Finding That Special Person

bluenoseam

You're not bizzare, just slightly impatient!

Should note this is coming from someone who at 28 genuinely has never felt I "need" that part of my life - when the time is right for me to find the right girl & settle down it'll happen.

miss_independent

VestanPance wrote: »

The happen when you least expect it is a common line from people already coupled up, as that's how it happened with them. I think you'll find long term singles would argue otherwise, particularly as they hit the late 30's, 40's and beyond.

miss_independent - I'd say if you are quiet and reserved that is most likely the issue as why you'd be unlikely to just happen on someone randomly.

I tend to pull off the tall quiet guy thing with ease. I'm not a "bubbly" social centre of the party type person by nature. I know for a fact unless I go out of my way to interact with others then it'll never happen, as many take my laid back style as being cold or distant. Often seen by the "bubbly" types as being dull or no fun.

I wouldn't say I'm quiet... friends and family describe me as being vivacious. I am reserved though and by that I mean I'm not the ladette type, I live in quite a rough town and while I can have fun, you'd never find me dancing drunk on a table or vomiting in a back alley for example and that's a rarity round here...honestly :eek:. I'm well mannered, polite, was brought up to be a lady etc but not particularly "quiet", as in mousy wallflower for example.

Blackpool_Saver

miss_independent wrote: »

I live in quite a rough town and while I can have fun, you'd never find me dancing drunk on a table or vomiting in a back alley for example and that's a rarity round here...honestly :eek:. I'm well mannered, polite, was brought up to be a lady etc but not particularly "quiet", as in mousy wallflower for example.

I can relate to this, we are the odd ones out I think, men want tramps these days, edited to add, perhaps you should move to a better area, and mingle with people more like yourself, I moved well away from Blackpool for this very reason

*max*

I also think the "it'll happen when you stop looking" line is nonsense and quite patronising actually. What about those people for whom it doesn't happen? Because they do exist! I think finding someone special is a combination of effort and quite frankly, sheer luck. The two aren't necessarily in equal parts either. For some it's mostly down to luck (the majority of people, I'd say), for others it's mostly down to being proactive. You can look or not look all you want, if you never cross paths with someone "eligible" (for want of a better word), it's not going to happen.

Well, either that, or most people just settle for someone that'll do.

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

I wouldn't say I'm quiet... friends and family describe me as being vivacious. I am reserved though and by that I mean I'm not the ladette type, I live in quite a rough town and while I can have fun, you'd never find me dancing drunk on a table or vomiting in a back alley for example and that's a rarity round here...honestly :eek:. I'm well mannered, polite, was brought up to be a lady etc but not particularly "quiet", as in mousy wallflower for example.

I know what you mean, but if you are surrounded by those types chances are you'll be seen as"quiet" or stuck up.

I lived in a similar type area when younger and the fact even now I'm not one for getting fall down drunk and throwing up every weekend marks you out as some sort of social leper. Although that's just the joy of living in a place like Glasgow where everything seems to have to involve getting drunk.

VestanPance

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I can relate to this, we are the odd ones out I think, men want tramps these days, edited to add, perhaps you should move to a better area, and mingle with people more like yourself, I moved well away from Blackpool for this very reason

Being male I would like to disagree that we all like tramps. I don't. Although more than a few do like the slapper look to be fair.

Blackpool_Saver

VestanPance wrote: »

I know what you mean, but if you are surrounded by those types chances are you'll be seen as"quiet" or stuck up.

I lived in a similar type area when younger and the fact even now I'm not one for getting fall down drunk and throwing up every weekend marks you out as some sort of social leper. Although that's just the joy of living in a place like Glasgow where everything seems to have to involve getting drunk.

This is it exactly.

miss_independent

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

I can relate to this, we are the odd ones out I think, men want tramps these days, edited to add, perhaps you should move to a better area, and mingle with people more like yourself

Lol, I'm not far from you! I've been on a few nights out in Blackpool...never again, was just scary and not enjoyable at all.

Seriously, I fit in more in Downton Abbey than my hometown but I'm very close to my family.

Blackpool_Saver

VestanPance wrote: »

Being male I would like to disagree that we all like tramps. I don't. Although more than a few do like the slapper look to be fair.

ok, not all but a fair few like an easy woman, and young women feel they have to be that way to get a man

Blackpool_Saver

miss_independent wrote: »

Lol, I'm not far from you! I've been on a few nights out in Blackpool...never again, was just scary and not enjoyable at all.

Seriously, I fit in more in Downton Abbey than my hometown but I'm very close to my family.

I would never go out, or live in Blackpool again. My main worry now is my son wanting to go there.....