Help, i dont want to move but my husband really does.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

I know we're making judgments on just a few statements, but that doesn't sound like a joint decision to me.

I can't imagine that she was able to force him to move to London and stay there for years completely against his will.

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

I can't imagine that she was able to force him to move to London and stay there for years completely against his will.

Really? Can't you imagine "Fine, go back to Liverpool but me and the kids are staying here".

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

Really? Can't you imagine "Fine, go back to Liverpool but me and the kids are staying here".

How did he end up in London in the first place then?

I don't really understand this thread, she strongly wishes to stay in London, he strongly wishes to move to Liverpool. Why is she the one who has to justify staying rather than him needing to make a very strong case for change? Why is his desire more important?

Mojisola

Although it's a far from ideal time right now because of the daughter's education, it could be because they've done what she wants for years and now, maybe, she should consider his feelings.

Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

Although it's a far from ideal time right now because of the daughter's education, it could be because they've done what she wants for years and now, maybe, she should consider his feelings.

I don't think I'd consider the feelings of someone who's jacked his job in on a whim, expects me to do the same and doesn't care tuppence about his children's future!

Dunroamin

lostinrates wrote: »

I think you are very brave, honestly, for me that would leave an emotional want for support. But not one that impacted on my children and grandchildren ( if I had either!). In fact, there is good chance this could put more strain on op's mil.

That's not reason to evade discussion that sounds seriously needed, but.....there are ways to tackle things.

I never told my parents - they were retired and didn't need the additional stress.

If I'd had adult children I'd've been horrified if they'd packed up their jobs and moved to be near me; the guilt and the worry about them would have been terribly stressful.

Dunroamin

Marisco wrote: »

But couldn't that be said to the op as well? If she moves, it's only a couple of hours by train from Liverpool to London as well. So what's the difference? In the op she only said her and the kids don't want to move away from family and friends, no mention that she didn't want to take the lass from school.

Even if F&F is the only reason, surely there's a 3 to 1 vote from the family on staying put?

Mojisola

Dunroamin wrote: »

I don't think I'd consider the feelings of someone who's jacked his job in on a whim, expects me to do the same and doesn't care tuppence about his children's future!

Giving up his job without talking it through was very foolish but, if his feelings have never been taken into account throughout their marriage, maybe he realised that was pointless.

It's such a rash thing to do, there has to be a back story which we don't know about.

peachyprice

We could go around in circles for days arguing who is right and who is wrong, however as OP hasn't been back since her first 2 posts yesterday to give further insight into the relationship it's all pretty moot.

Pthree

peachyprice wrote: »

We could go around in circles for days arguing who is right and who is wrong, however as OP hasn't been back since her first 2 posts yesterday to give further insight into the relationship it's all pretty moot.

I agree with the above, but I can only reiterate how hard it can be to be struck with the idea that your parent/s are not invincible. It hit me like a ton of bricks and while my dad is fine now, it made me realise he / they wont be around forever,, and as I have spent most of my adult life away from them, the need to be closer is.... well if I am honest its breaking my heart.

Although............ I do not have my own family to think about which makes a huge difference

While little information has been given I just get the feeling that the OP has told her OH one day, one day we will move there, and now that "one day" has come she is not willing to even consider it.

As I said before quitting his job without telling her sucks but ........ how much can you discuss something when one person seems so unwilling to discuss it. (again only going on the info given).