meeting husbands female friend!

westernpromise

I haven't actually schlepped through all 21 pages of this but in what I did read there was no mention of what this "flirting" actually consisted of. Whose interpretation was that? Does old whatsisface agree he's been flirting, or is that the OP's slant on it?

Generally speaking I have always flirted with women by making them laugh. In real life, the best way to do this is to drop my trousers (which also gets sympathy - remember fellas, pathetic isn't necessarily bad), but as this is unlawful in most jurisdictions and frowned on in the workplace, other means are required. Taking the p1ss works quite well and once I've got their attention then matters can proceed. Since this form of flirting is actually quite entertaining, I tend to do it anyway, even if not interested, and this has resulted at least twice in my being propositioned out of the blue by women I had known for ages, flirted with, but hadn't the remotest interest in. Oops. I also have to restrain myself from flirting with the OH's sister, not because I fancy her but because she's so prim it would be irresistibly amusing.

If talking to strangers online, I generally argue with those who identify as men, and I flirt with women, usually by taking the p1ss. It's just the force of years and years of habit, and online, every woman is an impossibly beautiful and mysterious robo-babe. I have one online acquaintance where exactly this sort of exchange goes on with absolutely no thought on either side of doing anything about it. Not least because she lives in Cardiff. How great would it have to be to go to Cardiff for it? Quite.

If he really does flirt, intending to do so, it could be force of habit or it could be suspicious. If the former, he is presumably introducing her to show you it's all innocent. If the latter, he is presumably introducing her to con you into thinking it's all innocent. So you can't read anything into it; it doesn't tell you anything one way or the other.

I keep my online flirting (which is actually pretty infrequent - can't remember the last time) from the missus because she wouldn't get it. If I were cheating I'd keep it from her because she'd get it all too well. Hence I reckon he needs to cut it out because even if it's good clean fun it's fun at your expense which you're entitled to obejct to.

Bogof_Babe

As a red-blooded female of 32 years marriage :eek: , I have of course been attracted to various male colleagues over the years.

I have always without exception found that once I have met the wife, I have far more in common with her, and the basis of a much more rewarding friendship.

I advise the OP to try not to look the least bit worried when she meets her OH's "friend", but to relax, laugh with her, share the experience, and let her know she has a new friend in you. Don't go out of your way to include OH in your conversation, just act natural but be very warm and welcoming.

If there was ever any intention to take things further, I'd put money on the fact that it won't happen once you have "girlie bonded". Blokes are ten a penny after all , but true women friends are worth cultivating and hanging on to!

emmaBZ

if you are not comfortable with him texting her in this manner and he knows you are not happy....then hes wrong for doing it...tell him to stop ......or start texting a bloke you know and give him a taste of his own medicine !!!!!

been there .....my OH used to text my sister flirty texts ... he did used to tell me & let me read the texts but i felt uncomfortable about it and told him to stop and he did.....

Bogof_Babe

Emma, I disagree about "telling" your partner to stop doing anything, unless it is illegal or likely to bankrupt you both.

I just think that they won't like it any more than we would like it if they started laying down the law about what we do, and it will introduce an element of distrust into the relationship.

In my experience, it is much more satisfactory to play along with their game but be smarter. The objective should be for both parties to believe they have reached the same conclusion independently. So no-one feels put down, or has to climb down.

If the OP can subtly make her OH wonder why he was ever tempted (if he actually was) then that is the strongest foundation for the future that she could engineer.

Drunkstar

Wow, I cant belive I am going to cheat on my fiancee if I can get away with it. I never knew what a bad person I was.

Still, most entertaining thread I have seen on a forum in an age. Even if its got some very offensive comments in it.

vik6525

Drunkstar wrote: »

Wow, I cant belive I am going to cheat on my fiancee if I can get away with it. I never knew what a bad person I was.

Still, most entertaining thread I have seen on a forum in an age. Even if its got some very offensive comments in it.

Just curious like (mainly cause ive got a hangover today, so im not gonna argue with anyone!!) but which bits did you find offensive?

Mandles

moodykerry wrote: »

Well from my point of view, my husband never was a 'flirty touchy feely' person, so it isn't the norm, thats why I was worried. If he always had acted like this, it wouldn't of bothered me.

Also I was once told by an old 'flirty touchy feely' friend, that if there is a person they won't flirt with, it is the person they fancy.

I agree with both sides. Im married and if i really find someone very attractive / stunningly handsome i wouldn't talk to them at all(my friend is highly amused at this) but its true. Also it can work the other way flirty touchy can also be fancying someone.
I would be careful and you are wise to go with your instincts .Probably nothing has happened but its possible things could esculate. Lets just hope she looks like Jo Brand on a very bad day and has personality of Vanessa Feltz!
Whens the bar b qu? Im dying to know what happens.

vik6525

I like vanessa feltzs' personality... *runs away and hides in shame*

susan_haruel07

Amanda65 wrote: »

I would make sure I looked absolutely fabulous, engaged my OH in plenty of conversations with other guests and be sooooooo nice to her that the thought of doing anything behind the back of such a lovely person would be hard for her.

deoesnt always work like that hun :eek:

Rachie_B

Mandles wrote: »

I agree with both sides. Im married and if i really find someone very attractive / stunningly handsome i wouldn't talk to them at all(my friend is highly amused at this) but its true. Also it can work the other way flirty touchy can also be fancying someone.
I would be careful and you are wise to go with your instincts .Probably nothing has happened but its possible things could esculate. Lets just hope she looks like Jo Brand on a very bad day and has personality of Vanessa Feltz!
Whens the bar b qu? Im dying to know what happens.

it was cancelled ,kerry did reply a few pages back