DD being bullied

Sooki

befuddled000 wrote: »

(exclusion? - no one has ever been excluded in the school's history) and what happens in the meantime....

I think you've hit the nail on the head, they won't tackle issues for fear of blemishing their glowing paper record - weak leadership - and a poor duty of care to the children both the bullies and the bullied.

Mojisola

befuddled000 wrote: »

Please see post 57.........I don't need to be made to feel any worse!!

Dont' feel bad - I know it's much harder to see what's happening when it's a little bit at a time and sometimes gets better and sometimes gets worse - that's the value in presenting the situation to fresh eyes. It's what you do now that's important.

This sounds ridiculous, but the school is good - the education, teaching, facilities, etc. It is these girls. I do not want my daughter to miss out on everything else if there is a way in which the other situation can be dealt with.

Although reading this thread through, I am thinking maybe not.

It doesn't matter how good the school's facilities are - bullying eats right into your centre and many people carry the effects with them long into adulthood. If it can't be stopped swiftly, get her out of such a toxic environment.

mumps

Please get her out of there. My DD had nearly three years of this, sounds so familiar I could cry.

mumps

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't matter how good the school's facilities are - bullying eats right into your centre and many people carry the effects with them long into adulthood. If it can't be stopped swiftly, get her out of such a toxic environment.

You are spot on. I wish I knew you years ago, I so needed to know this.

zaxdog

I was bullied for years at a very "good" school and it is an awful experience. I like your daughter was tall and shy and was a bit different (liked alternative music, sci-fi etc).

The result for me was when I literally saw red and smacked the ringleader right in the face, result was blood everywhere and no more bullying. Wish I had done it years before. I'm not an advocate of violence in general but these girls are little scumbags who will simply grow up to be bigger scumbags!

As an adult I neither seek confrontation nor hide from it but I WILL jump in wherever I see bullying taking place (obviously using my voice instead of my fists these days :rotfl:)

If she is too timid to stand up to them then move her as they will NEVER back off and it will just get worse!

red_devil

get someone to ask the girls how they would like to be bullied turn it round on them make them think? isnt life hard enough without people bullying each other whats wrong with folk?

befuddled000

red_devil wrote: »

get someone to ask the girls how they would like to be bullied turn it round on them make them think? isnt life hard enough without people bullying each other whats wrong with folk?

The girls *honestly* do not see what they do as bullying

befuddled000

Mojisola wrote: »

It doesn't matter how good the school's facilities are - bullying eats right into your centre and many people carry the effects with them long into adulthood. If it can't be stopped swiftly, get her out of such a toxic environment.

Thank you, I think I have decided to give it until half term with ALOT of inout from me and working with the Head. If it is not stopped by then, she will have to move.

But *whispers* what if it happens elsewhere? Why would another school be different?

mumps

befuddled000 wrote: »

Thank you, I think I have decided to give it until half term with ALOT of inout from me and working with the Head. If it is not stopped by then, she will have to move.

But *whispers* what if it happens elsewhere? Why would another school be different?

When my DD changed schools her form tutor said to her, "You can be whoever you want to be here, no one knows you. Decide if you want to be the funny one, the nerd, the helpful one." It wasn't magic, she was still vulnerable after what she had been through but it was better and got better and better. Good luck, I hope it is OK.

With reference to them not thinking they are doing anything wrong, my DD bumped into one of her tormentors last year, she threw her arms round by DD gushing over her asking how she was etc. DD just stood there rigid and the other girl had no idea why this was.

universalady_2

First of all, I have no children, so have no idea of what schools are like now or how the system is supposed to work, but as this is a public forum...

I totally sympathise with your desperation to make things normal for your daughter, however IMO you do come across as not being as forthright and demanding to the school that your DD's safety & well being (mentally & physically) demands, maybe you are also so worn down by it that now actually taking further action is somehow daunting to you?

Apart from going as high up the school chain as you can, shouting as loud as you can about how these girls are tormenting your daughter, (and I don't use that term lightly, they are tormenting her 24 hrs a day, just because she comes home, maybe does some out of school activities, their remarks, actions, name calling is still damaging her mental well being) can you not also report it to the police? not sure they would even want to know, but this is harrassment surely? regardless of where it takes place.

Failing that I would certainly be contacting my solicitor to find out how to go forward with either enforcing an anti-bullying policy or taking action against the school for not upholding their own code of conduct. It may be that the head teacher is more prepared to do something to get the situation sorted, but YOU need to be on his case every day, otherwise, I think I would pull her out without question