grandparents finding grandchildren difficult

zaksmum

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

It is considered to be good manners.

Of course it is. Like a child standing back to allow an adult to pass through a door ahead of them, or holding a door open for an adult.

My old Nan used to say kids should know their place and while she would have laid down her life for her family, she most certainly didn't pander to kids and bad behaviour was never tolerated.

All of her family adored and respected her absolutely.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

What an offensive think to say to a poster who's always polite and reasonable with everybody.

Except the children she called 'scrotes' and the people who found it offensive?

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

This is of course true but if I you can comment on the situation in the UK, surely a Brit can comment on the situation in another country?

However, if we're talking about cultural norms in a country, you should accept that children standing up for adults on public transport is the norm in the UK, whether you agree with it or not.

Its not the norm in my experience, I'd always let a child under about 12 have a seat ahead of me, and I see plenty of adults doing the same.

ognum

this thread is an excellent indication as to how people cannot agree on the way children behave.

It is clear that it is nothing to do with if it's a grandchild or a strangers child we all have our own opinions on raising children.

maybe the reason why some people believe grandparents are intolerant of their children's behaviour is simply because the grandparents feel they can say what they think, strangers say nothing!

I still maintain that many children are well parented and as grandparent we are here to support our kids with their kids as best we can.

Dunroamin

candygirl wrote: »

If my Grandbabies stood up for random , not old or disabled adults, they would be crushed!!!:eek::eek:
Otherwise, they both have fabulous manners and social skills:D:D

I don't think anyone expects babies to stand up for adults!

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Except the children she called 'scrotes' and the people who found it offensive?

I personally don't think it is any more offensive than 'cheeky monkey' (a phrase which I happen to dislike) and in fact I didn't know it meant scrotum, which is why I spelt it 'scroat' However, for the sake of harmony, I will not use the word again.

It appears times have changed and children are no longer expected to give up their seats for adults.

Is this because the position of children in the family has changed? Because many appear to rule the roost and are the absolute centre of everything, with all the family doing their bidding. They are no longer allowed (by the parents) to have any sanction, such as detention, at school either, in many cases. The parents don't believe that their little Johnny or Janey can possibly behave in a manner warranting it. It just leads to 'rights without responsibilities' and disrespectful adults, imho

bestpud

My children would give up their seat if someone needs it more than they do.

Rightly or wrongly I have a huge issue with the idea that turning 18 makes someone automatically worthy of my child's respect.

For me that is separate from manners.

They say please and thank you to everyone, hold open a door for anyone and give up a seat for anyone in more need of it - that is good manners and good citizenship.

Forcing them to respect random adults, just because, is something else entirely.

I certainly don't think they should obey and adult just because either - recipe for disaster that as some are not worthy of respect and definitely should not be obeyed.

Mado

Dunroamin wrote: »

But that's surely the point of what some of us have been saying, children are less well behaved than they used to be and the standard of manners have dropped dramatically.

That's not a sign of worse behaviour in itself:wall:
To me, the worse behaved folks are the ones who put their shopping on the seats and don't make any attempt to move it as the carriage/bus gets busy, or all the folks who leave their papers all over the seats when they get out of a train; I can assure you that it isn't the children doing so.
For one last time i will ask: Would someone please explain to me why a 7 year old should stand so that a 25 year old can sit?
And why, oh why, are children apparently better behaved in countries where adults do give their seats to them?

bestpud wrote: »

My children would give up their seat if someone needs it more than they do.

Rightly or wrongly I have a huge issue with the idea that turning 18 makes someone automatically worthy of my child's respect.

For me that is separate from manners.

They say please and thank you to everyone, hold open a door for anyone and give up a seat for anyone in more need of it - that is good manners and good citizenship.

Forcing them to respect random adults, just because, is something else entirely.

I certainly don't think they should obey and adult just because either - recipe girls disaster that as some are not worthy of respect and definitely should not be obeyed.

:T
Precisely!!!!!

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Its not the norm in my experience, I'd always let a child under about 12 have a seat ahead of me, and I see plenty of adults doing the same.

I'd give my seat to someone with a baby or a toddler and would have no objection if they put the toddler in the seat rather than sitting them on their lap (although I might think it a bit odd). However, the idea that adults should give up their seats to kids of 11 or 12 is one of the most ridiculous I've ever heard.

Dunroamin

Mado wrote: »

That's not a sign of worse behaviour in itself:wall:
To me, the worse behaved folks are the ones who put their shopping on the seats and don't make any attempt to move it as the carriage/bus gets busy, or all the folks who leave their papers all over the seats when they get out of a train; I can assure you that it isn't the children doing so.
!

It may not be a sign but it is symptomatic.

Children may not leave papers all over the seats but they certainly leave plenty of cans and sweet wrappers and can be as loath to move their school bag from an empty seat as any adult.