Grandparents looking after grandchildren

marisco_2

notanewuser wrote: »

But now all 3 of the brothers up there are expecting next year - 1 in January, 1 in March and 1 in June. My SIL's relatives have said that they won't look after 2 under 2, leaving them stuck.

DH's parents (62 and 60) are insisting on having all of the children full time. Assuming each of the mums has 6 months off that will leave them with a 24 month old, a 20 month old, a 6 month old, then 2 months later another 6 month old, and then 2 months later another 6 month old, and travelling 150 miles/3 hours each day doing pick ups and drop offs.

They don't want anybody using childminders or nurseries.

I cannot see any way that this could possibly work well for anybody. How on earth do we get this across to DH's parents?

Give it time. The reality of looking after so many young kids at once and doing that amount of travelling will soon hit home. It is lovely of them to want to help out so much but unrealistic long term. The parents of each set of kids, needs to have a back up plan in place regarding childcare, for when the day comes that they cant rely on them so much.

barbiedoll

Scorpio33 wrote: »

After much deliberation, we decided it would be better to have childcare as near to home as possible, simply as if there were any issues (illness etc), then someone will be with baby most of the time, and they wouldn't be stuck in a car for 30 mins with no one able to help. Similarly if there were any traffic issues, then baby would not bne stuck in a car for long periods. On top of that, if my wife and I had time off at the same time, we can walk to the nursery to drop baby off and enjoy our time off together, rather than and hour round trip twice a day on our days off.

Would you not rather be at home with your baby when you have time off together? My friend used to book her annual leave during the school holidays so that she didn't have to be at home with her child. Whenever I had time off from work, I always kept my child at home with me (not off school, obviously), unless I was ill or working from home. I missed my kid when I was at work and I hated having to go to work and leave him anyway! Or is that just me?

Mojisola

jackyann wrote: »

The only other suggestion I have is to ask "have you done a dummy run at the exact times?". I care for a relative one day a week - on those days the journey takes me 90 minutes instead of the Sunday afternoon 60.

This is a very good idea. Even if they do it without actually picking up any children, it will show them what the journey will be like. Suggest they do it morning and evening so they can see it at both ends of the day and can feel the effects of the journey on themselves.

smudger1946

I'm a parent not a g/parent yet and never want to be, I am 60+ and wouldn't want and wont ever be lumbered with g/children, if my nippers have them they can look after them as we did, I would have them for a short time emergency, but not like my neighbours take em to school pick em up from school everyday, not a chance, they couldn't pay me enough.
Smudge