Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

ValHaller

skintchick wrote: »

You;ve had a really good response to this already but for me being a worship leader means that I spend the week before the Sunday I am leading getting a band together out of our pool of musicians, and praying about what God wants me to do.

I pray over the song choices I make and the scriptures I might read out, and we then meet an hour before service to practice.

during the week I will also talk to my pastor and the person leading the service, and the person speaking (usually all different people) to hear what they are doing and if they have any ideas to offer.

I prepare the song choice and order which takes a couple of hours.

Then on Sunday I lead the band in the music while listening to the Holy Spirit to know what God wants. Songs will change, or be dropped, people will read out Scripture or speak in tongues or bring a prophecy or interpretation of the tongue.

My role is to keep the worship section of the service on God's course, and to have appropriate material prepared.

It's very different to a traditional stand-up-sit-down kind of service.

You do all this listening to the Holy Spirit, but when it comes to an issue with Donna and Fred, you seek inspiration from unbelievers?

Actually, I think that you have had a fair amount of insight into this from believers and unbelievers alike and it is at times like this that the unbelievers can speak a great deal of truth.

silvercar

You do all this listening to the Holy Spirit, but when it comes to an issue with Donna and Fred, you seek inspiration from unbelievers?

I don't think OP is asking for inspiration, but seeking advice on dealing with a situation.

Torry_Quine

poet123 wrote: »

That, again, is one perspective of church. We went to church as a family and our children remained with us for the service.

Is that typical of Catholic churches? I ask because I have never known a church where the children stayed for the whole service. There is always some kind of Sunday School which is to the benefit of the children as they are taught at the level which is right for them.

Frith

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Is that typical of Catholic churches? I ask because I have never known a church where the children stayed for the whole service. There is always some kind of Sunday School which is to the benefit of the children as they are taught at the level which is right for them.

My mum is an organist and has (at times) played for all 5 churches in the parish and others when needed. (C of E). And there has never been a Sunday school at any of them!

So I've never known a church where children left any part of any service at all.

Come to think of it, my mum was brought up as a Methodist so occasionally we went to chapel too and there was nothing different laid on for children there either!

Torry_Quine

Frith wrote: »

My mum is an organist and has (at times) played for all 5 churches in the parish and others when needed. (C of E). And there has never been a Sunday school at any of them!

So I've never known a church where children left any part of any service at all.

Come to think of it, my mum was brought up as a Methodist so occasionally we went to chapel too and there was nothing different laid on for children there either!

You learn something new everday. I can't imagine anything but bored children after a 40 minute sermon as part of a 90 minute service though as my church is.

coolcait

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Is that typical of Catholic churches? I ask because I have never known a church where the children stayed for the whole service. There is always some kind of Sunday School which is to the benefit of the children as they are taught at the level which is right for them.

It depends on the individual church community - and that may well hold true for other faiths and denominations too.

I've been to Catholic churches where young children (and their parents) are expected to be in 'crying rooms' - away from the rest of the congregation, but able to hear Mass.

I've been to Catholic churches where young children (and their parents) are part of the congregation throughout Mass.

And I've been in other Catholic churches where young children spend part of the Mass away from the congregation, with appropriately-checked 'leaders/assistants', studying the day's readings/gospel at an age appropriate level.

In the latter instance, I might have found myself in the OP's position. My children attended the 'children's liturgy', but I didn't put myself forward as one of the leaders/assistants.

That was mainly because I was already acting as a lay reader - and the rotas were drawn up separately. so there was too much scope for confusion.

There was also a personal element to it. I know my own strengths and weaknesses.

Lay reader - strength. Dealing with other people's children, in large numbers - weakness.

It would have been unchristian to insist that I took part in the 'children's liturgy' rota. :A

No child deserves such a punishment! :eek:

:rotfl:

Frith

I don't think we ever had a service that long! 20 minutes for the sermon, 2 readings, 4 or 5 hymns and any local notices and banns read out.

But yes, we were incredibly bored.

coolcait

Torry_Quine wrote: »

You learn something new everday. I can't imagine anything but bored children after a 40 minute sermon as part of a 90 minute service though as my church is.

I think that some faiths and/or denominations tend to have longer services and/or sermons than others.

Within those faiths and/or denominations, some church communities will have shorter/longer services and sermons than others.

In my experience - which includes many ecumenical services, and sharing worship with friends of other faiths/denominations (without crossing any boundaries) - Catholic services and sermons are by far the shortest.

(But, depending on the priest of course, the sermons can still be very thought-provoking).

Back on topic, the fact that the services and sermons tend to be shorter does mean that younger children are more likely to be able to sit through the whole service/sermon without being too distracted and disruptive.

poet123

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Is that typical of Catholic churches? I ask because I have never known a church where the children stayed for the whole service. There is always some kind of Sunday School which is to the benefit of the children as they are taught at the level which is right for them.

I think it is individual to churches. We are a two church parish and in one of the churches there is a children's liturgy group available and in the other there isn't. My children didn't attend the liturgy group as I think that you have to teach children how to behave appropriately even when they may be bored. As they attended a faith school they had daily input at their level so that wasn't an issue for me. A Mass is only an hour long so not such an arduous experience even for young children.

Torry_Quine

coolcait wrote: »

I think that some faiths and/or denominations tend to have longer services and/or sermons than others.

Within those faiths and/or denominations, some church communities will have shorter/longer services and sermons than others.

In my experience - which includes many ecumenical services, and sharing worship with friends of other faiths/denominations (without crossing any boundaries) - Catholic services and sermons are by far the shortest.

(But, depending on the priest of course, the sermons can still be very thought-provoking).

Back on topic, the fact that the services and sermons tend to be shorter does mean that younger children are more likely to be able to sit through the whole service/sermon without being too distracted and disruptive.

I agree about the length of services varying. I was brought up in a Cof S church with the one hour service but always Sunday School.