DD being bullied

KateBob

Since you've tried approaching the school and that appears not to have worked yet, could you speak directly to the mothers of the bullies?

Never underestimate the power of embarrassment to persuade said parents to deal with the behaviour issues!

Edit: Sorry by the time I'd posted you'd already dealt with that.

befuddled000

balletshoes wrote: »

your daughter is already being called a snitch - so theres no reason for her not to continue to ask for help from the teaching staff when these girls start on her in school. The school can't help her if she doesn't tell them whats going on, when its going on.

If, after you've been back to the school and discussed this all with them again, theres no improvement, contacting the governors/LEA would be the next step, if you feel that the school is not upholding their own anti-bullying policies (do you have a copy of those?).

If your child is terrified of these classmates, and she's beginning to dread going into school because of it, I'd be thinking of moving her, sorry. It doesn't mean she'll be bullied in her new school just because she is bullied in her current one.

I forgot to mention, the head has asked that we speak weekly to discuss what is happening, so that anything DD is too concerned to speak to the school about is still passed on.

He has made it clear that it can be escalated as far as is required for resolution.....I'm just concerned about what that actually means (exclusion? - no one has ever been excluded in the school's history) and what happens in the meantime....

custardy

befuddled000 wrote: »

Would you change her with 5 terms left?

That sounds really sarcy, it's not, I promise it's just a question

I would do it with 1 term
its a long time for someone who dreads going to school
Im petrified of being in the OPs situation with my boy
I wouldnt like to be in the situation and being a guy I am, wouldnt be surprised to see me speaking candidly to the parents

befuddled000

Kate/Bob wrote: »

Since you've tried approaching the school and that appears not to have worked yet, could you speak directly to the mothers of the bullies?

Never underestimate the power of embarrassment to persuade said parents to deal with the behaviour issues!

I spoke to one 2 years ago and she will physically shove me out of the way rather than talk to me now, and the other sent me a "friendly" message on fb over Xmas (oh she was clever enough for the threat to be truly veiled!!)

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

That'll really help her deal with difficult people as an adult.

Adults are emotionally mature and (generally) rational so talking to them works, but kids are not...and when they form packs they can be the nastiest things alive. Obviously when you gain adulthood you reason with people...but I don't see anything wrong with giving the playground bully a whooping he/she won't forget.

What does it teach the victim? It teaches them that retreat is not always the best way to win the war.

custardy wrote: »

I wouldnt like to be in the situation and being a guy I am, wouldnt be surprised to see me speaking candidly to the parents

Wouldn't it gain more results if you had a little 'chat' with the child instead....they'd scare more easily.

befuddled000

Welshwoofs wrote: »

What does it teach the victim? It teaches them that retreat is not always the best way to win the war.

Her nature is such that it is all she will do-she is looking to me for help

Mojisola

If you were in that position at work, would you keep going into work for another year and a half or would you be looking for a new job?

If the school can't turn this round very quickly, I would be looking at other schools.

balletshoes

befuddled000 wrote: »

I forgot to mention, the head has asked that we speak weekly to discuss what is happening, so that anything DD is too concerned to speak to the school about is still passed on.

He has made it clear that it can be escalated as far as is required for resolution.....I'm just concerned about what that actually means (exclusion? - no one has ever been excluded in the school's history) and what happens in the meantime....

you have to do whats right by your daughter - so if you have the Head prepared to meet with you both once a week to discuss anything thats gone on, then that can only be a good thing as far as I'm concerned. What happens to the other girls is down to the school, thats not going to be your decision, and shouldn't be your concern. The girls are not concerned with your daughter's wellbeing when they are bullying her, so its up to their parents to deal with any fallout from their child's bullying behaviour.

befuddled000

balletshoes wrote: »

you have to do whats right by your daughter - so if you have the Head prepared to meet with you both once a week to discuss anything thats gone on, then that can only be a good thing as far as I'm concerned. What happens to the other girls is down to the school, thats not going to be your decision, and shouldn't be your concern. The girls are not concerned with your daughter's wellbeing when they are bullying her, so its up to their parents to deal with any fallout from their child's bullying behaviour.

The girls (and parents as far as I can tell) REALLY do not see that what they are doing is wrong. Luckily the head does (he is new, only started in Sept) and I do.

Thank you for the part I bolded, I shall make sure I remember that.

Welshwoofs

befuddled000 wrote: »

He has made it clear that it can be escalated as far as is required for resolution.....I'm just concerned about what that actually means (exclusion? - no one has ever been excluded in the school's history) and what happens in the meantime....

If they'd said they'll actually do something rather than sit around contemplating their bellybuttons, then it may be an idea to be the biggest squeaky wheel you can so that it actually gets to the point where expelling the bully is one hell of a lot easier than dealing with you.