It is only once a week now...

zaksmum

0^0 wrote: »

I wish I got it once a week lol.:rotfl:

Yeah...chance would be a fine thing, wouldn't it?:)

Brighton_belle

Do your grocery shopping online. And most other shopping - try and dicipline yourself to go only once a month max for anything else that you can't get on line.
We have a developed a culture where it is considered normal to go shopping every weekend but it really shouldn't be necessary. Use a wipe board or chalk board in the kitchen to keep a list of other things you need in town as you think of them and get used to doing without unitl that once a month trip. It really helps cut down on unessary spending and 'shopping as hobby' too.

0^0

zaksmum wrote: »

Yeah...chance would be a fine thing, wouldn't it?:)

Are you like me then, you think about it more than you get it lol.:D

liney

Unless you live somewhere remote then I really would move the shoping to a delivery in the week when you are home and get cooking then!

Do you really need to go out visiting every weekend? Can people not drop by for an hour in the evening, or you visit in the week instead so that your DH really does have a day of rest?

The bits and bobs around the house: have you checked with DH whether they are the kind or thing he'd rather pay someone else to do then spend his limited free time on them? It's no different than having a cleaner in, which many full time workers do.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Ummm....this might be seen as controversial here, but being out of the house for 12 hours a day, five days a week, isn't that much time, IMO, it's no more than an average working week plus travelling time from the suburbs to London, for example.


He doesn't have to do any housework. He presumably doesn't have to cook, clean or do anything much at all. He's being well looked after.


And I agree that some crappy bit of plastic is absolutely no substitute for a living, breathing man. It's something you use with a partner, as far as I'm concerned, and the whole 'just scratch the itch' idea just demeans the whole experience to the level of the emotional involvement expected between a prostitute and a client.


Making love is more than the sum of its parts - it's a physical and emotional connection - and that is what I think the OP is missing more - it's becoming a mechanical thing to tick off on the list of jobs to do at the weekend, not something fun and funny and wonderful and warm and all the things it could and should be.


OP, I can't suggest simple ways to fix this, but maybe, despite the fact it will be difficult for you, perhaps not making do with what you can get on the scheduled day/time could actually help?


Perhaps you need to look after yourself more? Wearing clothes that make you feel good, sexy undies because you like them, not because you're hoping he changes his mind? Getting your hair done, facial, that kind of thing? Getting new bedlinen that feels lovely on your skin and looks wonderful?

The reason why I suggest these things is not to make him jealous, but so you feel better about yourself rather than being upset about his apparent rejection of you. Not accepting sex just on his terms because you won't get it any other way, but because you both actually want to have it.


Perhaps then, he might realise lovemaking can't be entered into iCal with a reminder alarm an hour before the booked time, he has the pressure taken off with the expectation to perform, you take the pressure off yourself to have to try and appeal to him, and, whatever happens, you get some pampering, rather than running around solely as his PA/cleaner all week, when it's not exactly running a marathon everyday to work the equivalent of 9-5 plus 2 hours travelling time either way.

ska_lover

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Ummm....this might be seen as controversial here, but being out of the house for 12 hours a day, five days a week, isn't that much time, IMO, it's no more than an average working week plus travelling time from the suburbs to London, for example.

:rotfl: I have to laugh at that sweeping statement. I take it you have plenty of experience of family life whilst being out of the house for a ''mere'' 12 hour days? Tbf, your whole post comes across as patronising..telling her to get her hair done....''making love is more than the sum of its parts''.....!!!!!!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

ska_lover wrote: »

:rotfl: I have to laugh at that sweeping statement. I take it you have plenty of experience of family life whilst being out of the house for a ''mere'' 12 hour days? Tbf, your whole post comes across as patronising..telling her to get her hair done....''making love is more than the sum of its parts''.....!!!!!!

Yes, yes I did.


And I had a boyfriend who worked equally long hours in a physical job.

belgiumwaffle

Thank you JOJO for your reply, it is true he is well looked after as you say,I cook all the meals, he has nothing to do. I wouldn't expect him to.

It is true also that I feel a bit uhm used shall we say on a saturday morning, as if it is yes, just another chore ticked off. It is missing the emotional connection I agree.

Thank you for your suggestion, they will certainly be taken into consideration.

As for online shopping yes can be done, visiting well that is a two way thing, OH friends want to pop by, he wants to see them, maybe in some ways it could be limited but it is not for me to stop everything altogether, he went round to see his friend this afternoon, that is not what it is about.

As for the bits and bobs well likes to iron his own week works clothes on a Sunday(, 5 shirts, 3 trousers, he does some paper work for next week, he catches up on his emails, he makes some phone calls, if it fine weather he may mow the lawn or dig up some weeds, bits and bobs, nothing major just bits and bobs.

peachyprice

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Ummm....this might be seen as controversial here, but being out of the house for 12 hours a day, five days a week, isn't that much time, IMO, it's no more than an average working week plus travelling time from the suburbs to London, for example.

Ummm....from your previous posts I can just imagine your response if it were the wife saying she was out on the house from 7am to 7pm 5 days a week but her husband was pressuring her for sex 2-3 times a week and wasn't happy with the once she actually had the energy for.

balletshoes

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Ummm....this might be seen as controversial here, but being out of the house for 12 hours a day, five days a week, isn't that much time, IMO, it's no more than an average working week plus travelling time from the suburbs to London, for example.

thats probably true if thats what you're used to - but the OP isn't, and neither is her partner. Its not something I'd relish, and I'd be knackered doing that week in week out.