Help, i dont want to move but my husband really does.

Dunroamin

19lottie82 wrote: »

True. My Mum recently finished treatment for BC and she was told that there were over 30 types/ cocktails of chemo that were prescribed depending on the patient. Some people can hardly get out of bed for the whole period of treatment and others can go bakc to work straight away.

I had a mastectomy and that was it.

lostinrates

Dunroamin wrote: »

I had a mastectomy and that was it.

I think you are very brave, honestly, for me that would leave an emotional want for support. But not one that impacted on my children and grandchildren ( if I had either!). In fact, there is good chance this could put more strain on op's mil.

That's not reason to evade discussion that sounds seriously needed, but.....there are ways to tackle things.

Marisco

Person_one wrote: »

Let's not forget that Liverpool is only a two hour train journey from London, some people commute that distance regularly.

But couldn't that be said to the op as well? If she moves, it's only a couple of hours by train from Liverpool to London as well. So what's the difference? In the op she only said her and the kids don't want to move away from family and friends, no mention that she didn't want to take the lass from school.

Person_one

Marisco wrote: »

But couldn't that be said to the op as well? If she moves, it's only a couple of hours by train from Liverpool to London as well. So what's the difference? In the op she only said her and the kids don't want to move away from family and friends, no mention that she didn't want to take the lass from school.

Their jobs, the schools, their entire social networks?

Marisco

Person_one wrote: »

Their jobs, the schools, their entire social networks?

So what your saying is that no one should ever move from where they were born and brought up?

Person_one

Marisco wrote: »

So what your saying is that no one should ever move from where they were born and brought up?

Not against their will!

Marisco

Person_one wrote: »

Not against their will!

But it wouldn't be against her will, if she point blank refuses to go and won't even consider it, then he can go on his own. It just depends who matters the most to her, him or her family and friends. People move all the time, for a variety of reasons, I've moved twice, on my own, once down South and then up here, I didn't know a soul in either place, and all my family and friends were in Wales. But you soon make a new life for yourself, at least she'll have the benefit of her immediate family with her.

Goldiegirl

I'm just wondering what brought him south in the first place?

Was in originally to find work, or was it a relationship thing?

It's so difficult to make pronouncements on peoples life without knowing all the facts, but my gut reaction is that he's very stressed, and his mum's illness has been the last straw and has pushed him over the edge.

It's only natural to be upset that he's jacked his job in without telling you, personally I'd be livid if my husband did that without telling me!

The only thing I can suggest is that you try and find time to sit down together, when it's quiet and calm to talk about it.

Maybe a compromise could be reached. Perhaps he could do a short term rental while his mum is ill and come back to London at the weekends. If he did that maybe you could vist some weekends to get a feel for the area, to see if you could live there full time?

There's no easy answers, but the main thing is, if you both want to stay together, you'll find the solution together

Person_one

Marisco wrote: »

But it wouldn't be against her will, if she point blank refuses to go and won't even consider it, then he can go on his own. It just depends who matters the most to her, him or her family and friends. People move all the time, for a variety of reasons, I've moved twice, on my own, once down South and then up here, I didn't know a soul in either place, and all my family and friends were in Wales. But you soon make a new life for yourself, at least she'll have the benefit of her immediate family with her.

That's just blatant emotional blackmail.

Its not that black and white, he hasn't been kept prisoner in London, they made a joint decision to live and work there and to raise the children there.

That's all still happening, and he can't expect his wife and children to merrily uproot themselves from where they've always lived and been happy just because he wants them to.

It wouldn't be difficult to arrange things so he can see and support him mum regularly without having to turn it into some bizarre competition where the OP has to make huge pointless sacrifices to prove she loves her husband.

Mojisola

sue_sue wrote: »

My husband has always wanted to move back to liverpool.

I do not want to leave my family, freinds, job.

Person_one wrote: »

Its not that black and white, he hasn't been kept prisoner in London, they made a joint decision to live and work there and to raise the children there.

I know we're making judgments on just a few statements, but that doesn't sound like a joint decision to me.