Are you happy with your 'lot' in life?

alias*alibi

Just a nosy question really. A few things have made me question my choices recently; both professionally and privately; I've made some mistakes I wish I could change but as I don't have a time machine I'm stuck with the consequences of those said choices.

I guess I think I should be in a different place to where I am given my age. Part of me wants to kick my ar$€ and say be grateful for what you do have but another part of me is saying 'is this really what life is all about '. I guess it's midlife crisis looming but I do feel life is just passing by and I'm stood on the pavement watching it.

skateykatey

You don't say how old you are but I remember going through a little phase of thinking like that about 5 years ago.

I'm now 40 and am pretty pleased with life; I'm older and wiser and less likely to give a darn about what others think.

Yes, I've cocked up in the past but so what...show me someone who hasn't. I've never knowingly hurt anyone so my conscience is clear.

alias*alibi

skateykatey wrote: »

You don't say how old you are but I remember going through a little phase of thinking like that about 5 years ago.

I'm now 40 and am pretty pleased with life; I'm older and wiser and less likely to give a darn about what others think.

Yes, I've cocked up in the past but so what...show me someone who hasn't. I've never knowingly hurt anyone so my conscience is clear.

I turned 40 this year. I dreaded hitting that birthday and I'm glad it's gone by but do wonder if that's why I'm thinking the way I am as I'm now in that age group. I've made some stinking life choices based on being needy (abandonment issues so a counsellor said) and I'm feeling a bit panicky at where they have left me in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time to feel like i belong if that makes sense?

vixarooni

I am very lucky and blessed to have a lovely small family, a great small set of friends and a boyfriend who is most definitely the one. That to me is the most important thing in life and so i am very happy with what i have.

You can't change the past but you can change the future! Perhaps you need to focus on what is positive in your life and start to make changes YOU want to make in order to feel more happy in life.

PasturesNew

I'm fine until smug tw*ts start whittering on about how lovely it is to have their friends/family around them and how they're loved .... and stuff. And I'm on my own.

alias*alibi

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm fine until smug tw*ts start whittering on about how lovely it is to have their friends/family around them and how they're loved .... and stuff. And I'm on my own.

Sorry to hear that PN. Apart from my DH and DD I'm on my own. I decided it wasn't worth trying to carry on a relationship with my parents back in March when they couldn't be bothered with me; so I kinda understand. I think if I had more family and friends around I might not sit and dwell on stuff so much.

tea_lover

Yes and no for me. I'm happy in my family life - have a lovely OH (at times!), a beautiful home, family all nearby. Since moving house last year I've also started going to lots of new groups/activities and have made some great new friends. I would dearly love to be a mum but no luck so far on that front.

'Professionally' (ha!) is a different story though. I hate my job with a real passion, am bored beyond words and spend 40 hrs a week just wishing my life away. But I feel trapped there by various circumstances. If I could get the work-thing sorted I'd be really happy with life but I can't see any way out of it.... short of a nervous breakdown which is definitely on the cards.

vixarooni

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm fine until smug tw*ts start whittering on about how lovely it is to have their friends/family around them and how they're loved .... and stuff. And I'm on my own.

I'd rather be appreciative of what i have then bitter Sometimes the little nugget of what people say is just the surface stuff. I didn't mention about my fathers condition, that my mum is a carer, that i spend long periods of time on my own because of my job where the only conversation i will have that day is with my boyfriend who lives 4 and a half hours away, and thats if im not working. Then there's the two best friends i recently don't talk to anymore, hence the "small" reference i made! I'm being positive because the alternative wouldn't get me anywhere...

skateykatey

alias*alibi wrote: »

I turned 40 this year. I dreaded hitting that birthday and I'm glad it's gone by but do wonder if that's why I'm thinking the way I am as I'm now in that age group. I've made some stinking life choices based on being needy (abandonment issues so a counsellor said) and I'm feeling a bit panicky at where they have left me in life. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time to feel like i belong if that makes sense?

It does make sense as I felt like that. Sometimes, you just need to give yourself a bit of a break and focus on what you have achieved instead. With regards to your bad decisions; like I said, show me someone who hasn't screwed up royally at some point!

The important thing is to recognise why you make bad decisions and then try to avoid those situations. For instance, I'm hopeless with alcohol and have done some stupid and dangerous things whilst I've been drunk; it's only sheer luck that I'm still in one piece and I shudder at the things I got up to. My answer...I now very rarely drink so I can't make a prat out of myself.

Easier said than done, I appreciate but with age comes wisdom (or the confidence to say sod it!)

podperson

I'm in a slightly similar position - wasn't really happy with where I was in life, just didn't feel I was where I wanted to be. I had a period where I thought hard about what I wanted to change/how I wanted things to be and then made a plan to try and get me there - which I'm currently working on
If you're not happy with your 'lot in life' then it's never to late to try and change it x

Nan63

I was just thinking this to myself the other day as I was thinking about hitting 50 next year.... and my conclusion was Yes, I am happy with my lot. I have a good marriage, I'm healthy, my smart grown up daughter is settled in her life and I have 2 gorgeous grandchildren (the second born just last week) and, for a short while longer, a job I enjoy.

The job is disappearing early next year as we are all being made redundant but I'll not let that get me down, I can't do anything about it so what is the point of being miserable.

One thing I learned many years ago is that only I am responsible for my own happiness, what I do with my own life is my choice and I choose to make it as pleasant as possible making changes where necessary.

Of course I have regrets, who doesn't? But I suppose they have all put me where I am today and as I look around me, it's not too bad a place to be.