Are you happy with your 'lot' in life?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Person_one wrote: »

There's evidence that your happiness level is something that gets 'hard wired' quite early on in childhood. If you have a strong happiness foundation, even life's toughest blows don't completely shatter you and you get back to your previous happy state eventually.

I'm completely banjaxed then.







***********

However, I'm also incredibly stubborn.

For all the family, relationships, health and financial problems I have, I can't control them. They've happened. I don't like them, but they've happened nonethless.

And I don't want to give up, I don't want to collapse into a blubbering heap and let everything and everyone win.



So I keep doing stuff that does make me feel happy, even if it puts me in bed for days afterwards.

I look at my advantages, my nice little house on the edge of town with cheap rent and a secure tenancy. The way I've gone from nothing to semiprofessional multi instrumentalist and singer within two years. The way, despite sheer terror and shyness at the thought of dealing with people, I can haul myself up there. And even chat to a couple of people afterwards.

Every day I do something, I'm sticking two fingers up at illness, at the people who wanted me to be nothing, at the self doubt and fear inside that tries to stop me from doing things I enjoy.




So no, I'm not happy all the time.


But I'm still here.

FBaby

One feel good factor is to realise that I am much happier than a number of people who have more than me not just materialistic but as a whole. happiness if finding the balance between feeling in control of or life whilst appreciating what we do have rather than focusing on what we don't have. Saying that a bit of frustration at time is required to progress and move forward.

VestanPance

faerie~spangles wrote: »

My thirtieth birthday was my lightbulb moment.

I'd been married for twelve years and was in danger of becoming a empty shell.

At 30 I was happily married to a woman I loved with all my heart and thought I'd be with until one of us died. I was in complete peace with the world and with myself. I couldn't have cared less about material things or any of the other white noise that fills our minds and thoughts at times. Life and happiness seemed simple and I was dumb enough to think the woman I loved and had been with for 12 years at that point felt the same.

Five years later that all exploded in my face. Happiness now seems like an abstract concept.

VestanPance

marisco wrote: »

Snap. Roll on turning 40, I am hoping that decade will be far better.

I'm thinking of just sticking my fingers in my ears and pretending that I'm 25 again!

tea_lover

VestanPance wrote: »

I'm thinking of just sticking my fingers in my ears and pretending that I'm 25 again!

I've been doing that ever since 30... have never quite recovered from the horror of that birthday.

bitemebankers

Interesting discourse on the 30th birthday. I *loathed* mine. My 20s (which had been brilliant) were over, I was stuck in a failing marriage and up to my eyeballs in debt. I thought I'd never be able to enjoy life again. Now I'm heading for 40 and life is really looking up. Most of the debt is paid, I'm in an amazing relationship and I'm feeling very positive about the future. It's amazing the difference a decade can make!

amyloofoo

Thank you to those who replied to my post. I just wanted to follow up without the influence of wine and a rather depressing conversation to say that overall I am very happy with my lot in life, and feel that things are going to get better. I am very grateful for my lovely family and friends, and my health is currently much better than it has been in the past.

I was just really low the other night, and am prone to all the feelings of self-blame and guilt that lots of people feel. Maybe I should fit a breathaliser to my laptop so I don't post when emotional from now on :rotfl:

Cat501

No, not happy at all, although things could be a lot worse. At least I have a roof over my head and my kids are still here and, at the moment, all speaking to me. And I have nobody to blame but myself (and depression/social anxiety) for making a constant b*lls up of my entire adult life.

I'm 40 in 6 weeks time and panic-stricken. At 30 I panicked and thought I was running out of time to sort my life out - 10 years later here I am in the same place. Still a failure, still a screw-up. Just hoping the CBT will help, and hoping the new meds I've been prescribed become available again (supply issues!! )

Luckily for you lot I'm too tired right now to write any more

bitemebankers

amyloofoo wrote: »

Maybe I should fit a breathaliser to my laptop so I don't post when emotional from now on :rotfl:

Ha ha ha! That would help save a *lot* of us from ourselves.

toffee'n'tom

Apart from the usual rollercoaster of being a parent I'm generally OK given I've made many a mistake. I was stubborn and refused to further my education. With hindsight I feel as if I've failed there. I've ended up with an ok office/admin but it's fairly well paid and fairly interesting at times but not what I could have been capable of. My marriage broke down after 16 years (another failure) - that was a tough time but got over it. I have two fantastic teenagers who I'm so close to (although we have our ups and downs). I work part-time but manage to take a decent holiday with them every year. I have a nice house and a battered old car which I love. I don't have a big mortgage or much debt but hope to be clear of everything when or if I can sell my current home.

What I'm not looking forward to (but will never discourage) is when my children leave home for uni hopefully. It will leave a huge gap.

I'm still single without a sniff of a relationship in six years (although I have a date tonight for the first time ) I mostly had 'couple type' friends who have now drifted away since separation. I have two brothers who both live at opposite ends of the country. I only have my very elderly mother who lives close by.

So currently - yes - but worried about a lonely future.