grandparents finding grandchildren difficult

Torry_Quine

Dunroamin wrote: »

So, big family gathering with a limited number of chairs, who sits on the chairs and who has the cushions on the floor?

The adults by seniority get the chairs and children and any adults who want to sit on the cushions.

bestpud

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The parents would stand and they would probably eat only 'kiddie' food, because that's what little Johnnie wants.

The food would be to the taste of the host or the person celebrating something.

If it was one of the kids birthdays then yes, it would be kiddie food.

bestpud

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm genuinely interested to know if you were brought up as a child to stand for adults and if so why you decided not to tell your children the same?

Yes I was.

I was taught to do as adults said, never to question a decision and that a child must be the one lying if they disagree with an adult.

I learnt the hard way some adults do not deserve respect, or even the time of day in some cases.

I do not think adults are more worthy because they have reached the age of 18. I believe we should all earn respect and superiority and have taught my children to think of others and be kind and considerate to everyone rather than bow down to adults just because.

I genuinely see no reason whatsoever for a child to give up a seat for an able bodied adult. I don't expect it and I find it arrogant if I'm honest.

Good manners are very important, looking out for others is very important and being a good citizen is very important to me.

Boosting the ego of adults with too large a sense of self-importance and entitlement is not important to me.

That's how it is for me. I find it strange to be so opposed to posters I usually see eye to eye with but there you go.

Dunroamin

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The parents would stand and they would probably eat only 'kiddie' food, because that's what little Johnnie wants.

Probably with the parents waiting on them hand and foot!

bestpud

Dunroamin wrote: »

Probably with the parents waiting on them hand and foot!

No, they get their own food and drink if they want it.

Only the infirm get waitress service at our get-togethers!

Nicki

I would expect my 12 year old son definitely to get up and offer his seat on the bus or tube to an adult. Not so when he was a good deal younger though, and I certainly don't expect my three year old to do so.

I personally find it hard to stand on a bus or tube if I am not able to hang on to either the central pole or an overhead rail. If the bus or tube is so busy that people are standing, then it is rare for there to be access to the central pole, so in those circumstances I did not expect my children to stand until they were tall enough to reach the overhead rails. If they were small enough they would sit on my knee, but if not, then they stayed in their seats. If I spotted someone old, disabled or pregnant, then I would offer my seat but my child would remain seated.

With my DD who is 11, she has severe learning difficulties and one of her issues is a terrible sense of balance. This is immediately apparent to anyone who sees her getting on to a bus or tube, so she is always offered a seat by an adult if there are no free seats available. And this is always followed up about 30 seconds later by me being offered the seat next to her, as her disabilities are so pronounced that no one wants to sit beside her either . Any fit and healthy adult expecting her to get up and give them her seat because she has not paid a full fare would get short shrift from me I am afraid. (In fact she has a freedom pass so doesn't pay a fare at all!)

My three year old stays in his pushchair in the well throughout bus journeys and would sit on a seat on the tube as I never take my pushchair on the underground. That enrages some of those who have already posted on this thread, who have said elsewhere that pushchairs should always be folded away on the bus and are now saying that children should stand if there are not enough seats. Quite how they expect a 2 or 3 year old child to stand on a moving bus, whilst their parent holds on to their folded pushchair plus their own bags (so doesn't have a hand to hold them steady!) I have no idea...

Torry_Quine

bestpud wrote: »

Yes I was.

I was taught to do as adults said, never to question a decision and that a child must be the one lying if they disagree with an adult.

I learnt the hard way some adults do not deserve respect, or even the time of day in some cases.

I do not think adults are more worthy because they have reached the age of 18. I believe we should all earn respect and superiority and have taught my children to think of others and be kind and considerate to everyone rather than bow down to adults just because.

I genuinely see no reason whatsoever for a child to give up a seat for an able bodied adult. I don't expect it and I find it arrogant if I'm honest.

Good manners are very important, looking out for others is very important and being a good citizen is very important to me.

Boosting the ego of adults with too large a sense of self-importance and entitlement is not important to me.

That's how it is for me. I find it strange to be so opposed to posters I usually see eye to eye with but there you go.

Thanks for your considered response.

I wasn't brought up to never question an adult and shocked that you were told that the adult is right and the child is the one lying. :eek: I can see though why that would make you question what some of us consider as automatic good manners.

I was brought up to believe everyone's views were worth hearing and that is how I try to live my life.

I don't think it arrogant of adults to think a child should stand up for them or about boosting egos or self-importance.

FBaby

I still don't understand the rationale behind a child not offering his seat to a seemingly healthy and without more need to seat down than him being rude. I don't understand what makes an adult more worthy and definitely don't understand the message it is supposed to give.

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

So, big family gathering with a limited number of chairs, who sits on the chairs and who has the cushions on the floor?

That's what emergency chairs are for!

When I'm with toddlers I tend to spend most of the time on the floor voluntarily. Shockingly, some people actually like the children they know. Some of us also like having an excuse to play with duplo and playdoh...

thorsoak

I was in London yesterday, and this thread came to mind when I was on the circle tube from Tower Hill to Ken High Street.

I had to stand at first - not particularly bothered about that because I commuted for far more years than I wish to remember - but at Blackfriars I was offered one of the "priviledge" seats by a healthy looking young man - thanked him nicely and ruefully accepted that now I probably do look to be almost 70. I would add that of the other 5 occupiers of the priviledge seats in that part of the carriage, 3 were elderly, 1 was obviously pregnant and one young girl who was occupied with her Ipod. At Victoria, on the still crowded train, a very pregnant lady with a boy of about 4 or 5 got on the train. Ipod player was still occupied with her music - so I got up and offered her my seat. She thanked me ....and then sat the boy down :eek: At the next stop, one of the oldies got up - and preggie lady sat down. Me ? I stood until Ken High Street - where Miss Music also got off!!! Mum and boy still sitting there

PS - going home, I got a seat straight away - and kept my bum on seat until I got off at Tower Hill