Awkward situation with a friend

kelfen

The only response I'd send in this situation, is clear, concise and to the point...

'No'

thehappybutterfly

Why don't you 'credit score' her and text her:

"Thank you for your loan application. After careful consideration using my strict selection criteria, I regret to advise that I have declined your loan application for the following reasons......."

sharnad

Delet and ignore cheeky mare no contact then a begging letter

sexylulubelle

OP the fact that you are actually thinking about this in a logical way tells me you are a far nicer person than she will ever deserve, however she does not deserve u and i dont see what benefit it will be to you in the long run, there are many people that proclaim to be your friend but only when its convenient for them, based on that u have to make the decision whether you want to be bothered or not, I for one wouldnt be....... but thats entirely my personal opinion! Good luck tho, its never easy when it comes to friends especially close ones, take it from me you never know who your true friends are until the shittith, hittith the fan........... xxx

meritaten

I cant believe you are seriously considering lending/giving this woman money!
koala - you sound like a really lovely person - too lovely! honestly hun this may be a mass text (tho who keeps the no of someone they have fallen out with for two years?) or she is targeting you knowing that you have money put by?
either way - she ISNT a friend! friends are happy for your good fortune and commiserate on your bad. this woman was horrible to you at a time when she should have pasted a smile on her face and bought you balloons and cards!
oh, and this 'but women desperate to have babies cant bear to be around newborns and thier mums or pregnant women', so we MUST be more understanding....doesnt wash with me! So, by the same token Widows shouldnt be around married couples?
if someone gets so obsessed with having a baby they cant bear to be around pregnant women or someone who just gave birth - then they need professional help as that is NOT normal or acceptable! and to shout and scream at someone because you envy or are jealous of them? that is also in no way acceptable or normal!
I would have expected an apology the next day or even the next week - two years down the line and she wants you to fund the next round of IVF??????????? Totally out of order I think!

Nicki

Meritaten, I think you have exaggerated what some of us have tried to say.

No one thinks OP should hand over money, or that she deserved to be shouted at.

Some of us, me included, have tried to explain why it may have happened. Using your widow analogy, would it not be forgivable if a recently bereaved friend lost their temper and got upset with you complaining about the downsides of married life while still in the early throes of grieving their loss? I haven't been widowed but if a friend got upset with me moaning about my OH when she was recently bereaved, I'd find it in my heart to forgive her (and would probably make the first move to mend fences). Long term infertility is very similar to bereavement and brings up similar emotions

warehouse

Put it this way, even if she was your closest friend in the World, trustworthy, reliable, all the things friends are, then you would still be a complete idiot to lend her the money. Lending money to friends kills friendships, you don't need to read much of this forum to see that.

To even consider the thought, just for a microsecond, that you might actually do this is not only idiotic in the extreme but an act of pure madness.

Take £7000+ and simply throw it off a tall building, it will hurt a lot less long term.

koalamummy

I have read every reply and appreciate everybody taking the time to offer advice. My initial instinct was to tell her to get lost and I didn't care about her situation any more. like the majority of posters I found the message to be at best a bit presumptuous and cheeky.

The truth of the matter is that I do care though. Now that I have had time to calm down and process everything especially the input of the posters who have been in a similar situation I don't want to just walk away from somebody who is possibly at the most vulnerable and fragile point they will ever reach in their life.

I have no idea at all regarding what has gone on in her life over the last few years. But I am certain now that she contacted me as a result of total desperation. I have replied to her, not by text as I actually dislike text messaging intently. I called her, got no answer, so left a message telling her I had received her message and would love her to call me back any time and let me know how she is doing. A bit rubbish I know but I really didn't actually know what to say.

Jox

That sounds like a lovely, compassionate thing to do koalamummy xx

victory

And you saying you have no idea at all regarding what has gone on in her life is the most telling....

You are right, you have no idea because she ranted and raged and gave up on your friendship 2 years ago

You are now living off memories....

You care, she stopped, she got in touch for herself, for what she wants , it's not for you, not to get to know you again but what she can get from you.

No basis for friendship