DD being bullied

befuddled000

concerned43 wrote: »

Oh and I made sure the bullies from last year were not put into any of his classes this year
....you would be amazed how much power you get once they have a threat of court action hanging over them!

We'll be kicked out before that happens-which would present it's own set of problems but hey ho!!

Mojisola

befuddled000 wrote: »

They take the *** out of her for being the tallest in the year (early puberty not helping this) so standing tall is that last thing she wants to do.

In her head, she has great comebacks and brilliant one liners, but she is so dominated nothing seems to come out at the right moment

Hunching over will say to them that she's ashamed of herself and an easy target.

Practice the comebacks!

concerned43

Have a look at this
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/education_ni/education_school_education_ew/problems_at_school.htm#h_bullying

Forget trying to deal with this yourself, explain to your dd that the school has a legal right to protect her and she must inform you/ teacher if the school is not protecting her! This helped my ds see that although the school were failing him the law would and this gave him a different angle to work with and he knows he only needs to say the work and we would go to court - so I have put him in control of this and this has empowered him and helped with his self esteem.

Savvy_Sue

So you're paying good money to send your child to a private school where she's been bullied for the last couple of years, and you won't pull her out? Seriously, give notice and withdraw her. With the money you save on school fees you can look around for a good state school. Start looking now!

bluenoseam

I'm also thinking that this is happening at a private school and sod all's been done about it - sorry, but my boot would be so far up the board's backside that their dentist could tie my shoelace! I would second the sending your daughter to martial arts classes, it's not all about beating people up, it's about self control & discipline - and if all else fails, well, you can defend yourself.

And I'm also not adverse to the thought process that well, all of this, all of the "official" channels don't seem to have worked - I never met anyone dumb enough to not take the not so gentle hint of the "unofficial" channel. It's not the done thing these days to encourage kids to fight back though, they say violence never solves anything but well, there's a thousand well balanced individuals who'd argue that's not always true.

befuddled000

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

So you're paying for various reasons this is not the case good money to send your child to a private school where she's been bullied for the last couple of years,

Obviously if it had been constant I would have done-it just seems to rumble on with temporary lapses. Each "reprieve" (for want of a better word) has been longer and therefore we have all believed it was over..........Things really only came to a final head in the few weeks of last term.

pmlindyloo

I think you now need to ask yourself what you want the school to do and whether this is viable.

Obviously you want the girls to stop their bullying but in my honest opinion this is not going to happen. The girls have already been 'warned' and it has made no difference. They do not see what they do as bullying. They think they are having a laugh, being 'big' in front of their class mates, playing out their role as 'top dog' with their gang of followers. It is extremely difficult to change this behaviour. The fact that you have become involved, in a way, has just added fuel to the fire (not a criticism of you 'cos I would have been up to the school in a flash.)

So, we have to look at other options.

Do you want them all expelled? Do you think the school will do this?

Given the number of girls involved I think this is unlikely.

What we are left with is your daughter coping with the situation or changing schools.

Only you and your daughter can make the decision about this. Have you talked to her about changing schools? I suspect that this would be the last thing she wants.........or maybe not.

The only other thing I can suggest is that you and the Head agree that your daughter should take a break from school and hope the whole thing dies down. Would this be a possibility? Could you home tutor for a while?

What a horrible situation. I wish you the very best of luck.

Mojisola

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

So you're paying good money to send your child to a private school where she's been bullied for the last couple of years, and you won't pull her out? Seriously, give notice and withdraw her. With the money you save on school fees you can look around for a good state school. Start looking now!

I missed the bit about it happening at a private school!

All the control is in your hands - losing fee-paying children and bad publicity are the two things a school would hate. Why have you let things drag on for so long?

The school has broken any contract with you by not keeping your child safe so make sure the board knows why you're withdrawing your child and how you'd be happy to explain about their failure to tackle the bullying to the world if they try to take any more money off you.

Get her out and pay for home tutoring or find a good local school.

befuddled000

Mojisola wrote: »

I missed the bit about it happening at a private school!

All the control is in your hands - losing fee-paying children and bad publicity are the two things a school would hate. Why have you let things drag on for so long?

The school has broken any contract with you by not keeping your child safe so make sure the board knows why you're withdrawing your child and how you'd be happy to explain about their failure to tackle the bullying to the world if they try to take any more money off you.

Get her out and pay for home tutoring or find a good local school.

Please see post 57.........I don't need to be made to feel any worse!!

This sounds ridiculous, but the school is good - the education, teaching, facilities, etc. It is these girls. I do not want my daughter to miss out on everything else if there is a way in which the other situation can be dealt with.

Al though reading this thread through, I am thinking maybe not.

befuddled000

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Do you want them all expelled? Do you think the school will do this?
the head has specifically said "whatever needs to be done will be, this is unacceptable" So, perhaps?
Given the number of girls involved I think this is unlikely.

There are 2 "key players"

What we are left with is your daughter coping with the situation or changing schools.

Only you and your daughter can make the decision about this. Have you talked to her about changing schools? I suspect that this would be the last thing she wants.........or maybe not.

She has mentioned it............

The only other thing I can suggest is that you and the Head agree that your daughter should take a break from school and hope the whole thing dies down. Would this be a possibility? Could you home tutor for a while?

What a horrible situation. I wish you the very best of luck.

I think if we go, we go. No going back.........