grandparents finding grandchildren difficult

bestpud

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'd give my seat to someone with a baby or a toddler and would have no objection if they put the toddler in the seat rather than sitting them on their lap (although I might think it a bit odd). However, the idea that adults should give up their seats to kids of 11 or 12 is one of the most ridiculous I've ever heard.

I do not think adults should give up their seat for a child of that age either.

I also think it good manners for parents to put children on their lap if they are able.

If someone has more than one child then I would give one of the children a seat if the adult would be unable to help steady them or help if they fell because they have smaller children in their lap or are trying to manage 2 or more standing children. I don't think it unreasonable for them to have one child on their lap and another stood in the seat area with them if there is space.

It's simply based on need for me.

I do not think a healthy adult has any more right to a seat than a healthy child who is tall and steady enough to safely stand. First come first served in that case as far as I am concerned.

seven-day-weekend

I always leave my newspaper on a train, in case the next person wants to read it. I do fold it up neatly though.

On the bus, there is no way I will be giving up my seat to a healthy twelve-year-old. Absolutely no way. I would give it up to a frail, elderly person, or someone with a disability, or a pregnant woman, or someone with several children so that the adult can manage them better.

I am a Pensioner myself (albeit fit and healthy), and you are telling me a twelve year old should have my seat? Really? or even a seven-year old for that matter.

Beggars belief.

Mado

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

On the bus, there is no way I will be giving up my seat to a healthy twelve-year-old. Absolutely no way. I would give it up to a frail, elderly person, or someone with a disability, or a pregnant woman, or someone with several children so that the adult can manage them better.

I am a Pensioner myself (albeit fit and healthy), and you are telling me a twelve year old should have my seat? Really? or even a seven-year old for that matter.

Beggars belief.

Please quote any post that says that a pensioner should give up their seat for a 12 years old.
Nobody has said any such thing. :wall:
I think you and dunroamin are determined to put words in other people's posts.

seven-day-weekend

Mado wrote: »

Please quote any post that says that a pensioner should give up their seat for a 12 years old.
Nobody has said any such thing. :wall:
I think you and dunroamin are determined to put words in other people's posts.

But you think it is OK for a twelve year old to remain seating whilst a pensioner stands?

Because you said earlier that did not see why they should give up their seat. You (or maybe another poster) said children could not 'stand easily' (whatever that means), and that is why they need to sit down.

FYI, I DID give up my seat last week, to a frail old man with a stick. So if I can do it, why not a twelve-year old. (There were children who remained sitting whilst I gave up my seat).

Shepherd1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But you think it is OK for a twelve year old to remain seating whilst a pensioner stands?

Because you said earlier that did not see why they should give up their seat. You (or maybe another poster) said children could not 'stand easily' (whatever that means), and that is why they need to sit down.

FYI, I DID give up my seat last week, to a frail old man with a stick. So if I can do it, why not a twelve-year old. (There were children who remained sitting whilst I gave up my seat).

Do you even read the posts. I said children find it more difficult to balance not to stand.

It has also been said many times that children should give up their seats to the elderly or disabled but not just for random adults. You said yourself you are fit and healthy so why do you expect a child to give you a seat?

seven-day-weekend

Shepherd1 wrote: »

Do you even read the posts. I said children find it more difficult to balance not to stand.

It has also been said many times that children should give up their seats to the elderly or disabled but not just for random adults. You said yourself you are fit and healthy so why do you expect a child to give you a seat?

Because I am an adult and a senior and it is good manners. And I don't think children, once they are out of the toddler stage, find it difficult to balance, unless they have a disability.

We're going round in circles here.

sedment

There is a lot of differences concerning parenting and manners. Personally im aware that my children are my children and not my friends, and I if I am telling them to behave, hold my hand dont run off etc I want them to do it. Its not up for negotiation. But on the other hand if they do what is asked of them, I tell them im glad they helped, held my hand, whatever. But as well, today for example, my 6 year old son held the door open for a pensioner without being prompted to do so, and 6 or 7 adults came through the door without saying "thank you". Everyone needs manners!!

Mojisola

bestpud wrote: »

Rightly or wrongly I have a huge issue with the idea that turning 18 makes someone automatically worthy of my child's respect.

For me that is separate from manners.

They say please and thank you to everyone, hold open a door for anyone and give up a seat for anyone in more need of it - that is good manners and good citizenship.

Forcing them to respect random adults, just because, is something else entirely.

I certainly don't think they should obey and adult just because either - recipe for disaster that as some are not worthy of respect and definitely should not be obeyed.

There just isn't the opportunity for most people we come across in daily life to prove to us whether they are worthy of our respect or not!

I taught my kids that they should treat everyone (not just people over 18) with respect. If someone they have regular contact with shows themselves not worthy of their respect, that changes things.

Showing respect for a stranger does not mean they should "obey" them! It's a proactive thing - "Would you like my seat?" that is entirely in the hands of the offerer.

A stranger saying "Mummy said you have to get into my car and you have to do what I said because I'm a grown-up" has nothing to do with politeness or respect and shouldn't be treated with either. That is a case of a stranger proving they are not worthy of respect.

Mado

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But you think it is OK for a twelve year old to remain seating whilst a pensioner stands?

Because you said earlier that did not see why they should give up their seat. You (or maybe another poster) said children could not 'stand easily' (whatever that means), and that is why they need to sit down.

FYI, I DID give up my seat last week, to a frail old man with a stick. So if I can do it, why not a twelve-year old. (There were children who remained sitting whilst I gave up my seat).

Well done you.
A small child cannot hold on easily.

I've never stated anything about a 12 years and I have stated quite clearly that I expect anyone to give up their seat for someone with greater needs than them and would make my children give up their seat if they didn't do it by themselves.

ognum

Gosh what a waste of energy this thread has become, now you are like children arguing for the sake of it and showing no respect for each other.

Please consider the effect this type of behaviour has on children, your absolute determination to appear on the top of the arguements would really have a detrimental effect.

can you not stand back and reflect that it is OK for others to have different opinion, it is just that an opinion and keeping on and on does not make your opinion more valid it's still an opinion.

Deep breathe relax and enjoy your families, children and grandchildren.