DD being bullied

Triker

Exclusion does nothing, been there, done that resulted in my dd being targetted more. She couldn't win, in the end she was completely ostracised whilst (yet another) internet campaign of hate was set in motion, Facebook etc.

My dd is in her final year, she has literally 3 months to go, it doesn't matter if she has to do retakes in things, theres college for that.
I'll also add that the effect this has had on our family has been very profound. If someone did this kind of behaviour to you in the street it would be seen as harrassment and assault, just because its in school does not mean it 'ok'.
By all means see if you can get anywhere with the Head but be prepared for the resolution not being satisfactory for your dd or indeed it stopping the bullying in the future.

befuddled000

Welshwoofs wrote: »

If they'd said they'll actually do something rather than sit around contemplating their bellybuttons, then it may be an idea to be the biggest squeaky wheel you can so that it actually gets to the point where expelling the bully is one hell of a lot easier than dealing with you.

Well this new chap has said he will, and he has taken strong steps (the last one told me that unless she was hit there was nothing he could do :eek: - he left 3 weeks later )

Triker

Schools only exclude for a day or so, they are penalised very heavily financially if they exclude permanently hence doing 'managed' moves between schools, e.g. you take my nasty, lowlife piece of rubbish and I'll take yours in exchange and they can wreck their havoc in a new school.

Moi, not bitter at all.:D

befuddled000

Triker wrote: »

Exclusion does nothing, been there, done that resulted in my dd being targetted more. She couldn't win, in the end she was completely ostracised whilst (yet another) internet campaign of hate was set in motion, Facebook etc.

My dd is in her final year, she has literally 3 months to go, it doesn't matter if she has to do retakes in things, theres college for that.
I'll also add that the effect this has had on our family has been very profound. If someone did this kind of behaviour to you in the street it would be seen as harrassment and assault, just because its in school does not mean it 'ok'.
By all means see if you can get anywhere with the Head but be prepared for the resolution not being satisfactory for your dd or indeed it stopping the bullying in the future.

My (possibly ridiculous) hope is that as the girls are only 9, it can be dealt with "in-house" before the internet gets involved. Some of the girls do have (obviously illegal) facebook accounts, but DD does not so she cannot be hurt by them once the school day is over IYSWIM

befuddled000

Triker wrote: »

Schools only exclude for a day or so, they are penalised very heavily financially if they exclude permanently hence doing 'managed' moves between schools, e.g. you take my nasty, lowlife piece of rubbish and I'll take yours in exchange and they can wreck their havoc in a new school.

Moi, not bitter at all.:D

This would not be an issue at DD's school, but I do take your point

balletshoes

if you haven't already, start making notes of what your daughter says has been happening, and make sure everything is covered when you and her see the Head regularly. It can be daunting for a young child to talk about their feelings with their Head teacher, or even their teacher, but it will help if you are there with the examples of what has happened.

Triker

befuddled000 wrote: »

My (possibly ridiculous) hope is that as the girls are only 9, it can be dealt with "in-house" before the internet gets involved. Some of the girls do have (obviously illegal) facebook accounts, but DD does not so she cannot be hurt by them once the school day is over IYSWIM

Do they mobiles? Honestly its rife as far as I see with an Education System ill equipped and also disinterested in taking these issues seriously with appropriate consequences.

The only effort I've seen (I appreciate my situation is extreme) is the the schools keep it 'in house; so no-one can monitor the reality of bullying and therefore it doesn't really exist too much then does it?

I truly wish you and your dd luck in this but don't discount all of your options.

befuddled000

balletshoes wrote: »

if you haven't already, start making notes of what your daughter says has been happening, and make sure everything is covered when you and her see the Head regularly. It can be daunting for a young child to talk about their feelings with their Head teacher, or even their teacher, but it will help if you are there with the examples of what has happened.

She's already told me that she won't be talking to the head, as the girls "would be worse than ever" so has asked me to do it.

We have a shiny new 2013 diary at the ready

custardy

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Wouldn't it gain more results if you had a little 'chat' with the child instead....they'd scare more easily.

I'm sure it would
however the legality and morality(I'm not exactly a small guy) of scaring a kid is an issue
obviously its all relative. at 9 years old my physical presence and looks(Im sporting my axe murderer look right now of beard and shaved head
at 16,well its a grey area
My boy will be given the chance to participate in various forms of combat training. so hopefully it wont be an issue for me to solve

befuddled000

Triker wrote: »

Do they mobiles? Honestly its rife as far as I see with an Education System ill equipped and also disinterested in taking these issues seriously with appropriate consequences.

The only effort I've seen (I appreciate my situation is extreme) is the the schools keep it 'in house; so no-one can monitor the reality of bullying and therefore it doesn't really exist too much then does it?

I truly wish you and your dd luck in this but don't discount all of your options.

Mobiles yes, and I expect more now we are after Xmas, but fully monitored by me. (she doesn't text, only email, and her emails come onto my iPhone as well)

Options are still very much open-as an example, DD spent an afternoon on Xmas eve with my parents and sister. She broke down and told them more, as apparently she didn't want to "spoil" Xmas for me and her brother, so she was going to tell me after but it had become too much to bear alone.

Mother was all for never letting her set foot back in and just home tutoring (until we remembered we were thick :rotfl: )

She has a heart of gold