dilemma help please

SuzieSue

CH27 wrote: »

If I received that email you sent I would be extremely p*ssed off.

The OP has had 40 years of her sister's behaviour, so the email she sent wasn't just out of the blue. She knows exactly what her sister is like and has had enough of the way she and her husband are being treated by her sister.

CH27

SuzieSue wrote: »

The OP has had 40 years of her sister's behaviour, so the email she sent wasn't just out of the blue. She knows exactly what her sister is like and has had enough of the way she and her husband are being treated by her sister.

And it sounds like the sister has had enough too.

Six of one & half a dozen of the other?

bagpussbear

In my opinion, life is too short to spend your precious time with people you don't like. I also think it a bit weird that you had to pay half for your birthday gift to be honest. I'd never do that to a friend, I would either pay in full for the ticket, or not at all if I can't afford it. Personally, if it was me, I'd decline and say that I don't want to go given my husband wasn't coming, and yet everyone else's other halves seem to be invited.
(edited: sorry by the time I'd finished typing my response, things had moved on in your thread, sorry! Horrible reply from your sister, I'd feel like saying "so your idea of "treating" me is giving me half a present?!" but that's quite harsh I realise if you want to keep a relationship with her, it might not be the best thing to say. Best of luck.

pukkamum

Just had this reply
do you know what pukkamum I am sick and tired of !!!!!-footing around you and your delicate sensibilities. your husbands tired of being left out of what???? I am sure he doesn't actually give a !!!!. You have a got a massive chip on your shoulder and I am tired of making excuses for it. Lets just agree not to bother with each other any more because clearly you have a massive problem with me, my family and everything about me which frankly I am too !!!!ing old to deal with.

pukkamum

And I sent this, and I know I should have just let it go but I just couldn't

What exactly is any of that supposed to mean?
Exactly what delicate sensibilities?
That I would like my husband to be at least considered when things are organised?
Is that what you don't like, the fact that I actually enjoy being with my husband and want to spend time with and would rather do these things with him than without him?
My husband was left out of your husbands stag do, left out of the Stone roses and now this and you know what yes he does give a !!!!, he was actually really !!!!ed off about all of those things and you know what sister it isn't me who has the chip on their shoulder it's you.

What have I ever done to make you think I have a problem with you or your family?
I have had your son to sleep on more than one occasion, I have had him over when he is at mum's, I have had you all over for fireworks parties kids birthdays, invited you for a do after xmas which you made clear to me you didn't want to do.
How much of this have you done?
How many invites to your house have we recieved, how many times have you had my kids over for tea or sleepovers?

I have as I said before organised things for you me and our other sister, none of which you or our other sister have ever done, so what exactly is it you want from me that I am not giving?
What you actually want is for me to be glad for any sliver of your company that you chose to give, that I should want to be at your house constantly, that I should want to spend time with your friends, quite frankly one of the reasons i din't want to come is that I have no interest in spending a weekend with your friend and his girlfriend, I don't particulary like either of them.

I am fed of you seeing me as poor pukkamum trapped in her council house with no money just waiting for fairy godmother sister to rescue me, well you know what I am very very happy with my life, I don't need to escape and I don't need you to make me feel this way just because I am not available to you whenever you so desire.
You know what sister if you really want to deprive your son and baby of his family because you aren't getting your own way, or I'm not giving you the attention you feel you deserve then so be it as you say I too am too old for this !!!!, I have been putting up with it for years and I am done.
If ever you feel like being reasonable and actually waking up to yourself then we are here, as we always are.

purple.sarah

Step away from the keyboard! I agree your sister is being unfair but it might not be a bad idea to take a break from each other and discuss it again (not by email) when you are both calmer.

jellyhead

We've had a family feud between two females but they have managed to avoid each other without it affecting the child involved. Couldn't you still see your nephew when he's at your mum's even if you don't see your sister?

SuzieSue

OP, the exchange of emails you are having with your sister are just like the ones I had with mine, so I really feel for you. It makes me very sad reading your emails but I also understand that there is a limit to what anyone can cope with and it looks like you (and your sister) have reached it.

As in my situation, I don't know how long we won't be in contact with each other, but I think you both need a break.

Hopefully, it will resolve itself once you have both had time to think. I really hope it does.

OllysMum_2

victory wrote: »

Don't let it escalate, ring her mobile, her landline, don't tit for tat answer emails in anger, can never take them back, calm down first and be better, ring her, if she won't pick up then text her with a time you will ring so she knows you are going to ring her..

You should have taken this advice!

You've interpreted what's behind a gesture and for all you know, added two and two to make five. Your sister might have thought you would be delighted with the birthday present, and is now really hacked off at your reaction. You're both more polarised now than ever. Emails should be banned for communication - too quick and hasty.

Stop flinging the emails around, let the dust settle, call her up and apologise for taking things the wrong way, and thank her for her kind present.

Seriously, life is too short.

victory

Please please step away from the computer, no good will come of it, it's going to escalate so bad everyone takes a higher stand and before you know it not one member is talking to the other:eek:

Worth it ?