Awkward situation with a friend

Desperado99

Her loss, Koalamummy.

You sound like such a good friend, and you went much further than I would have done with this. Hopefully a few years down the line she'll look back and realise what a fool she was to cast you aside.

*zippy*

How did you leave it with her Koala?

It is shocking that anyone would think it is ok to ask for money and then treat you like that, whatever she has gone through there are no excuses. I am really sorry you have had such a horrible day x

koalamummy

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

So she can't even be pleasant to you when asking for money?

How is it she manages to stay in contact with your OH online? Surely if she's so upset she must not be in contact with anyone who has kids; why single you out for the underlying rage? And why not your OH as well?

I wish I knew the answer to that one as it certainly caused me lots of pain for a time. Logically you would think that we would be equally disliked as we share the same children but for whatever reason he causes far less upset. I have no idea who she is in contact with these days except that she told me that she finds it almost impossible to go to her husbands family events as both his siblings have children now.

She did try to be nice, just didn't manage it too well.

victory

koalamummy wrote: »

I wish I knew the answer to that one as it certainly caused me lots of pain for a time. Logically you would think that we would be equally disliked as we share the same children but for whatever reason he causes far less upset. I have no idea who she is in contact with these days except that she told me that she finds it almost impossible to go to her husbands family events as both his siblings have children now.

She did try to be nice, just didn't manage it too well.

She could do with some therapy , CBT so she can manage her behaviour/ emotions/ feelings, this is her trying to put it on others, she needs CBT

Padstow

Don't feel that you weren't savvy or anything KM, sometimes we are too close to a situation to see it clearly. You know the saying, Can't see the wood for the trees? Try standing close to an Oak tree and you can't see the bigger picture.

I feel I can speak for all here who are glad you turned to the forum for advice, can't be easy with your husband being away. He also has more on his mind than this.

You sound like a lovely young woman and anyone who counts you as their friend should feel very lucky.
I noticed as well that in spite of your stress over this matter, you still took the time to thank every poster.

Relax now and enjoy your family and friends.

shop-to-drop

She really does need to deal with her issues before having a baby. She sounds like she would be a terrible mother at the moment.

Padstow

koalamummy wrote: »

Saddest thing is even now knowing what I do about her feelings I would still probably contribute a reasonable amount if I didn't actually feel under such constant personal attack.

Please remember KM, it is not your money to donate, it is your family's money.

koalamummy

*zippy* wrote: »

How did you leave it with her Koala?

It is shocking that anyone would think it is ok to ask for money and then treat you like that, whatever she has gone through there are no excuses. I am really sorry you have had such a horrible day x

Thankfully I received a call from my sister who was minding my children and was able to make my excuses and leave. The bit that worries me is that I got the impression that she believed she was being genuine and pleasant to me. Nonetheless I was looking for any means of escape from the point where her mum called. I was sitting across a table not across a room and heard every word. I was left with the horrible impression that I was going to be ambushed before the meal was over.

I was a complete coward and told her to call me later in the week.

mrbrightside842

It's a shame as you sound like an awesome friend, a shame that she didn't realise that when it mattered. How much was she asking from you? Did she make it obvious during the meeting that was all she was there for (was it talked about)? If I were considering lending her the money, I'd have had to meet with her for a few months to see how the friendship would be. I think I'd even lead her to believe that I wouldn't lend her the money, to see if she did a runner or still wanted to be friends. But she couldn't even be friendly when supposedly desperate and asking for money - speaks volumes about her. Also, if she can't afford to save for it then if a baby came along then she wouldn't be able to pay it back. And if it failed, then she wouldn't be able to pay back and may even ask for more. It's not up to you to pay. I wonder if she'd asked many others?

Jox

What did she say to her mum?