DD being bullied

Welshwoofs

custardy wrote: »

I'm sure it would
however the legality and morality(I'm not exactly a small guy) of scaring a kid is an issue
obviously its all relative. at 9 years old my physical presence and looks(Im sporting my axe murderer look right now of beard and shaved head

True - little kids would be a no-go but an uppity teen would be another matter. I certainly offered to have a little chat with an extremely nasty 15yr old that was making one of my friends' kid's life utter hell. She didn't take me up on it. Mind you, with teen 'problem kids' these days you don't know if they'll have weapons...

My boy will be given the chance to participate in various forms of combat training. so hopefully it wont be an issue for me to solve

Really good idea - gives confidence and a means to disable if attacked.

I don't have kids and until I'd heard stories from various friends experiencing the problem with their own, I had no idea how ineffectual schools were these days. One school reacted to reports of my friend's daughter being badly bullied by inviting the ring-leaders into a meeting where they said "X isn't feeling very happy; what do you all think we could do make her feel better?" - the answer from one of the bullies was "Give her a slap." That, apparently, was the 'no blame' initiative.....about as much use as paper bra in a rainstorm.

princessdon

Talk to her friends parents so they can help. Having her true friends around her supporting her and joining in the stand up can be priceless. Bullies won't take on a crowd. If she isn't alone, has friends blanketing her for a while they'll move to other victims.

My dd has done this for her friends recently and it's working so far.

befuddled000

princessdon wrote: »

Talk to her friends parents so they can help. Having her true friends around her supporting her and joining in the stand up can be priceless. Bullies won't take on a crowd. If she isn't alone, has friends blanketing her for a while they'll move to other victims.

My dd has done this for her friends recently and it's working so far.

The bullies already have their team. For various reasons, it is an exceptionally small year group. The only girls that are not on the bullies side are either a) trying to get in with them or b) will not get involved / stand against the bullies.

angelsmomma

befuddled000 wrote: »

Mobiles yes, and I expect more now we are after Xmas, but fully monitored by me. (she doesn't text, only email, and her emails come onto my iPhone as well)

Options are still very much open-as an example, DD spent an afternoon on Xmas eve with my parents and sister. She broke down and told them more, as apparently she didn't want to "spoil" Xmas for me and her brother, so she was going to tell me after but it had become too much to bear alone.

Mother was all for never letting her set foot back in and just home tutoring (until we remembered we were thick :rotfl: )

She has a heart of gold

This is exactly what I did when my son was being bullied. A year on he is a different child.

befuddled000

angelsmomma wrote: »

This is exactly what I did when my son was being bullied

Did you do it as a temporary measure or long term? Were you concerned about any social integration issues?

grey_lady

I think there are two or three things you can do here,
firstly - change schools
secondly - be on the schools case daily, going through a formal complaints procedure etc, make it easier for the school to stop the bullying than have to deal with you.
thirdly - this book seems to come highly recommended - it's like life-coaching, confidence building for children and bullying is one of things it covers.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parents-Toolkit-Simple-Effective-Child/dp/009194015X/ref=as_li_tf_mfw?&linkCode=wey&!!!!!thkico-21

Or you can do nothing but i hope that isnt an option for you.

angelsmomma

befuddled000 wrote: »

Did you do it as a temporary measure or long term? Were you concerned about any social integration issues?

I only intended doing it until he went to secondary school but it went so well I decided not to send him back to school at all.

My regret now is that I did not do it when he was first bullied in year 1.

I have just looked and at this moment doing maths on the computer. Just because he wanted to not because I told him to.

befuddled000

grey_lady wrote: »

I think there are two or three things you can do here,
firstly - change schools
secondly - be on the schools case daily, going through a formal complaints procedure etc, make it easier for the school to stop the bullying than have to deal with you.
thirdly - this book seems to come highly recommended - it's like life-coaching, confidence building for children and bullying is one of things it covers.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Parents-Toolkit-Simple-Effective-Child/dp/009194015X/ref=as_li_tf_mfw?&linkCode=wey&!!!!!thkico-21

Or you can do nothing but i hope that isnt an option for you.

I'm going to do 2nd first, buy the 3rd on the kindle for tomorrow, and the first one last Oh, and the last one-never! :rotfl:

befuddled000

Just to add, the last thing she was told by one of the girls was that DD was now "her servant"

Lord hold me back!! :mad:

balletshoes

befuddled000 wrote: »

Just to add, the last thing she was told by one of the girls was that DD was now "her servant"

Lord hold me back!! :mad:

How about teaching your DD some comeback phrases - ie in reply to the above "whatever" or "in your dreams" or "never going to happen". You never know, the bullies might just be gobsmacked that she's talking back, that they might stop (for a while).