Are you happy with your 'lot' in life?

VestanPance

lostinrates wrote: »

Vestanpants, meeting someone doesn't mean your life would be as planned. She might have been infertile or become ill, ot you might have suffered either of those too.

I fully understand that, but being an old fashioned sort I'd have been more than happy to work through those issues with someone I looked on as my other half.

Much like Yorkshirelass points out in her post. My thought of a child like most would be that of a happy and healthy child, but not everyone is so fortunate. I'd like to think had this been the case for me I'd still love the child with all my heart and be there for the kid as much as Yorkshirelass is for her son.

minimacka

I am extremely happy with my 'lot' I am married to a wonderful man, i have 2 gorgeous boys one of whom has a good job and the other who after a year of illness is now fit and doing well in his last year of school.
I have a lovely extended family and i am very lucky that we all have a good social life together.
I have a nice house, with a smallish (in todays standards mortgage), we have money in the bank and i am fit and well.
I live in a beautiful part of the country 10 mins walk to the beach and a 10 min car ride to the countryside and i thank my lucky stars everytime i take my dog onto the beach that I live here.
I have a good job and my work colleagues are very funny (all men) and so i love going to work. I am lucky enough to only have to work 4 days a week so a get a long weekend off every week, even longer if there is a bank holiday.

I also know how lucky I am, when i read some really sad threads on here about people who are not so lucky as me and are struggling with there life and debts.

xx

FatVonD

I'm fairly content, I have made big mistakes along the way and sometimes wonder where it all went so wrong but the mistakes were just crossings in a path that have lead to other places IYSWIM?

Aged 30 I had a 4-bed, 3 storey house (70k mortgage) which I sold when my son was small, I now (aged 53) live in a 2 bed cottage with 100k mortgage (albeit in a much nicer area.) I regret selling it and sometimes can't understand how I got it all so wrong (I blame post-partum insanity!) but selling that house bought me 4 years at home with my son

I lost 10k last year on a failed business venture but I'm still glad I tried it and I'm grateful it was from my redundancy money and that I didn't remortgage to do it (as I had been planning to do.)

I'm earning just 2/3rds of my previous salary at the moment but I love the job and I'm aware how lucky I am to be working at all, especially when I regularly receive CVs of freelancers who have been in the business for years who have no work.

My husband earns just enough to cover his outgoings and nothing more but I love him and he's genuinely the nicest bloke I've ever had a relationship with.

I would love more money but when I'm tucked up in bed with a good book sharing a packet of wine gums with my husband, it's raining outside and we're indoors cosy and warm with a roof over our heads (however small) I do feel content with my lot.

Panda78

Not happy with everything, but i know that the things i now regret were made with good intentions to start with - i put other people before myself or tried to do what i thought was "the right thing" at the time. That must make me a decent person at least, but i do wish i had been a little more selfish and perhaps have the life i wanted and could have had.

Mr_Toad

I was having this conversation with friends a couple of weeks ago. We have reached that stage in life where you look back and wonder.

I am happy, very happy and I've had a very happy life so far, I've been living it for 55 years.

I even had a happy parting from my wife. We have two grown up children and after slowly growing apart we separated six years ago without any drama or acrimony, it suited us both and we are still very close friends. I was out for a meal with her and other mutual friends last night. I even get on with her new partner.

I have a lovely home in a nice village, a great job in IT that I'd probably do as a hobby if I wasn't getting paid to do it. I have worked from home for 12 years so don't have a daily commute which I'm sure reduces stress levels.

I was trying to explain to my friends that I put my happiness down to contentment, I love nice things and own some nice things, I'm content with what I have and do not crave "new things" like some people or worry that others judge me by what I own, drive or wear.

When I became single again I discovered that dating wasn't a problem. It came as something of a surprise to me that women seem to like me and dating was very easy. In the last six years I have discovered that I love being single and living alone. I have girlfriends but I have no desire to remarry or get into a live in relationship.

I do wonder if my happiness is down to luck, chance or is it of my own making. I also wonder why so many people who seem to have more than necessary for a good life appear so unhappy.

bride2be2012

I've been having this conversation with my DH for the past few weeks. Neither of us are particularly happy with our 'lot' at the moment. We are both in jobs that neither of us particularly want to be in, that are quite poorly paid. We have debts that we want to be paid off (our own doing yes, but we have learnt from past mistakes), but struggling to clear much due to our low wages. We desperately want to own our own house, but have no chance with the current job and debt situation. We'd love to start a family, but feel we should wait until our financial situation improves.

But, as we keep reminding ourselves, we have each other (only been married since May), we have our dog, our health and loving families and good friends. Time is also on our side (I'm 28 in a few weeks, OH 5 years older), and we are trying hard to change the position we are currently in.

FatVonD

bride2be2012 wrote: »

We'd love to start a family, but feel we should wait until our financial situation improves.

But, as we keep reminding ourselves, we have each other (only been married since May), we have our dog, our health and loving families and good friends. Time is also on our side (I'm 28 in a few weeks, OH 5 years older), and we are trying hard to change the position we are currently in.

A bit off topic but, if you're 28 already and know you want children then just go for it, mother nature favours those physically most able to have children, not financially the most able


OP, the other things that occurs to me, (I don't know whether you are single or part of a couple), I am sometimes envious of people with nice houses but they are often coming at it from a position of two people putting together the proceeds of selling their own individual properties. I have NEVER been in that position so everything i have I've worked for myself.

bitemebankers

Mr_Toad wrote: »

I even had a happy parting from my wife. We have two grown up children and after slowly growing apart we separated six years ago without any drama or acrimony, it suited us both and we are still very close friends. I was out for a meal with her and other mutual friends last night. I even get on with her new partner.

That's really cool. We didn't have kids, but otherwise that's a fair description of our situation, and the number of people who react in disbelief that we're not try to tear one another apart...

squirrelchops

embob74 wrote: »

I cried when I turned 30 and I know a few friends who did the same QUOTE]

Now, for me turning 30 was the best thing that ever happened! I finally felt more settled in myself as a person.

Am I happy with my lot - yes because each year is getting better. I have a partner but no children (would like 1) I attained a degree 2 years ago - something I had always wanted to do. OH and I don't want for anything - except a move to the coast which is on the cards.

FBaby

I'm getting happier with my life as it goes, despite having less control over choices I can make, but being better equipped to appreciate what I do have.

I agree that life is an accumulation of choices we made, some and bad, and accepting events we don't control (when maybe we shouldn't have accepted them). The best choice I made, although very difficult was to have my children. The first one was by stopping the pill without telling my partner. I was 99% confident he would be over the moon, and thankfully, I was right. I decided to go ahead with the second, although I already knew deep down that our relationship wouldn't last. Life evolved and we did separate BUT we both adore our children and would never ever regret having them. Despite having separate parents, they are very happy children. We can't tell what life would have been if we'd made other choices, but the reality is that my now partner and I can't have children together. He initially wanted to become a dad, I was desperate to be a mum again. It wasn't meant to be. He has moved on and accepted the situation because he realises that he is a selfish person and would probably struggle with being the dad he believes he should be. His relationship with my children is a good compromise. As for me, well I have been able to move on by being grateful to have my two wonderful children, even if I would have loved to have a child with the man I love.

My regret is in regards to my career. I studied and work hard to build my career, but I have been very desillusioned with the uncaring and unsupportive environments I worked in. I don't hate my job on a day to day basis, but I hate how I have no control over any decisions that affect me directly. I do earn a good salary though and crave my financial security too much to be prepared to give it up. My experience is now such that I would really struggle to get a job in another field, at least whilst the recession is there, so I have to bear it and be grateful for it, which I am, but I wish I'd gone the route of self-employment.

All in all, I've learnt not to take good health for granted any longer, and I do make a point of reminding myself how fortunate I am to be healthy and so are all the people I love. That certainly makes me happy with my lot.

Website dating has been mentioned. I myself had reached the stage of total cynicism about it when I was contacted by my partner. I'd been on the site for over 4 years by then, vetted many unsuitable members, gone on fewer and fewer dissapointing dates, got played about a couple of times, and had just decided to finally give up on the whole thing when he found me. I still have an email to a friend of mine telling her that I had found 'the one' when I received his message and saw his profile (despite the horrible picture!!!). Sometimes, it really is worth still fighting to get what you want. It becomes inevitably a gamble, but in the end, you can't win if you don't play.