Unplanned Pregnancy - need advice.

jozshi

Don't worry!! Like some others on here, we too had a planned pregnancy (bubba nearly 6 weeks old now), but I was still saying "I can't believe we're actually going to have a baby!" when the contractions were 2 minutes apart!!!

I really enjoyed the pregnancy though and was very fortunate to have almost nothing in the way of symptoms (apart from a lovely neat bump ) And even then I never got my head round it really...in fact sometimes now I walk into the room when the baby's in his cot and still feel a tad surprised to see him there - maybe I'm actually going mad!?!?

Dormouse

It's only natural to feel the way you do, OP.

The decision to have a child has got to be the biggest, most important decision in your life - of course you're going to have doubts. I think every pregnant woman/couple will have doubts at one stage or another - some bigger ones, some smaller ones. It's only natural.

I'm a mum to a 3-year-old and expecting my second one - both planned pregnancies in a happy relationship. I'm happy to be pregnant but believe me, I have moments when I think, "OMG what have we done!!!"

You'll be fine.

MascaraMinx

Hi Ange,

I've just read all this thread with interest because I am in the exact same position. I found out in early March that I was 7 weeks pregnant. I had been married less than a year, I am 29 OH is 32. I had just started a brand new job/ career and we had just moved to a new house with a massive mortgage. So it really didn't come at the right time. I cried for 2 days and did 3 tests just to be sure. It's not that I never wanted children, just that we'd always said we'd wait 3 or 4 years as we wanted to spend money travelling and improving our property etc.

I am now 14 weeks pregnant, due on Halloween, and we are both very happy. It took a while to come to terms with it but we're finally there. It's still not ideal - we are going to be skint and I am going insane trying to find an affordable child minder/ nursery for afterwards, but it's all become secondary now we are used to it. I think having the dating scan changed me completely, when I could see that it was a real person moving about inside me waving it's arms and I could see it's face. I'm sorry if anyone's reading this who made a different decision in the same circumstances, I'm not judging, I'm just trying to explain how I feel.

It may be that you don't come round to feeling like I do but I just wanted to share in case it helps. Please PM me if you need to talk. Good luck and make the most of the counselling available.

dollydoodah

You are in no way abnormal for the feelings you were having.

I was 26 weeks pregnant with my first child when I found out. I was 25, still having periods, just putting on weight and feeling ill. When they did a scan (as they thought I had a cyst) and I was told I was having a baby, I cried solidly for about 3 weeks. I was gutted. Although I wouldn't have had an abortion, I didn't want a baby.

I can honestly say it took me until he was born to get used to it. My colleagues at work were really worried about me as I was never maternal, but they came to see me after I'd had him and were surprised at how I was.

He is 8 now and I also have a 2 year old, with a stillborn angel inbetween, and although being a mum changes your life, you will adapt. It isn't easy by any stretch, but give yourself time to get used to the idea. You'll probably find that once you have had the scan and the movements start you'll start to feel more maternal and more 'pregnant.'

Hope it all goes well.

xx

Eels100

Hi again beakerange. I want to second September Baby's words, they're much more succinct than I could manage!

It took me months to feel happy - you just have to ride out the first patch and give yourself some slack. Don't beat yourself up about not being an instant mother - I'm over 6 months gone now and if asked I still don't like babies or children! I'm accepting of this wriggly little shock now, but I wouldn't say I had bonded with my bump. It just gets in the way at the moment

Be good to yourself, it will get easier x