Awkward situation with a friend

marmitepotato

Shame on her, OP. Big Kudos and hugs to you. Get over it now, delete/block her number on your phone, get on with your life, with your OH, and with your children.

You can put your hand on your heart and say 'I tried, she didn't.' You don't need her any more.

CH27

koalamummy wrote: »

Thankfully I received a call from my sister who was minding my children and was able to make my excuses and leave. The bit that worries me is that I got the impression that she believed she was being genuine and pleasant to me. Nonetheless I was looking for any means of escape from the point where her mum called. I was sitting across a table not across a room and heard every word. I was left with the horrible impression that I was going to be ambushed before the meal was over.

I was a complete coward and told her to call me later in the week.

So her mum was aware of what she was doing?:eek:

How manipulative.

victory

koalamummy wrote: »

Thankfully I received a call from my sister who was minding my children and was able to make my excuses and leave. The bit that worries me is that I got the impression that she believed she was being genuine and pleasant to me. Nonetheless I was looking for any means of escape from the point where her mum called. I was sitting across a table not across a room and heard every word. I was left with the horrible impression that I was going to be ambushed before the meal was over.

I was a complete coward and told her to call me later in the week.

Have I missed a phone call? Her mums one? What was said then?

Padstow

koalamummy wrote: »

Thankfully I received a call from my sister who was minding my children and was able to make my excuses and leave. The bit that worries me is that I got the impression that she believed she was being genuine and pleasant to me. Nonetheless I was looking for any means of escape from the point where her mum called. I was sitting across a table not across a room and heard every word. I was left with the horrible impression that I was going to be ambushed before the meal was over.

I was a complete coward and told her to call me later in the week.

NO O O O h No no no.

Padstow

*zippy* wrote: »

How did you leave it with her Koala?

It is shocking that anyone would think it is ok to ask for money and then treat you like that, whatever she has gone through there are no excuses. I am really sorry you have had such a horrible day x

Could have been worse *zippy* she could have been nice and walked away with the money too.
"Damn my mother and her phone call".

koalamummy

mrbrightside842 wrote: »

It's a shame as you sound like an awesome friend, a shame that she didn't realise that when it mattered. How much was she asking from you? Did she make it obvious during the meeting that was all she was there for (was it talked about)? If I were considering lending her the money, I'd have had to meet with her for a few months to see how the friendship would be. I think I'd even lead her to believe that I wouldn't lend her the money, to see if she did a runner or still wanted to be friends. But she couldn't even be friendly when supposedly desperate and asking for money - speaks volumes about her. Also, if she can't afford to save for it then if a baby came along then she wouldn't be able to pay it back. And if it failed, then she wouldn't be able to pay back and may even ask for more. It's not up to you to pay. I wonder if she'd asked many others?

Money seemed to be a central factor in our meeting. I picked where we were having lunch as meeting up was my suggestion, admittedly not the cheapest place in town but it is a particular favourite of mine.

Her first comment after saying hello was that she couldn't believe I had there as some people have far more worthwhile things to waste their money on. I should maybe have been a bit more sensitive in that respect but as I had invited her there I had always fully intended on paying.

She did most of the talking to be honest and went through everything she had told me last night in far greater detail. Lots of throwaway comments about how someone like me would never understand/wouldn't have a clue what is was like. Which is true I dont.

They have used up their NHS treatment allowance and exhausted every source of finance for private treatment, but have just had a bit of a breakthrough where they know what has caused the failures. I asked about this but got the response that it was something simple that had needlessly cost them the earth. Her belief is that this treatment episode will be different as they now know what to do to make it work.

They have received contributions from everybody they know except my OH and me and she was hoping that we could make up the shortfall so that they can have the treatment. She never actually said how much it is that they need though I did ask. The impression I got was that the others had gifted it rather than lent.

I however am no doubt whatsoever that I am a completely wasteful spendthrift as I heard it intimated so often

Padstow

koalamummy wrote: »

I wish I knew the answer to that one as it certainly caused me lots of pain for a time. Logically you would think that we would be equally disliked as we share the same children but for whatever reason he causes far less upset. I have no idea who she is in contact with these days except that she told me that she finds it almost impossible to go to her husbands family events as both his siblings have children now.

She did try to be nice, just didn't manage it too well.

I think this is taking it too far as there has to be a time of acceptance.
People left alone through bereavement or divorce seeing others in couples. The worst of course having lost a child and seeing those so joyful with one.
There comes a time when we have to accept our lot. it may also be that if she lost her bitterness and relaxed, she may conceive naturally, wouldn't be the first time it had happened.

koalamummy

Her mother called and asked if I had said yes yet, then when she received a negative response she actually stated that she was in town and could drop by at the restaurant if she was needed. Her mum is not a softly spoken lady by any means and iPhones are not the most private devices so I couldn't help but overhear although I had my head almost in my handbag loudly searching out my insulin pen and needles even though it had been in my hand from the call was answered.

I have never been so greatful to son for vomiting in totally inappropriate places as it gave me means for escape.

toerag33

Hi Koalamummy

I find this whole thread unbelievable sad. Much of it resonates with me. The spot on advice, observations, support from so many caring people to you is wonderful. The response tells you what a naturally good person you are. It gives us all hope.

I just want to echo what others have said - walk away. Please.

Thank-you for sharing such a painful private time.

purple.sarah

koalamummy wrote: »

Money seemed to be a central factor in our meeting. I picked where we were having lunch as meeting up was my suggestion, admittedly not the cheapest place in town but it is a particular favourite of mine.

Her first comment after saying hello was that she couldn't believe I had there as some people have far more worthwhile things to waste their money on. I should maybe have been a bit more sensitive in that respect but as I had invited her there I had always fully intended on paying.

She did most of the talking to be honest and went through everything she had told me last night in far greater detail. Lots of throwaway comments about how someone like me would never understand/wouldn't have a clue what is was like. Which is true I dont.

They have used up their NHS treatment allowance and exhausted every source of finance for private treatment, but have just had a bit of a breakthrough where they know what has caused the failures. I asked about this but got the response that it was something simple that had needlessly cost them the earth. Her belief is that this treatment episode will be different as they now know what to do to make it work.

They have received contributions from everybody they know except my OH and me and she was hoping that we could make up the shortfall so that they can have the treatment. She never actually said how much it is that they need though I did ask. The impression I got was that the others had gifted it rather than lent.

I however am no doubt whatsoever that I am a completely wasteful spendthrift as I heard it intimated so often

She has no right to comment on how you spend your money! You don't owe her anything.