DD being bullied

Contessa

May I suggest you also look at this book (there's a Kindle version)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/BULLYCIDE-Death-at-Playtime-ebook/dp/B004IWRDB0/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357081283&sr=1-2
Highly recommended

pmlindyloo

befuddled000 wrote: »

This would not be an issue at DD's school, but I do take your point

Why wouldn't this be an issue?


Is this a private school?


I have to agree that the chances of this being sorted out are quite slim.


It is impossible for teachers to keep an eye on what is happening all the time. Playtimes, lunchtimes are excellent times for bullying to take place.


Have you spoken to your daughter and asked her what she wants to happen? (apart from the obvious 'make them stop')


Unless these girls can be separated and put in different classes I do not see what can be done. You have no support from their parents and it does not seem as if the previous 'punishment' from the Head Teacher has done any good.


Have you discussed with your daughter various tactics to deal with these horrid girls?


I always told my kids to put their hands on their hips, make an ugly face and scream 'stop doing that!). If nothing else the teacher/dinner lady comes running pretty blooming quickly! We had great fun practising this!


Not trying to make light of this but as an ex teacher I know how cruel children can be (especially girls) without laying a hand on their 'victim' and I wanted mine to be prepared.


Can you find some way for your daughter to deal with this?

angelsmomma

befuddled000 wrote: »

Just to add, the last thing she was told by one of the girls was that DD was now "her servant"

Lord hold me back!! :mad:

At 9? words fail me.

princessdon

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Why wouldn't this be an issue?


Is this a private school?


I have to agree that the chances of this being sorted out are quite slim.


It is impossible for teachers to keep an eye on what is happening all the time. Playtimes, lunchtimes are excellent times for bullying to take place.


Have you spoken to your daughter and asked her what she wants to happen? (apart from the obvious 'make them stop')


Unless these girls can be separated and put in different classes I do not see what can be done. You have no support from their parents and it does not seem as if the previous 'punishment' from the Head Teacher has done any good.


Have you discussed with your daughter various tactics to deal with these horrid girls?


I always told my kids to put their hands on their hips, make an ugly face and scream 'stop doing that!). If nothing else the teacher/dinner lady comes running pretty blooming quickly! We had great fun practising this!


Not trying to make light of this but as an ex teacher I know how cruel children can be (especially girls) without laying a hand on their 'victim' and I wanted mine to be prepared.


Can you find some way for your daughter to deal with this?

I have to agree - hence my strength in numbers suggestion. One of her friends was bullied as overweight (not much but enough to give them ammo). My daughter would stand next to them and say loudly "we'll if x is fat next to you, you are huge next to me, are you fat or just a different shape to me?"

They'd comment she was skinny but its water off a ducks back to her (hospital etc tell her weekly) but stopped them from saying that to her friend when she was there.

befuddled000

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Why wouldn't this be an issue?


Is this a private school?
yes

I have to agree that the chances of this being sorted out are quite slim.


It is impossible for teachers to keep an eye on what is happening all the time. Playtimes, lunchtimes are excellent times for bullying to take place.
Which is exactly when it does.

Have you spoken to your daughter and asked her what she wants to happen? (apart from the obvious 'make them stop') That's all she wants


Unless these girls can be separated and put in different classes can't happen - well, they are in different forms, but same sets I do not see what can be done. You have no support from their parents and it does not seem as if the previous 'punishment' from the Head Teacher has done any good.


Have you discussed with your daughter various tactics to deal with these horrid girls? Oh yes, plenty over the last couple of years. nothing seems to work now


I always told my kids to put their hands on their hips, make an ugly face and scream 'stop doing that!). If nothing else the teacher/dinner lady comes running pretty blooming quickly! We had great fun practising this!


Not trying to make light of this but as an ex teacher I know how cruel children can be (especially girls) without laying a hand on their 'victim' This x100!
and I wanted mine to be prepared.


Can you find some way for your daughter to deal with this?

She has tried, honestly for a couple of years to deal with it, but I am genuinely worried about her state of mind now.

befuddled000

princessdon wrote: »

I have to agree - hence my strength in numbers suggestion. .

There's simply not enough of them annoyingly!

concerned43

I really sympathise - my ds has been bullied for the past 2 years and I have tried Everything!!
Lost count of the amount of meetings/ calls to the school
Had words with the parents
Got him into martial arts
Got him a crowd of friends to protect him
The list goes on and on.........
Finally I snapped - walked into school with my lawyer and threatened court action if they failed to protect ds under 'duty of care'
Not saying it has stopped but when the odd remarked is made to him, the teacher acts on it immediately and the bully is tackled in front of the whole class. If not and I get wind of it, I call the school and tell them what has happened and the situation is sorted immediately.
It is getting better for him but it did take a threat from me to make sure the school took it seriously

Mojisola

balletshoes wrote: »

How about teaching your DD some comeback phrases - ie in reply to the above "whatever" or "in your dreams" or "never going to happen". You never know, the bullies might just be gobsmacked that she's talking back, that they might stop (for a while).

Will she do a bit of role play with you so that she can practice how to react when things get said? It's always easier to react if you've done something rather than just thought about it. If you can end up falling about laughing because you've made things very silly, all the better. Being able to laugh at the things bullies say and do (even if it's in the safety of home) takes away a lot of their power.

Don't forget how important things like posture are as well. If she stands up tall and looks them in the eye, she'll look less like a victim.

Usually it's worth going to any club that does physical training - any of the martial arts, gymnastics, dance - because it changes the way you present yourself and gives you more confidence.

befuddled000

Mojisola wrote: »

Will she do a bit of role play with you so that she can practice how to react when things get said?

It's always easier to react if you've done something rather than just thought about it.

Don't forget how important things like posture are as well. If she stands up tall and looks them in the eye, she'll look less like a victim.

Usually it's worth going to any club that does physical training - any of the martial arts, gymnastics, dance - because it changes the way you present yourself and gives you more confidence.

They take the *** out of her for being the tallest in the year (early puberty not helping this) so standing tall is that last thing she wants to do.

In her head, she has great comebacks and brilliant one liners, but she is so dominated nothing seems to come out at the right moment

concerned43

Oh and I made sure the bullies from last year were not put into any of his classes this year
....you would be amazed how much power you get once they have a threat of court action hanging over them!