meeting husbands female friend!

vik6525

Thats my point!!! if you and i were mates, no one would think anything of it!!!

Labman_2

flower_72 wrote: »

I'm amazed....
Reading this thread has made me realise how different some people/ couples are. I am so glad I have got the freedom to have the friends I wish to have, to text male friends, to call them, to meet up with them or invite them round, to have some flirty banter with them.... all that without being suspected of the worst by my boyfriend.
Today I'm counting myself lucky!

Not 'lucky' girl.....it's called 'normal'!

Zoetoes

I think if the wife/husband is happy/comfortable about it then it isn't a problem, if they're not happy/comfortable about it then it is a problem.

murphy61

But, Flower, the problem is it's a proven biological fact. Men are designed to spread it about, to ensure survival of the species. Women don't have these urges to stray - an outrageous generalisation I know, but true nevertheless. When you get married hopefully you'll understand the value of a warm, loving relationship and how scared people get when that's being threatened. And yes, men can get scared too. Thank God I never have but I've scared my OH in the past without realising it. I am a bit of a flirt but I know when to stop. And that's before anyone gets scared.

Labman_2

zoeleigh wrote: »

I think if the wife/husband is happy/comfortable about it then it isn't a problem, if they're not happy/comfortable about it then it is a problem.

Then I think the wife/husband who is not happy/is uncomfortable, needs to address their problem!....TRUST!

Zoetoes

Labman wrote: »

Then I think the wife/husband who is not happy/is uncomfortable, needs to address their problem!....TRUST!

There would probably be a reason for them being uncomfortable, they might be happy with their OHs friendships with some members of the opposite sex but not others, depends on the situation & behaviour.

I would go with my instincts though.

Labman_2

zoeleigh wrote: »

There would probably be a reason for them being uncomfortable, they might be happy with their OHs friendships with some members of the opposite sex but not others, depends on the situation & behaviour.

I would go with my instincts though.

My instinct is to trust my wife 100% with all guys...?

Zoetoes

Labman wrote: »

My instinct is to trust my wife 100% with all guys...?

Then the situation's always been positive for you, doesn't mean that everyone has to think the same as you.

Sometimes there are reasons for not trusting.

Do you think that people who have 100% trusted their partners have never been cheated on?

Obviously people shouldn't obsess about their OH having friends of the opposite sex but they shouldn't go through the life of their relationship with shades on in the dark either.

liz105

can I just say, getting back to the OP, I work with a great bunch of people (all mid twenties, my age) we are all (4 of us on one set of desks in an office) in very happy, stable, long term relationships, two of which are marriages.

the conversation at work get pretty filthy at times with all the eye winking etc (oh, and all our partners work in the same place so we all know each other) but I would NEVER EVER text, phone or email the two guys I work with outside of work. That to me is TOTALLY out of order, as a previous poster said, texts & phone calls are private, something that should be reserved for your partner (Im married, as is the other girl, the two boys have been with their partners for years), they are also easy to hide. If I were to do that I would feel I was betraying my husband even though he wouldnt even bat an eyelid (probably because the 8 of us are good mates)

If the OP is being upset by any aspect of her husbands behaiviour, be it too much time on the XBox, down the pub too long, or flirty texts he should respect her feelings. In this case he isnt, THATS THE PROBLEM.

MoodyKerry, please come on here soon and tell us whats been going on, have you had the BBQ yet?

Labman_2

zoeleigh wrote: »

Then the situation's always been positive for you, doesn't mean that everyone has to think the same as you.

Sometimes there are reasons for not trusting.

Do you think that people who have 100% trusted their partners have never been cheated on?

Obviously people shouldn't obsess about their OH having friends of the opposite sex but they shouldn't go through the life of their relationship with shades on in the dark either.

Yes, there may be a history & there is perhaps a chance something may be going on...but if there's doubt give your partner the trust & love they deserve....a friend is a friend....male or female.

I know I'm lucky, but I do believe there are partners (male or female) who think the worst with no real reason & maybe they need to stop & think (& perhaps TRUST)...before 'going off on one'.