Are you happy with your 'lot' in life?

Person_one

Maureen43 wrote: »

No. Not at the moment. Splitting from husband while he continues to behave appallingly. Pros though - I have a fantastic family and a small core of amazing friends who have been there for me.

I have mentally written off 2012 and am hoping 2013 will herald a new happier me. Planning on moving house and maybe starting the dating game when I feel up to it.

I am at heart a positive person so believe all this is possible.

Big hugs to all those having a rough time.

There's evidence that your happiness level is something that gets 'hard wired' quite early on in childhood. If you have a strong happiness foundation, even life's toughest blows don't completely shatter you and you get back to your previous happy state eventually.

claire21

VestanPance wrote: »

I've given up completely on relationships. I no longer trust anyone, never mind trust anyone enough to even consider entering a relationship with them.

That and I'm of an age that the vast majority of women already have children and I'm old fashioned in that I'd love to have my own family, but not someone else's. That's not a PC thing to say, but it's the honest truth of the matter for me.

Obviously I dont know what has happened to you in the past but im sure there are plently of people who have had a bad past and now have trust issues. There are plently of men out there that havent had children and are the same as you and dont want 'baggage" of someone elses kids. Why not try some councelling for trust issues, i am sure it must be a major problem out there, talk through it with a total stranger . We all get let down in life some to a much greater degree than others. Trust is something someone has to earn so you are not going to give it away freely. I know people who are in their older years that are in relationships but still keep their own homes and have their own space.

threemuttleys

Well

I have a roof over my head, I have food in my belly (do crumpets count?) and I have a lovely little toddler...and of course my mutts

But things could be a whole lot better. I could have a better relationship with my mother, live nearer my father and sister. Have a better job/prospects, have more money and be debt free

I could also have a better relationship with my OH

I am 30 next year..think its time I started living life as I want it to be. No one else is going to do it for me

claire21

amyloofoo wrote: »

No doubt I'm sharing this due to the time of night / glasses of wine I've shared with my friends earlier but no, I could be happier with my life. I always had issues with my parenting and family, which looking back on it were probably due to my bipolar disorder and their over-the-top religiosity following my adoption. Despite this, I'm close to my parents but feel that there's a lot of my life I just can't share with them.

When I was 17 I had an abortion as I'd been advised that I may be a carrier of my natural mother's condition (Turner's syndrome) and was taking my A-Levels at the time. It was a surprise pregnancy due to contraceptive failure and, please don't get me wrong, I still believe in reproductive rights and that abortion is good for lots of women. Despite this, I've felt lots of guilt since and now I'm married am struggling to conceive which is incredibly difficult when I think I could have already had a much loved and thought about child.

I have always been considered to be a very pretty girl, and previously worked as a model. Despite this, I know my husband prefers curvier women than me, and he has been propositioned by a previous lover who is 'more his type'. People look at us as though he is the one who has got the better end of the deal, but I am constantly scared that he is going to find someone more 'womanly' than me who will conceive easier. Maybe this is my punishment for what happened.

I didnt want to not answer this.

There is no punishment in life by some higher being, only you are punishing yourself. I have not had an abortion so I know I cant comment on how you feel about it some days. It was the right thing for you to do at the time. Not being able to get pregnant at this very moment has nothing to do with your past.

Many moons ago I did a bit of fashion modeling, when i met my second husband I still had some model like looks, i am now a bit over weight. My husband said what attracted him to me was not my looks but my sense of hummor and my brain. I really do think when you pick someone to spend your life with looks are very unimportant but your man fell for who you are inside. I am sure my husband would like it if I had bigger boobs but that doesnt mean hes going to look at women who just have that asset.

Love yourself and he will love you even more for doing that. Confidence is a very attractive thing!

niklepic

I'm happy with a lot of certain aspects in my life, ie. I'm (usually) happy with my husband, I'm 25 weeks pregnant with baby number 3 and I'll be leaving work permanently after maternity leave to care for my (disabled) son. Having worked since my eldest (now nearly 15) was a baby I'm looking forward to spending time with the kids.

There are things in my life I really wish I could change but unfortunately there's nothing I can do about them. I can't change bad decisions I've made in the past (both financial and personal) and I can't change my son's diagnosis but I feel that I can accept my lot in life and do the best I can with what I've been given.

Probably accept it slightly better if i won the lottery...

meer53

I'm 55 and have come to the conclusion that life is what YOU make it. Don't rely on anyone else, you will be let down.

I have 2 kids, a son who is 25 and a daughter who is 12. My ex traded me in for a newer model 10 years ago. Big deal at the time but with hindsight, it was a blessing.

I have a house, a job and so far (fingers crossed !) my health.

Am i happy ? Yes i really am.

I discovered that i'm not the horrible person my ex made me out to be and that i'm loved by lots of people. I have my self respect back.

Could my life be better ? Materialistically, yes, if i won the lottery i'd be deliriously happy ! But spiritually, no, i'm confident that i'm a good person and that karma really does exist.

It's no good moaning about whats wrong with your life. You have the power to change it, no-one else.

VestanPance

claire21 wrote: »

Obviously I dont know what has happened to you in the past but im sure there are plently of people who have had a bad past and now have trust issues. There are plently of men out there that havent had children and are the same as you and dont want 'baggage" of someone elses kids. Why not try some councelling for trust issues, i am sure it must be a major problem out there, talk through it with a total stranger . We all get let down in life some to a much greater degree than others. Trust is something someone has to earn so you are not going to give it away freely. I know people who are in their older years that are in relationships but still keep their own homes and have their own space.

I don't believe in counselling. I can figure out everything myself.

I'm old fashioned in my morals and relationship ideas and that doesn't fit with today. I have no faith in what I want exists and no trust in my judgement of others after wasting half my life with someone who was clearly just a lie. I've had to accept that my dreams of a wife and children are now just fantasy. I can live with that. I'm not a social animal or big people person anyway, so I'll get used to spending 99% of the time on my own.

Yes, it hurts when you see some guy walking down the street holding his kids hand and you wonder if he knows how lucky he is, but I have my health and after seeing my parents suffering and passing away from long illness I know I should appreciate my health even if other things I want are no longer to be.

janey183

claire21 wrote: »

For people who are single but would like to be with a partner, what do you actually do about meeting people? Where do you go that you have a chance of striking up a conversation with someone new?

Ive tried bus stops :eek:supermarket, (rare) nights out. Im not comftable going to a pub by myself and I think a group of girls sometimes puts men off?:beer:
Im an outgoing kinda girl, love a laugh, but at 45 and broke its just not that easy.:(
Most men around my age are either Married, Gay, too much baggage or just want to sleep around.:cool:
Im not after marriage or children, I dont want to mother someone elses children, I dont want one night stands, just a nice, easy going chappie....youd think it was easy, but its not!
If anyone has a magic recipe please let me know!:blushing:

claire21

VestanPance wrote: »

I don't believe in counselling. I can figure out everything myself.

I'm old fashioned in my morals and relationship ideas and that doesn't fit with today. I have no faith in what I want exists and no trust in my judgement of others after wasting half my life with someone who was clearly just a lie. I've had to accept that my dreams of a wife and children are now just fantasy. I can live with that. I'm not a social animal or big people person anyway, so I'll get used to spending 99% of the time on my own.

Yes, it hurts when you see some guy walking down the street holding his kids hand and you wonder if he knows how lucky he is, but I have my health and after seeing my parents suffering and passing away from long illness I know I should appreciate my health even if other things I want are no longer to be.

If you can figure things out by yourself, i think thats a hard thing to do all of the time, why cant you trust your judgement? You made a wrong decission about a relationship but I am sure you have made the right decissions in many other parts of your life.

I dont think you have to be a social animal to meet people but you do need to step outside home or work. I suppose you have to ask your self if you had to write a list what would be most important, not being let down again or to stop the hurt of being without a partner for the rest of your life, which one of the two options when your life has come to an end will you be glad you picked. I know this is just some internet forum so I really dont want to sound as if im coming across in the wrong way, im just trying to be positive.

VestanPance

Not being foolish enough to put myself in a position to be betrayed, lied too and made a fool of is a higher priority. Hence my decision.