worries over having only 1 child....'only childs' views needed!

Mupette

I am an only child, parents couldn't have any more, i have only had one child turns out i can't have anymore either, just as well, when i had the opportunity to have another i wasn't financial in a position to have another.

Caroline_a

I'm an only one too and I hated it as a child. So much pressure on just one child! I would never have had only one, I had 3.

**dancingbutterfly**

Thank you very much for everyone's comments.

lostinrates: Wise words, I give my son my full, undivided, attention, experiences, financial security these would be stretched with another child obvs. Thank you

glitter_fairy: My son is no where near spoilt, I was brought up to be extremely polite, presentable and hardworking, my boy is on the same track But obviously there are only children on the other end of the spectrum

Person1: The age gap plays heavy on my mind. If I were to get pregnant our son would be at least 8 and while he's starting 'big school' and doing homework and research they'll be a 3 year old toddling around. Totally different stages of childhood, I worry my son would resent the sibling for getting more attention etc.

Thank you all again.

pink68

lostinrates wrote: »

As others have said....while this is a nice idea it isn't how it works out for everyone. My three o clock in the morning call would not be to my sister (I love how mountain of debt phrases that). In fact, haven't confided in her for ten years or so. Hers wouldn't be to mine, but I would be in the list of people to leach from, just not at the top of it.:o

My dh is close to his siblings, but this has distanced with time too, and the fact there is a literal ocean between them.

In a world where people have fewer geographical and social limits friendships can often be cpthicker than blood, and this pressure of 'being there' for a sibling is something that I have found has seen me very much the poorer, both financially and emotionally.

I quite agree LIR, in fact my OH has a sibling he never sees for the same reason and my brother lives two hours away and we only meet up three or four times a year.... But you cant choose to disown a sibling you never had.

PasturesNew

He's 7... he'd be 8 by the time a sibling were born, minimum.... and what if it weren't a sister? Anyway .... they'd have nothing in common, ages too far apart to play together etc. I have a sibling 9 years older than me and I can barely remember her existing.

When he's 14 and wants to play footy with his mates, he won't thank you for saying "stay in and play with your 6 year old brother/sister". By the time he's 18 and drinking/dating/whatever, the sibling will still only be 10.

glitter_fairy

PasturesNew wrote: »

He's 7... he'd be 8 by the time a sibling were born, minimum.... and what if it weren't a sister? Anyway .... they'd have nothing in common, ages too far apart to play together etc. I have a sibling 9 years older than me and I can barely remember her existing.

When he's 14 and wants to play footy with his mates, he won't thank you for saying "stay in and play with your 6 year old brother/sister". By the time he's 18 and drinking/dating/whatever, the sibling will still only be 10.

not always true my dh is 8 and 9 years old than his brothers and is so close to them.

**dancingbutterfly**

I agree glitter_fairy.

My youngest brother is 11 years younger than me and we are probably the closest! He was my little baby when he was born

glitter_fairy

**dancingbutterfly** wrote: »

I agree glitter_fairy.

My youngest brother is 11 years younger than me and we are probably the closest! He was my little baby when he was born

Things like this are so personal its impossible to say every family is different.

lostinrates

pink68 wrote: »

I quite agree LIR, in fact my OH has a sibling he never sees for the same reason and my brother lives two hours away and we only meet up three or four times a year.... But you cant choose to disown a sibling you never had.

But neither can you shake feelings of guilt, however logically you rationalise, when a sibling, or their children is in 'another fine mess'.

LandyAndy

I'm an only child. I've never wished I had a sibling.

I do have two children myself, though.