Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

poet123

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't imagine skintchick would have any problems doing one session a term with the creche! That's only a token appearance, not helping to run the group.

I know from school clubs and the other groups I've been involved with that most parents want their children to have the benefit of the groups but rapidly exit when asked whether they will help. In any community, it's always the same small group of people who step up when there's a need.

Unless I am mistaken I thought that was exactly what was now being asked. The OP used to help run it but Donna wants to re organise it so that everyone takes a turn on the rota. She is probably doing this because currently she is running it and from what the OP has said is due to give birth in summer.

The question about actual hours required to be on the rota was asked further up the thread but not answered.

guruchelles

poet123 wrote: »

Unless I am mistaken I thought that was exactly what was now being asked. The OP used to help run it but Donna wants to re organise it so that everyone takes a turn on the rota. She is probably doing this because currently she is running it and from what the OP has said is due to give birth in summer.

The question about actual hours required to be on the rota was asked further up the thread but not answered.

That's how I read it. I don't envy Donna. Making a rota for something is a lot harder than it sounds, and now she may well have to contend with other parents questioning why Skintchick gets special treatment. She may well be inundated with Mums (from what I am hearing this is quite gender specific) who too believe that they have a calling to do something that is not 'children work' and therefore don't want to be on the rota.

Plus she's going to have a baby in the summer and SC seems to think it's funny to deliberately overload her with duties at this time for revenge.

Brighton_belle

guruchelles wrote: »

Plus she's going to have a baby in the summer and SC seems to think it's funny to deliberately overload her with duties at this time for revenge.

You've miss read that - SC was talking about organising a rota of meal suppliers to help Donna and her husband when the newborn arrives.

guruchelles

Brighton_belle wrote: »

You've miss read that - SC was talking about organising a rota of meal suppliers to help Donna and her husband when the newborn arrives.

Apologies.

Mojisola

poet123 wrote: »

Unless I am mistaken I thought that was exactly what was now being asked.

I'll be very surprised if skintchick is complaining about doing just one session a term. If she is, I'd say she should just do it.

Cherry_Bomb

skintchick wrote: »

in fact, she made a good point. When our children were dedicated (like christening but we do adult baptisms, no water usd on babies) the whole congregation stood and promised to help bring up our children in God's ways, so actually, doing creche would be a way of people fulfilling that promise to the parents in the church.

So because you volunteer in other ways it makes you exempt from (and in your words) fulfilling gods promise of helping to raise the children?

I'm assuming your have also been part of the congregation when other people's children have been dedicated therefore your friends point is ridiculous.

Mrs_Arcanum

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

So because you volunteer in other ways it makes you exempt from (and in your words) fulfilling gods promise of helping to raise the children?

I'm assuming your have also been part of the congregation when other people's children have been dedicated therefore your friends point is ridiculous.

Think it is more like the OP does (for example) 15 hours work a week for the church, then is being asked to do another 2 hours as well because her child benefits for those 2 hours. Never mind that EVERYONE (including others offspring) benefit far more from the 15 hours already done elsewhere.

nickyhutch

OP, how often would you need to be on the rota?

JethroUK

skintchick wrote: »

... tell me what you think and what you would do. I'm braced!

shes prolly wondering why you think you can unload your child/ren onto someone else and not contribute towards their care

either take your child out of the creche - or join the rota

simple

poet123

Brighton_belle wrote: »

You've miss read that - SC was talking about organising a rota of meal suppliers to help Donna and her husband when the newborn arrives.

To make her feel guilty for not organising a rota of the same when she (the OP) had a recent op.