Grandparents looking after grandchildren

glitter_fairy

notanewuser wrote: »

They'll all sleep in prams/buggies. DH's parents don't take either child to any play groups or swimming etc. (My 16 month old niece had never seen bubbles before my daughter's birthday party!!). I don't think there are any parks near them but they do walk them to the shops at nap time.

FIL hasn't much experience of childcare at all - he has, I believe, changed 2 nappies in the past 37 years. He wants them all walking at 8 months, talking at 12 and potty trained by 18 months else he thinks they are "behind". I seriously question whether his memories of his own 4 sons' infanthood are in any way accurate at all.

Both toddlers will sit on the floor and play with whatever they are given - whereas my daughter is a climbing, exploring monkey (and has always been). FIL thinks our daughter is a "child genius" because she does things the others aren't encouraged or allowed to think about doing. It saddens me, to be honest.

You're right that the others need to come to a solution themselves. But I can't help but worry what might happen if they attempt this harebrained scheme.

It must be hard these are your nieces and nefews who Im sure you love very much.

The SIL who wanted you to say something why dont you show her this post?

findingmyownway

The more I read, the more I think this is nothing to do with being brow beaten by the grandparents and everything to do with getting free childcare.

It's a shame because it is the children who will suffer (with the commute longer than an adult would think sensible, and missing out on the quality adult time they would get with mum / an expert at a nursey) but if the parents prioritise money over welfare then there is not much the OP can do about it.

Fire_Fox

notanewuser wrote: »

Amazingly, not one of the next 3 grandchildren was planned (but they are all very much wanted).

So six adults are incapable of using effective contraception, and six adults are incapable of making their parenting decisions known to the grandparents? Good grief.

notanewuser wrote: »

Have sent them info, but to be honest I don't think they really want to pay for childcare if they can help it.

:rotfl: So do all the parents want their little darlings to be looked after by the grandparents and not the other kids? Or do they have some other genius plan?

mysk_girl

notanewuser wrote: »

Have sent them info, but to be honest I don't think they really want to pay for childcare if they can help it.

Goodness me, I don't particularly enjoy handing over half my salary every month either, but it pays for dedicated, registered professionals to encourage and nurture my children! I'm lucky enough to have a fabulous childminder and I also use a really good preschool. Both my kids are active and inquisitive. Neither were potty trained by 18 months however...

notanewuser

Fire_Fox wrote: »

So six adults are incapable of using effective contraception, and six adults are incapable of making their parenting decisions known to the grandparents? Good grief.



:rotfl: So do all the parents want their little darlings to be looked after by the grandparents and not the other kids? Or do they have some other genius plan?

In fairness, one SIL has problems conceiving and only managed to via IVF the first time. She was expecting to struggle and need IVF the second time.

The others are pretty foolish though.

I don't know what anyone is thinking - it's utter insanity.

Ames

How early are they going to have to get up to collect all the kids before work start time? And which kids are going to be picked up first and stuck in the minibus for hours in the early morning? Which'll mean the parents handing them over a couple (or more) hours earlier than necessary, and missing out on time with them - possibly having to get up early?

Maybe the parents need to think about how much this 'free childcare' will impact on their own lives?

Addiscomber

I wouldn't want to take on so much child caring but each to their own.

However whatever is going to happen to all this driving when the weather is bad with snow and ice?

paddy's_mum

What a pity that there isn't enough love in the hearts of the sons to put the welfare of their children first.

Abbafan1972

Have to say I've read some ridiculous things on these forums before, but this one really takes the biscuit!

The parents are so selfish and obsessed with saving money that they are putting this before their own children's welfare.

These arrangements are going the cause the kids, parents and grandparents to be shattered the whole time and in time will have an impact on their health. I thought it was bad getting my 2 kids out of bed twice a week at 6.30am to get them to breakfast club for 7.30, so I could get the bus to work for 8.30!

My parents have helped and still do help out with childcare if I'm stuck, but they live 3 miles down the road. I just don't see how this can work!

I would just let them get on with it and when it all goes t*ts up, you will know that you were right.

ALIBOBSY

notanewuser wrote: »

Pretty sure 2 out of 3 of them won't qualify for any tax credits because their income will be too high (even if the mums don't go back full time). Think that's part of the issue.

Ahh ok then, I am in the north and not many of the people around here are on those sorts of incomes, but with a cheaper cost of living and cheaper houses most mums are SAHM or part time only and probably live the same sort of lifestyles ironically.

Ali x

Reading your other posts, perhaps not quite as affluent-although many have lovely houses/fancy kitchens/holidays etc without having a higher rate tax payer in the house.