Help, i dont want to move but my husband really does.

seven-day-weekend

Oh well, so now we know the full story and it was nothing really to do with homesickness nor his mum's illness.

Hope things work out OK.

Sooki

I hope everything works out for you.

One bit of advice - if you haven't done it already Change the locks!

CH27

Are your children able to contact their grandmother directly?

Bogof_Babe

The whole thing sounds decidedly suspect now. I'd put money on him having met his "new" partner previously, online if not in real life.

You're better off without him. So sorry you've had to go through all this to find out the sort of person he is. I hope your children aren't too badly affected .

Good luck with the rest of your life, and I hope you find the happiness you deserve.

peachyprice

I doubt very much he only met her 2 weeks after moving there, I bet he was relieved when you refused to go, if you'd have tagged along behind him it would have put a kybosh on this 'new' relationship, it all sounds very contrived.

And thank goodness you didn't listen to those who though you should uproot your entire family to move to Liverpool, you'd have found yourself royally dumped, in a strange place, with very upset children.

FatVonD

Sounds like your OH thought he'd come up with a perfect equity release scheme. Thank heavens you didn't sell up!

whitewing

I agree that it sounds like he is lying about the timescales.

Reality will strike one day for him.

BitterAndTwisted

The words "a lucky escape" don't really cover it.


Good luck to you, OP.

neverdespairgirl

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Sorry, but I think some of your comments are selfish... YOUR mother in law has cancer. How do you think your husband feels about that? Plus she's been part of your family for at least 18 years but you don't seem moved by it.

You say it's not life-threatening but then mention high survival rates... that all just sounded callous to me.

I don't think it is necessarily callous. Some people deal best with such emergencies by sticking to the facts, as a way of coping and understanding such information.

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I never said anything to my mum at the time but had the results come back positive then I would have had no hesitation in either going parttime or at worst handing in my resignation.

I'm fortunate never to have nursed someone with cancer but speaking to people who have been that unfortunate it seems that the treatment can really knock the stuffing out of you so whilst the cancer may not be life threatening (what does that mean exactly?) I bet the treatment is no bed of roses

That might not have been what your mother would have wanted, though.

I'm speaking from recent experience - my mother was diagnosed with cancer last September, initially a terminal diagnosis, and then (thankfully) with a treatable form of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.

She had chemotherapy every 3 weeks for months, and it was indeed horrible treatment. But she specifically didn't want my Dad to retire, or me or my sisters to give up work. She wanted life to continue in as normal a way as possible, for the whole family.

I did take a few days off when she had chemotherapy - as we (my partner, our 7 year old, and me) live near the hospital. In each case, though, I told my mother clearly it was just a day off. She didn't want everything to change because she was ill.

She specifically didn't want just to be the invalid, for the only thing about her to be the cancer she was suffering from.

Thankfully, in her case, the chemotherapy did work, and she is clear of it, although she'll be having very regular check-ups for a few years to check it isn't returning.

sue_sue_2

Hi all,

Thanks for your support. Maybe he did meet someone before and saw his mums horrible illness as a perfect excuse.

Sooki- the looks were changed the day he moved out. Your comment has got me thinking and the fact the he knows where he lives and knows the house so well- maybe a move (somewhere close) is on the cards !

I was thinking about buying a neighbours house with my sister to let however a tax expert has advised against it and the point above has also put me off.

My son and daughter dont seem to phased to be honest, he never really had time for them anyway. Im in contact with their nan and their aunti so am going to arrange for them to come down when the nan feels up to it or I will go up when I know he's not around.

Thanks everyone