Need help with saying no to someone while not falling out

bylromarha

Not read through the whole thread.

Our churches sound similar in style.

It is a fact that those who do, get asked to do more and those who don't, don't ever get asked. It'd take too long to list on here all the things I'm doing in church at the moment - and I work full time.

I don't agree with the "worship leading is my primary calling" bit as being a parent is your calling over your church responsibilities. I speak as a worship leader too.

Having lead one of the kids work groups for years, it is rare you get someone who feels called to kids work. They do exist, but are few and far between. I lead our group because it needs to be done. I'd happily give up leading it tomorrow, but if I did, no one else would step up as "I'm not called to do that" and it would take someone else seeing the gap and realising as I did, serving sometimes means doing something which has to be done for the body.

Our church is so short of kids workers that every family which has 1 or more children in Sunday morning kids work has to have one or more parent serving on one of the Sunday morning kids work rotas on a 1 week on in 4. Your husband is doing that.

Often Christians skirt round these sorts of things - as your thread on here illustrates, if I'm frank! Just say "No, I'm not doing Creche anymore. We're already doing too much on a Sunday if I'm honest." Smile and move the conversation on.

System

It is a fact that those who do, get asked to do more and those who don't, don't ever get asked.

So true. Its assumed you will say yes.

DannyBo

Moral of the story: avoid any kind of 'church' and be hassle free

Take up bingo, it's less stressful.

daisiegg

Sorry to take the thread briefly off course but I was raised Catholic and some of the stuff being mentioned is alien to me - what exactly is 'worship' and what does a 'worship leader' do?

System

daisiegg wrote: »

Sorry to take the thread briefly off course but I was raised Catholic and some of the stuff being mentioned is alien to me - what exactly is 'worship' and what does a 'worship leader' do?

Worship - Give the praise to the Lord that is due. Usually in the form of singing and praying.

Dannybo. The sort of 'hastle' we are mentioning i am sure isnt from the totally righteous of heart.

You get people who do a job because they love it. You get people who do a job to fulfill their own self importance. Its usually the latter that cause the problems.

As for Bingo..... i hate bingo

Brighton_belle

daisiegg wrote: »

Sorry to take the thread briefly off course but I was raised Catholic and some of the stuff being mentioned is alien to me - what exactly is 'worship' and what does a 'worship leader' do?

Evangelical/born again style of churches and some of the more evangelical baptists and C of E's too) turned away from the more formal 'we will now sing hymn number x, then a preplanned reading then we will singhymn number y' and have a more free flowing 'holy spirit led 'worship time for 1/2 an hour to an hour long at the beginning of a service.
This is generally prepared for a little before hand (by the worship leader), who leads at the front but in an 'open to the Holy spirit leading the session' way. They will have spent qute a bit of time in prayer and contemplation before hand.
This means often other than a few ideas, no one knows before hand what songs will be sung, what prayers will be made, scripture might be inspired to be read etc, if and when singing in tongues may occur.
Members of the chuch can join in with contributions (and of course will pick up any song someone starts as they will know the large repetoire of chorus style songs available) as and when they feel led by the Holy Spirit. But the person at the front holds in together and can introdue a sequence of songs that flow naturally together with a similar theme. These will not be hymns but more choruses,of a more modern nature and everyone will be free to raise their hands and even dance with joy, as they feel led.
It is a little confusing if you have never been part of something like this before as you have no idea what is going on, but if you allow yourself to relax into it and not worry you don't know what is going to happen next, then you soon get used to it.

bestpud

poet123 wrote: »

Not if they operate as individuals. He presumably chooses to do the group, in the same way as the OP would like to choose to do only the other roles.

That would rather depend on whether all the couples operate as individuals i.e. each parent takes a turn on the rota.

If it is primarily the mothers and the father is only called upon if the mother refuses, then Skintchick's husband is fulfilling their childcare role in my eyes.

bestpud

DannyBo wrote: »

Moral of the story: avoid any kind of 'church' and be hassle free

Take up bingo, it's less stressful.

I am trying very hard not to think about the church part when I reply as I am totally bemused as to why anyone would a) still believe all this stuff and b) want to spend 2 hours a week learning more about it!

That is just my thoughts obviously and I see religion as akin to some complementary therapies - there isn't anything in the way of real evidence for it, but it helps some people on some level or another so let them get on with it.

Soo, bingo all the way for me! (I hate bingo but it seems the lesser punishment in this case! :rotfl:)

securityguy

onlyroz wrote: »

You see, my weekends are precious as it's the time that I get to properly spend time with my family. The idea of going off to do something separate to them on my precious sunday is just baffling.

People who go to the pub and leave their children with random strangers because they love alcohol more than they love their children are bad. People who go to the church and leave their children with random strangers because they love sermons more than their children are shining moral examples to us all. Aren't we lucky that there are people who have their priorities right, to show the rest of us where we're going wrong?

Frith

"Someone else said that Donna and Fred don't sound nice. They are our assistant pastor and his wife!!"

Um... that doesn't mean they will automatically be nice....