Finding That Special Person

On_My_Lonesome

Another one here that doesn't believe in fate.

I have difficulty meeting new people, all mates married/loved up and don't really go out much apart from with their other halves and all their other halves mates also married/loved up. I'm based from home with work so don't get to meet people that way either.

It is difficult to meet people full stop hence why I am on here on a Friday night rather than cuddled up with someone or having a nice meal.

miss_independent

VestanPance wrote: »

I think if anything it's classic why folk have trouble meeting others they could be compatible with behaviour.

Shy guys, and while I get labelled the tall quiet type nobody has ever described me as shy, don't ask folk out for a fear of failure or embarrassment. Often the fact their interaction with women at a romantic level has been limited means they build up some sort of mental block that you need some sort of technique or special power to successfully ask a girl out.

Although I must admit I did chuckle when I was reading your list of activities as while reading I was thinking there ain't going to be many single straight guys at that. Mind you the things those guys will do probably have even fewer single straight females about. I do think in general though guys do tend to be less social in terms of going groups or clubs in the hope of meeting someone. In my experience most guys have hobbies that tend to be just for them, or if they join a club it's often for competition/sporting orientated.

It's no wonder both sides wonder where all the good singles of the other sex are!

Yes...I don't have the social life I do with the sole aim of meeting men...it's what I do for me.

I'm very feminine so I can't think of a male type hobby I could join that I would actually enjoy. And at any rate, I'd probably want to take a female friend because I'd get intimidated!

Maybe I should re-join the gym...

LaineyR

I was so fed up of being single, working 12 hour shifts, being the odd one out at meals with friends and realising that no-one was going to appear when I least expected it, so I sat down on New Years Eve 8 years ago with a large glass of red and joined a dating site. I hated the idea but couldn't see any other way being the very wrong side of 30. I met my OH within 2 weeks, not MSE at all as I'd taken out a year's subscription!

On_My_Lonesome

miss_independent wrote: »

Yes...I don't have the social life I do with the sole aim of meeting men...it's what I do for me.

I'm very feminine so I can't think of a male type hobby I could join that I would actually enjoy. And at any rate, I'd probably want to take a female friend because I'd get intimidated!

Maybe I should re-join the gym...

I joined the gym as well and have even been going :rotfl::rotfl:no decent men there unfortunately and even if there was I don't look my best after an hour on a treadmill

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

Yes...I don't have the social life I do with the sole aim of meeting men...it's what I do for me.

I'm very feminine so I can't think of a male type hobby I could join that I would actually enjoy. And at any rate, I'd probably want to take a female friend because I'd get intimidated!

Maybe I should re-join the gym...

I think what your doing is perfectly normal.

My own thoughts are the singles more often than not indulge in the activities coupled up people do when they have a free evening to themselves. You know the guys doing laddish things they know the mrs wouldn't enjoy and the women doing girly things the they know himself would moan about.

The only problem with that is both groups are then unlikely to just happen across each other. It was like a friends sister who a few years ago talked about signing up for a salsa class and maybe she'd meet a man there. It could happen, but in reality how many straight single men do you honestly think sign up for salsa classes? Some will sure, but that's going to be a very small number.

I always did think any single lad wanting to have women fighting over him should sign up for a zumba class. Talk about lack of competition!

VestanPance

On_My_Lonesome wrote: »

I joined the gym as well and have even been going :rotfl::rotfl:no decent men there unfortunately and even if there was I don't look my best after an hour on a treadmill

I don't do gyms, but I run and cycle a lot. I can tell you this, women runners are very attractive. You probably think you're a mess. I'll bet there are at least a couple of guys there perving at you!

I never did think gyms would be a good place to meet. I never thought of them being particularly social. A running or cycling club, would be far more social if meeting someone while getting fit was an objective.

miss_independent

On_My_Lonesome wrote: »

I joined the gym as well and have even been going :rotfl::rotfl:no decent men there unfortunately and even if there was I don't look my best after an hour on a treadmill

There are lots of gorgeous men at my local gym because it's a full sports centre and lots of guys get together to play 5 a side football. I think the key is to do something light and non appearance disturbing like a yoga class.......not Bikram obviously, gosh the SWEAT! Honestly, I've never had as many gorgeous men checking me out as when I was walking down the corridor with my pink yoga mat under my arm, no makeup and hair in a ponytail?! Shame at that point I actually was only interested in getting fit :rotfl:

But seriously, you only need to see the same guy a few times before you can start up a conversation... Calculated little madam aren't I?

On_My_Lonesome

VestanPance wrote: »

I don't do gyms, but I run and cycle a lot. I can tell you this, women runners are very attractive. You probably think you're a mess. I'll bet there are at least a couple of guys there perving at you!

I never did think gyms would be a good place to meet. I never thought of them being particularly social. A running or cycling club, would be far more social if meeting someone while getting fit was an objective.

There may be hope then for gym, just need there to be some decent bloke join, maybe there will be in the New year fitness rush.

I thought about the running club but need to get myself a bit fitter first, currently the run from the gym to the top of the road (its up a big hill) would kill me, I can manage Ok for a few Kms on flat but hills knock me for six, will keep working at it and join the beginners group when I can get to the top of the hill without need oxygen and an ambulance on standby!

On_My_Lonesome

miss_independent wrote: »

There are lots of gorgeous men at my local gym because it's a full sports centre and lots of guys get together to play 5 a side football. I think the key is to do something light and non appearance disturbing like a yoga class.......not Bikram obviously, gosh the SWEAT! Honestly, I've never had as many gorgeous men checking me out as when I was walking down the corridor with my pink yoga mat under my arm, no makeup and hair in a ponytail?! Shame at that point I actually was only interested in getting fit :rotfl:

But seriously, you only need to see the same guy a few times before you can start up a conversation... Calculated little madam aren't I?

Ooooooo I want to join your gym Where are you?

former_student

It's amazing Ms. Independent and myself won't approach potential partners and we wonder why we're single.