It is only once a week now...

balletshoes

Luella-14 wrote: »

Then with whom would you talk about it? They are my friends, I entirely trust them, I just happen to know them through work.

I would possibly discuss it with my very best friends - but not at work, and not anywhere near my other colleagues.

I work in an office where a few of my colleagues consider each other to be very good friends. And guess what - if one of them is having problems and discusses this with his/her friend at work, invariably some version of it comes out as office gossip. For that reason alone, I wouldn't discuss anything personal with friends at work.

nickj_2

surely this is a case of quantity over quality , go for a less is more approach

Torry_Quine

nickyhutch wrote: »

That's just silly. What's wrong with discussing problems with friends?

I think its beyond silly but disrespectful to discuss intimate problems of this nature and I know that if I did my husband would be hurt and angry. :mad:

Dunroamin

boyer wrote: »

The OP's partner does nothing around the house and now isn't even giving her any sort of intimacy. You can understand why she would be peeved.

Big deal he works long hours, it's not that abnormal or like he is working back to back shifts as a personal trainer all week. He needs to accept that his partner has needs to and isn't just a house keeper.

And the OP needs to accept that her husband is more than a human vibrator!

poet123

I think it may help the OP to look at it another way. Earlier in the thread she mentioned she wasn't working due to ill health. That being the case I assume she has good and bad periods, would she want to be pressured into sex when she is feeling ill? Or be made to feel guilty about it?

He is middle aged straight 12 hour days are a killer if you haven't been used to them. From what the OP says weekends are also almost as regimented as work. Forget the batch cooking, forget visiting friends with the travelling that entails, forget the shopping and spend the next few weekends letting him unwind and relax.

The OP seems to be obsessing about this, why would you even think about selling up? A huge over reaction to the issue. If she is even intimating even half of this angst and pressure to her husband he must be feeling very pressured.

belgiumwaffle

Some of the recent replies did make me giggle. I now have this idea in my head that I went to work holding court going 'right everyone gather round listen up let me tell you about my OH', you all know it doesnt happen that way, you keep it in conversation, vague,you don't give name, age,as on here and not once have I run my OH down.

It is not disrespectful or is the man talking jokingly about Kylie Minogues bottom and what they would do if she popped round for a cuppa disrespectful? It is jokey fun. Conversation, banding ideas, thoughts around to find something that will work.

Needy? NO, I have made it clear on here I miss it.
Obsessive? Finding a solution, getting other peoples ideas, trying to see it through his eyes, my eyes, everyones perspective, posting on here, chatting at work, is that not the point? Everyone posts on here about everything under the sun to clear it up in their heads and move forward. Angst towards OH? No, as said he is not here and when he is either tired, asleep, going to bed, paper work and there the post started, once a week.

Lets not forget I love him and in that breath I would only want what is best in every way for him I just miss it and him and our time and us, he is my best friend, it is very different now.

My mum always says to me 'every problem has a solution my love, you just have to find it' I am trying to find it.

No one is considering selling the house to sort this out, someone at work mentioned it. In turn I mentioned it on here, very OTT, that and date night came up and we are going to the cinema on saturday so it is all looking good.

huskypup

OP, can I please ask how old you are? are you younger than your husband?.

I think you are working yourself up over something that naturally happens - as you get older, the need for sex decreases, whether we like it or not.

My HB works away Mon to Fri - and we love each other very much - but we are not at it!! all weekend to make up for it, we still have a normal life to live, sometimes we can go weeks with it!! and its not because I dont want it, or he doesnt want me - its just not possible - thats life..

peachyprice

belgiumwaffle wrote: »

Needy? NO, I have made it clear on here I miss it.
Obsessive?

Sorry, but it is being needy, obsessive and frankly quite bratish to be turning something minor into such a big deal.

To get to the stage where you need to take advice from work colleagues and strangers on the internet it pretty desperate.

You're behaving as if your OH has stopped wanting sex altogether and it beeen like that for a long time, whereas in reality over the last 12 weeks it's gone from twice a week to once a week, hardly the end of the world to the vast majority of people your OH's age, working long hours, in a long term relationship.