Grandparents looking after grandchildren

notanewuser

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Ahh ok then, I am in the north and not many of the people around here are on those sorts of incomes, but with a cheaper cost of living and cheaper houses most mums are SAHM or part time only and probably live the same sort of lifestyles ironically.

Ali x

Reading your other posts, perhaps not quite as affluent-although many have lovely houses/fancy kitchens/holidays etc without having a higher rate tax payer in the house.

They are all up north too. 2 BILs are higher rate tax payers (one in sales, one does on call which means long hours but lots of dosh). All have company cars etc.

They've both borrowed huge amounts (£40-50k each) from DH's parents to buy their houses, and made zero attempt to pay anything back. But they've bought everything new to furnish them, had holidays etc. It's a proper full on p1ss take but I think DH's dad is quite happy with the situation because it keeps them dependent.

sedment

Its ridiculous, they may have brought up four boys but that was thirty odd years ago!! The grandparents may have the enthusiasim to do this now, but when the minibus costs £100s a week to do the pick ups and drop offs, and they cant have holidays and doctors appointments without trailing round a gaggle of under fives, grandchildren or not, they might tire quickly!!
I have two under six year olds and its hard work for me in my thirties, never mind two pensioners. Very kind to offer their services, but i would say "no thanks, we have found a fab childminder/nursery" and we will see you at the weekend.

Marisco

notanewuser wrote: »

They are all up north too. 2 BILs are higher rate tax payers (one in sales, one does on call which means long hours but lots of dosh). All have company cars etc.

They've both borrowed huge amounts (£40-50k each) from DH's parents to buy their houses, and made zero attempt to pay anything back. But they've bought everything new to furnish them, had holidays etc. It's a proper full on p1ss take but I think DH's dad is quite happy with the situation because it keeps them dependent.

Ah, things are making a bit more sense now!

notanewuser

DH has just spoken to his parents. The minibus/people carrier subject came up and, when DH asked "you're not really going to have all 5, are you?" the reply was "yes. They are not going to nursery after that little one died the other month". DH pointed out that while totally tragic and unavoidable, there are several hundred thousand children in nurseries across the land surviving perfectly well. Fell on deaf ears.

Mojisola

notanewuser wrote: »

DH has just spoken to his parents. The minibus/people carrier subject came up and, when DH asked "you're not really going to have all 5, are you?" the reply was "yes. They are not going to nursery after that little one died the other month". DH pointed out that while totally tragic and unavoidable, there are several hundred thousand children in nurseries across the land surviving perfectly well. Fell on deaf ears.

Have they compared that to the number of deaths and injuries on the roads? Or the children who have died or been injured at home?

notanewuser

Mojisola wrote: »

Have they compared that to the number of deaths and injuries on the roads? Or the children who have died or been injured at home?

I know, I know. There's no reasoning with them.

I just fear there will be a horrific accident somewhere because they all thought this was a brilliant idea.

(DH pointed out that 2 registered childminders wouldn't be allowed this number of under 2s - FIL said "we aren't childminders, we're grandparents". It's like flogging a dead horse.

Bennifred

It might be quite enlightening to compare the statistics for small children coming to harm whilst in the care of grandparents with those coming to harm whilst in the care of childminders/nurseries. (For the information of the parents - the grandparents would probably dismiss them)

onlyroz

notanewuser wrote: »

DH has just spoken to his parents. The minibus/people carrier subject came up and, when DH asked "you're not really going to have all 5, are you?" the reply was "yes. They are not going to nursery after that little one died the other month". DH pointed out that while totally tragic and unavoidable, there are several hundred thousand children in nurseries across the land surviving perfectly well. Fell on deaf ears.

The child who died in the nursery will undoubtedly have been under better supervision than these grandchildren will be with their grandparents. Accidents and tragedy can happen anywhere and I wouldn't like my chances with a minibus full of toddlers being driven hundreds of miles each day by tired pensioners.

Dumbe

I have read every post, and while I can see the point of view the with the distance which may be tiring, but presumable they do that distance already wor at least 3 quarters of it? So are aware of what it would entail.. But I do see that point..but plenty do that distance it does depend on someone's fitness etc..

But I actually when I first read it thought of a lot of positive and was surprised at all the negatives as I thought overall it was a great idea and really good of the gps to be willing to do it.

The kids will have an opportunity to be really close to their cousins and grow up with them and have a great relationship with their gp's

The grandparent route is a traditional idea and these gp's are NOT even at retirement age .. Also I think it depends on the mentality of the careers not numerical age of someone and their health vitality etc..some 70 year olds have more energy then for example a 30yr old who smokes drinks and gets no exercise


My sil has her 4 kids at her parents full time and it works really well plus she has two from her sil friends kids ( friend grew up next door and best friend of sil) for 3 days as well .. 2 are under 1.

They say goodbye to kids in the evening and go out for dinner, to the theatre, to the gym .. Go to watch the kids ( older one) on the weekend etc, go for hikes in the bush , go away on city breaks about every 8 weeks ( for the weekend) etc...

Mil is 70 .. And she is far from worn out .. I think she thrives on being busy and has loads of energy ! Fil sometimes get a bit tired but not more then anyone else does!

jellyhead

I wouldn't worry about grandparents having my children, but I would worry about the length of time sat in a car, and as all of the parents will need to get to work on time it would mean saying goodbye to the child earlier than would be necessary if their childcare was local. If I was going to work 5 days a week I'd want to see my child for as long as I could on those 5 days - have one or two meals with them, see them before they fell asleep for the night etc.