It is only once a week now...

Luella-14_2

CH27 wrote: »

Why are you discussing intimate issues with work mates?

I have plenty of close work friends with whom I'd discuss such matters. It's not as if I'm shouting it across the office, but over a lunch or Friday drinks. Is it really that unusual?

OP- I do understand where you're coming from. I'd find it hard to adjust to such a change and I probably would have been as frustrated as you have. As you've said, give it more time to see and I like Jimmy's idea of occasionally deciding against sex, that way it doesn't become so scheduled but more exciting. On a more personal note, if he's knackered after work have you considered surprising him with morning fun? We tend to do morning during the week, a good start to the day.

squirrelchops

OP it sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands and possible are therefore blowing this out of proportion. I am the same with my OH - if I am not busy I look at the minutae of our relationship and then worry over little things that normally I wouldn't have time to even think about!

I wish OH band I were having sex once a month let alone once a fortnight! Being in separate counties all week then both having very stressful jobs coupled with stressful other stuff going on kills the libido. However we enjoy time together and lots of intimacy in other ways such as cuddles etc. I remember a friend of mine was always at it with her OH - were they happy - no. They may have sha%%ed but their true intimacy was lacking. They're divorced now.

CH27

Luella-14 wrote: »

I have plenty of close work friends with whom I'd discuss such matters. It's not as if I'm shouting it across the office, but over a lunch or Friday drinks. Is it really that unusual?

OP- I do understand where you're coming from. I'd find it hard to adjust to such a change and I probably would have been as frustrated as you have. As you've said, give it more time to see and I like Jimmy's idea of occasionally deciding against sex, that way it doesn't become so scheduled but more exciting. On a more personal note, if he's knackered after work have you considered surprising him with morning fun? We tend to do morning during the week, a good start to the day.

I think it's hugely disrespectful to discuss such intimate matters with workmates who may gossip about it.

Luella-14_2

CH27 wrote: »

I think it's hugely disrespectful to discuss such intimate matters with workmates who may gossip about it.

Then with whom would you talk about it? They are my friends, I entirely trust them, I just happen to know them through work.

Torry_Quine

Luella-14 wrote: »

Then with whom would you talk about it? They are my friends, I entirely trust them, I just happen to know them through work.

You should be discussing it with him and him alone.

CH27

Luella-14 wrote: »

Then with whom would you talk about it? They are my friends, I entirely trust them, I just happen to know them through work.

I'd talk to nobody but my OH. Intimate stuff should stay intimate IMO.

nickyhutch

Torry_Quine wrote: »

You should be discussing it with him and him alone.

That's just silly. What's wrong with discussing problems with friends?

Dunroamin

Luella-14 wrote: »

I have plenty of close work friends with whom I'd discuss such matters. It's not as if I'm shouting it across the office, but over a lunch or Friday drinks. Is it really that unusual?

I don't know whether it's usual but I think it's quite awful.

boyer

The OP's partner does nothing around the house and now isn't even giving her any sort of intimacy. You can understand why she would be peeved.

Big deal he works long hours, it's not that abnormal or like he is working back to back shifts as a personal trainer all week. He needs to accept that his partner has needs to and isn't just a house keeper.

Luella-14_2

Sex is not a taboo subject between my friends and I. I wouldn't sit there rating a performance or give intimate details, but if I was frustrated, as the OP is, I would ask my friends for advice. The OP hasn't in any way implied that her husband isn't good at it, just that the recent change in quantity is hard to deal with.