meeting husbands female friend!

vik6525

moodykerry wrote: »

Hello,
I do think I will have to meet her, even if it is just the once. I am sure I would know if anything was going on then.I just hope I can give her the benefit of the doubt when I do first meet her. She may well be a lovely person. All that I can say is my hubby does very clearly know how i feel about this now. So his actions from now on should speak volumes. Time will tell.
Thankyou all
Kerry

Hey! Im glad you're feeling better, but. as i said, I think you should ask your hubby for her number, and give her a text or a call asking her out for a drink! If she really is just his friend, shes probably terrified of hurting you, and would more than likey jump at the chance to set the record straight with you..

Bendybops19

Wow, i just read this whole thread! FLIPPIN EK!!!

Moodykerry, i am SO pleased you and your hubby didnt have a big arguement over it. I dont think you over reacted at all, in fact i think you handled it incredibly well!!!!

He sounds like a good bloke I agree about keeping it at a bit if a distance though...meet up ina restaurant or something xxxx

Blink_2

I obviously haven't read the whole thread - I haven't got a spare 4 hours - but I have got the jist of it. I can't quite believe that some people think it is acceptable, married or not, to tell your other half what they can do and who they can be friends with!

I thought a relationship was all about being equals and treating eachother how you would like to be treated?

If I told my boyfriend he couldn't have any female friends, I can imagine the response I would get. And he would get the same if he tried to tell me what to do.

In fact, I would be worried if my boyfriend didn't have any female friends - it would make me wonder why he can't get on with other women and what was wrong with him.

I don't need to keep tabs on my boyfriend because when we go out without eachother, we come home and have a great laugh telling eachother where we have been and who we have seen - it's all about communication.

I'm quite shocked by a lot of the responses to this thread and how insecure a lot of people appear to be in their relationships - especially after years of marriage.

I'm glad it isn't me that has to deal with that.

myke2007

I have had a great 3 hours reading this thread. Many insecure people, some justified some way over the top. Hope all works out well Kerry and to everyone else.

Always use your instincts, but don't let your instincts use you.

black-saturn

None of them are way over the top. If you've ever had it done to you you would know why.

Carmina_Piranha_3

i only read the first page but i think the problem is not that he is friends with a female, but that he flirts with her.

we both have friends of the opposite sex and i see no reason not to. we're even friends with most of our exes. but it's not flirtatious friendship.

Blink_2

black-saturn wrote: »

None of them are way over the top. If you've ever had it done to you you would know why.

You can't let past relationships effect current ones. If you were cheated on in the past, that was an issue with the relationship and with that particular person - not everyone is the same.

Rachie_B

Blink wrote: »

I obviously haven't read the whole thread - I haven't got a spare 4 hours - but I have got the jist of it. I can't quite believe that some people think it is acceptable, married or not, to tell your other half what they can do and who they can be friends with!

I thought a relationship was all about being equals and treating eachother how you would like to be treated?
If I told my boyfriend he couldn't have any female friends, I can imagine the response I would get. And he would get the same if he tried to tell me what to do.

I don't need to keep tabs on my boyfriend because when we go out without eachother, we come home and have a great laugh telling eachother where we have been and who we have seen - it's all about communication.

I'm quite shocked by a lot of the responses to this thread and how insecure a lot of people appear to be in their relationships - especially after years of marriage.

I'm glad it isn't me that has to deal with that.

If you had read all the pages of this thread you will see that its not about "keeping tabs" or "telling your OH what they can / cant do "

its about having mutual respect for each other and not doing something that knowingly hurts / upsets your partner

You would also read that every relationship is different, and many said that whilst opposite sex friends is fine in a marriage flirting etc is NOT !

Others on the other hand said flirting / sharing a bed with an opposite sex friend etc IS fine even within a marriage

It's not about who is right or wrong but whats acceptable to YOU and your situation / circumstances / relationship

Kerry let us know if / when you meet hubbys friend

quietheart

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

i only read the first page but i think the problem is not that he is friends with a female, but that he flirts with her.

Well said, soooo many people on this thread don't seem to have grasped that one!
:T

vik6525

In retrospect, and without a hangover, I think the reason this thread got so heated, is because everyones boundries are different. What I find acceptable is completly different to what others do.. But, and I'll say it over and over, in this case, I genuinely think that Kerry should meet her blokes friend. If shes a 'blokey girl' then the texts will mean absolutly nothing, but if she isnt and if at any point Kerry feels uncomfortable, then I think her gut instinct will be the true one...
(Id also like to point out that the 'bed sharing' thing i was talking about only happens when we're drinking and need somewhere to pass out. Its not like I happily jump into bed with me mates at all times y'know!!!!)