It is only once a week now...

balletshoes

a 60-hour week every week is exhausting.
On top of that, he has a full day of doing stuff every Sunday, so no relaxation there either.

I'd agree with others, if at all possible, cut out the Sunday list of duties (for both of you) so you've got all, or most of, the weekend together, relaxing together, being together, doing fun stuff together.

CH27

Do as much of the weekend stuff yourself in the week & free some time for him to really relax at the weekend.

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

Do as much of the weekend stuff yourself & free some time for him to really relax at the weekend.

Can you get most of the weekend stuff done during the week so that you can both relax at the weekend and just spend time together?

peachyprice

belgiumwaffle wrote: »

I make sure as I work part time he has all he needs when he gets in to take the strain off him, all he has to do then is go to work.

On a sunday we have loads to do, catch up with family, friends, shopping he has work paper work to do,freezer batch cooking, bits and bobs around the house, all the stuff we did do before but had more time to get it done now it is all crammed into one day.

Why are you batch cooking and shopping on a Sunday when your OH is working a 60hr week? You must have far more evening time to yourself than when he was working shorter hours.

Catching up with family and friends should be for relaxation and fun, if time is so short it's a chore, forget it.

Bits a bobs around the house? Can't you do at least some of these things yourself while he's at work?

I can't help but feel sorry for your OH. He's doing his best to further his career and you're complaining because you're only getting sex once a week? I'm guessing you've never worked full time for such long hours and don't really understand how exhausting it is, especially the older you get, what was a breeze at 25 can be bloomin hard work at 35.

It's only been 3 months, that's no time at all for him to settle into his new routine, you putting extra pressure on him to perform when he's just not up to it won't be helping the situation at all.

The only advice I can give, is back off and give your OH time.

globetraveller

Hopefully by writing it all down you will begin to see what most of the rest of us do. Your OH is working long, exhausting days, which seem to include some work on Sundays as well. The poor man has been in his job for 3 months and you are already putting a strain on your relationship.
Get your shopping and batch cooking done during the week- I've no idea why are not already doing this. If its because he drives and you don't, then do online grocery shopping and pick a lower cost midweek slot for delivery.
Don't see friends and relations every week. Explain that OH is exhausted and needs some time to recover. In the meantime, keep in contact by phones.
Do all of that and still give him time. Give him some undemanding affection and let him relax. There is more to a relationship than sex.

mountainofdebt

You may not want to be a 'performing seal' but I guess it can't be too romantic for your OH to be expected to 'perform on command' either .

poet123

Sex in relationships goes in peaks and troughs depending on other commitments. I think that you just need to pull back a little and let him settle in to the energy levels required for a 60 hour week. Really, weekends should be for relaxation especially if you have no kids who pull you in all directions for their hobbies at weekends. Do the jobs in the week, and chill out at the weekend. Turn the phones off, have a take away, and put on a DVD and chill. If the chores don't get done leave them , life won't end.

madison-nyc

just sounds like real life to me op, sorry to be so blunt but sex isn't the be all and end all in busy lives.

We both have full time jobs in my house , both do shift work and i've started at college too and with 2 kids under 5 sex is at the bottom of a very long list! lol we still cuddle up when we get the chance and try and get to the cinema when we can etc. but sex is once a month if that.

Get yourself a b.o.b from ann summers so you can keep yourself happy and leave the poor man alone when he's just got in from work and knackered!

belgiumwaffle

Thank you for the replies. Yes, my OH takes the car to work so we get to use it for shopping on a sunday, family visits etc at weekends, yes I can go on the bus, yes I can get the main things done so all we have to do is not a lot at weekend and yes I can explain that to people who want to see him. Thank you.

I did say I am grateful for his work, full of appreciation, he knows I am proud of him and that he does it for us, 60 hour week I know I am lucky as I said and not by any means ungrateful just erm OH lonely due to his tiredness and well you know.

Anne summers, yes got some.

I don't expect him to be a love god or wear him out as said just a bit more. Yes, we still kiss and cuddle and talk and laugh.

yes I did work full time but bad health made me go part time.

madison-nyc

grocery shop online , that's one job out of the way during the week. I couldn't survive without online shopping these days! lol