, but if anyone made a comment about someone's skin being too dark there'd be a hoo-ha?

TimBear

I should have said above that I don't think it's ok either way to make such comments to people.

Joons

TopQuark wrote: »

"I wouldn't be seen dead here if I was a pasty as you". This latter comment prompted me to ask the questioner if she was wearing any bikini bottoms or not as it was hard to tell with 3 spare tyres obscuring the view.

Years ago I went on holiday with friends and some of their friends. One of these people forbid me from appearing in her holiday snaps as she said that I was too pale and spoiled the photos! She was fat and ugly but I didn't stop her from being in mine!

I love your reply re the bikini bottoms.

One thing about being pale is you will age better than those so called friends frying themselves on beaches, they'll be looking at you as an old lady and thinking, god I would kill for that porcelain skin!

Gloomendoom

TimBear wrote: »

How rude!

I don't understand some people's double standards. Why is it ok to tell someone they're very skinny, but not ok to tell someone they're really fat? Why is it ok to say to someone that their skin is too pale, but if anyone made a comment about someone's skin being too dark there'd be a hoo-ha?

I've been told that I am looking very fat as part of a greeting. It's regarded as a complement in some parts of the world. A sign that you are doing well.

I was a bit taken aback the first time it happened.

TopQuark

Joons wrote: »

One thing about being pale is you will age better

I wish that was true but sadly it's not. In fact, those with very fair skin will age worse than others unless they take precautions to protect themselves.

The only way I'll age better is if I stay out of the sun completely, which is not practical of course. Very light skin does not contain much of the pigment melanin, which absorbs UV radiation and thus 'protects' the surrounding tissues from damage. My skin has very little of this pigment and as such, the UV rays are directly absorbed by the tissues resulting in damage. Of course, you can help the situation but using high factor suncream, but having naturally pigmented skin is the best defence against the ageing effects of sunlight.

Fortunately I use SPF50 on my face every day and generally avoid sunbathing; hoping this will pay off in future!

TimBear

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I've been told that I am looking very fat as part of a greeting. It's regarded as a complement in some parts of the world. A sign that you are doing well.

I was a bit taken aback the first time it happened.

I would have been too!

Joons

TopQuark wrote: »

I wish that was true but sadly it's not. In fact, those with very fair skin will age worse than others unless they take precautions to protect themselves.

The only way I'll age better is if I stay out of the sun completely, which is not practical of course. Very light skin does not contain much of the pigment melanin, which absorbs UV radiation and thus 'protects' the surrounding tissues from damage. My skin has very little of this pigment and as such, the UV rays are directly absorbed by the tissues resulting in damage. Of course, you can help the situation but using high factor suncream, but having naturally pigmented skin is the best defence against the ageing effects of sunlight.

Fortunately I use SPF50 on my face every day and generally avoid sunbathing; hoping this will pay off in future!

But if you use factor 50 on your face, you will age better, most wrinkles are caused by sun damage. I too am pale, white Scottish and always protect my face, I am always complimented on my age/skin condition. You could always get a spray tan before going on holiday, that way, you look brown but without the harmful affects.

TopQuark

Joons wrote: »

You could always get a spray tan before going on holiday, that way, you look brown but without the harmful affects.

TBH I can't be bothered with the hassle of it and it looks terribly orange and unnatural on me! I'm just pale and proud these days! Currently I'm blue-white and I'll turn pink-white in summer. OH is currently yellow though and is complaining that he doesn't like it, so it seems we are never happy!!