Are you happy with your 'lot' in life?

Mr_Toad

fudgecat wrote: »

Or I can turn it on its head. We live in a small house - there is only two of us so why do we need more? Everything in our house has been recycled - very green. I am lucky to have a full time job. I have two children and a grandchild. I like my own company and need very little out of life apart from walking the dog and finding a really good book in a charity shop. I see my three friends twice a year - I couldn`t squeeze much more in with the hours I work. I have no need to retire, so I might as well work until I drop. I am boring, but old enough to not give a fig. I like small ecological pleasures.
It is all a case of perception, I suppose.

What a fantastic outlook on life! :T

Your attitude is exactly what differentiates you, a glass half full person, from the glass half empty person. If only it could be bottled and given to those that need it.

I think you should hang around and do a bit of life coaching.

lessonlearned

Interesting thread.

On paper I should be about slashing my wrists - my wonderful husband of 30 years suffers from a rare neurological condition and is slowly dying. Very slowly - day by day inch by inch.

However..............

Deep down I'm a happy little soul - happy with my lot.

I'm content.

When it all gets too much I just visit him and sit and hold his hand for a while. He can't communicate very well and I can't really cuddle him properly but we just sit side by side holding hands whilst watching some rubbish on the TV.

Sooner or later he will die.

I will have my two lovely sons and a lifetime of happy memories. It will be enough. One day I might even have grandchildren.

To all you 30 somethings who are terrified of the future fear not you are just starting out. Life is just beginning and you have years ahead of you.

I didn't meet my husband until I was 30. Prior to that I had had a fairly depressing childhood, an early failed marriage and a pretty lacklustre career. I won't bore you with my list of mistakes, errors and wrong turnings in life. I'll save all that for the memoirs:rotfl:.

I will say this - it is never too late to start over and to build a new life. Just take it slowly and steadily.

Since my husband's illness I've been broke (lucky for me I found MSE) but I've survived. There was time when I thought I would lose my home but somehow I just kept going and I'm comfortable enough. I live simply but happily.

There will always be light and shade in our lives, good times and bad.

My advice - such as it is - just soldier on through the bad times - you will be rewarded.

Patience and persistance do pay off.

FatVonD

alias*alibi wrote: »

Need to do this on a laptop really but here goes:

* mum upped and moved to the USA to marry her sisters ex-husband. I was in a relationship at the time but feeling like I had no-one ruined that relationship. 1st house walked away from with pittance. Grandparents (long term family friends really) died within a few years of that. Felt even more alone
* therefore have abandonment issues; in turn make me needy/angry/feel insecure
* neediness/anger in the past has ruined relationships, lost more houses due to separation which fuelled my insecurity even more. I was always the one to walk away with little money from the split
* met DH. Fell pregnant within 3 months; didn't find out until 10 weeks gone; by this time we had split up due to his insecurities. Got back together; went ahead with pregnancy and all fine. He had a child from a previous relationship so was paying CSA plus a mountain of debt so agreed to rent until financially we were better off
* 5 years ago moved 150 miles so he had a better paid job; still rented
* roll on to 2010 DH was bored; left me for a girl at work. Caused massive amounts of stress and misery; effed about with maintenance and made me quite ill. In the meantime unsupportive mother in the USA not particularly helpful; nearly lost the rented house because LL wanted to sell up (luckily another LL bought it); was given notice that my job was being made redundant at the same time too and in those hellish 18 months she never once came over to see me
* DH said he had made a mistake and wanted us to try again; massive clanger; the OW was pregnant. Cue massive depression. DD was playing up and going off the rails and it looked like she would need CAMHS intervention at one point
* DH close to breakdown; DD going off rails; me close to breakdown. For all our sakes I agreed to try again
*roll on one year: still renting with home ownership now way out of our grasp due to now 2 lots of CSA to pay and debt still there. I despise my job but cannot leave or drop my hours as we can't take the financial hit
* hit 40 in March just gone by; after the terrible 18 months I'd had I was expecting a really big deal to be made of it. Nope. Actually went to work on my 40th in tears because neither my DD or DH wished me a happy birthday before i left for work so it still felt nobody gave a carp. My mum sent me a measly card even though she hadn't picked up the phone to speak to me to over 3 months. I know this sounds pathetic but I was very hurt with everybody's attitude but realise my expectations were too high.

I'm also overweight due to medical reasons; although if I'm honest I'm a lazy sod too; borderline diabetic; look old and feel knackered. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I got to this stage in my life where I don't recognise myself anymore; feel invisible and just about existing life; not living it.

I feel down trodden; a failure in all aspects of my life; unlovable; unwanted and pathetic!

I'm seriously hacked off with my dysfunctional family too. Brother I no longer speak too; he's a loose cannon and has fathered 5 children by 5 different women; a mother who married her sisters ex-husband now making my cousins effectively step-sisters who despise mum for what she's done and mum prefers dogs over humans and whenever we spent our hard earned cash to visit there's always an argument and the 6 dogs run riot. It's not a normal family whatsoever. I haven't spoke to mum in 6 months; she hasn't bothered trying either. My niece had a baby in July and emailed my mum about it and sent pictures and she hasn't replied to her. I emailed a pic of my DD on her first day of junior school in her uniform as she loves her (or used too)...no response.

I see friends all getting on with their lives, being successful, happy marriages, big loving families and I'm so envious. I want some of that! But most of all I want security and that is the one thing that seems to evade me both in my home life with renting and work life; always finding jobs that get made redundant.

I try to see the positives in that I have a roof over my head; a job; food in the cupboards; bills are paid; a beautiful DD who's the best now she's back on track and a DH (although I appreciate some will say what a catch after what he's done) so why can't I see the wood for the trees? :-(

Please be kind; it's taking me since starting this thread to post this!!

But you've got through it all and you're here to tell the tale, you must be a really strong person.

I'm sorry you're feeling down about it all at the moment, I'm one of the people that posted that they're quite content with their 'lot' but there have been times when I've considered posting something not too different to what you did so hopefully the feeling for you too will pass.

Lancslass1982

I would love to be able to say that I was happy with my lot in life, but I can't. Almost three and a half years ago I split up with my then fiance, who I was head over heels in love with. I didn't see it coming and I was left completely devastated. Even though I have been with my current boyfriend for just over two years, I still am not over my ex. The feelings of rejection are still raw and my feelings towards my current boyfriend are not as strong. My ex has gone on to marry a lookalike, which is an even bigger kick in the teeth!

Sometimes I wonder whether, instead of just settling and being happy that I am with a "nice guy", I should be going out and looking for real passion and....love even? Don't get me wrong, I love my bf, but it is not the same, intense feeling.

I am also not happy with my job. I always succeeded in education, got excellent grades and a degree from a good uni. However, I really have not fulfilled my potential. This makes me incredibly sad. I'm currently not living in an area with a lot of opportunities and this is also an area of my life that I'm not happy about!

I turned 30 this year (I had dreaded it for months) and I can't help feeling disappointed with my life.

I do, however, have a fantastic mum, brother and sister-in-law and a couple of good friends, who keep me sane!!

GemmaB78

I'd say that generally I am happy with my lot.

I've a great job which I love and I work for a really fab company. I have my health. i am fit and don't scrub up too badly for an old bird. i rent a small, but cosy flat. I have a fantastic family and friends and am besotted with the most beautiful horse in the world.

The flipside is that I've just relocated 250 miles from my friends and family for the fabulous job and I miss them madly. I didn't expect to be staring 35 in the face single and childless. And I am up to my eyes in debt. But I can still see the positives. i am sorting the debt. Skype, Facebook and Facetime allows me to stay in contact with my loved ones. And as for th singledom? Seeing close friends go through the pain of divorce this year has reminded me it is far better to be alone than with the wrong person. My time WILL come, and in the meantime I am relishing the selfishness that comes with only having to answer to myself.

So all in all, I am content.

Bitsy_Beans

alias*alibi wrote: »

I do hope so. I'm just so worried I'm running out of time to see my life in a place where I'm happy.

The first change I need to make is to get fit. I need to lose weight; I need to lower my chances of diabetes and need to get more energy in order to change the other aspects of my life.

This is going to sound a cliche but don't put happiness on hold until you've done something. Don't say I will be happy when I have done x, y and z......be happy right now. Life really is too short.

As for me.....am I happy with my lot in life? I guess so, some things ain't perfect but that's life. For me it's not having what I want but wanting what I've got.

In my sig is a something someone once said to me "all be well in the end, if its not well it's not the end". Kinda sums up my attitude

poet123

I am usually happy and optimistic, I am very happily married, no money worries, have four sons I adore, and a job I love, but this week I have been really down. Feeling quite under the weather, but my main problem is that living with five Alpha Males is very wearing....they all strive to be top dog. Two of them don't get on at all which means the rest of us are torn and sometimes it is like walking on eggshells.

The end was in sight recently when one of them was part way through buying a house with the girlfriend, then they had a wobble, broke up, got back together but decided to take things slowly, so no house buying, means we are back to square one. If I am honest I don't think they will go the distance, but I have to stay silent on that one.

So, this week my thoughts have been I wish that they would all move out, but stay connected to each other. I worry that the rifts will mean that when they do move out they will never reconnect, and that once we are gone they will be strangers to each other. I worry that the one who causes most of the issues will never find happiness despite being academically and professionally admired. His personality is such that the glass is always half empty, which is alien to the rest of us, and why we don't understand him.

Probably the wine talking...but my greatest sadness is that I didn't have a daughter (in addition of course to my boys) men really are on another wavelength. Living with all these men and their egos really brings this home to me. There is a girl at work who is young enough to be my daughter and we really connect and we are so similar on every level. I so envy her mother. I know from my own experience that the mother daughter relationship can be fraught but I would so have loved to have had it.

MiddyMum

poet123 wrote: »

Probably the wine talking...but my greatest sadness is that I didn't have a daughter (in addition of course to my boys) men really are on another wavelength. Living with all these men and their egos really brings this home to me. There is a girl at work who is young enough to be my daughter and we really connect and we are so similar on every level. I so envy her mother. I know from my own experience that the mother daughter relationship can be fraught but I would so have loved to have had it.[/QUOTE]

This really touched me, and your situation (and mine) is one of the reasons why I want to set up a charity one day that can connect women who want daughters and daughters that want mothers..

getzls

alias*alibi wrote: »

Wow; that sounds incredibly sad. Surely there's another way rather than wait 10 years? Anything could happen in that time live is too short.

Only if i inherit some money, and i will some day.

Not that i'm wishing for that no matter how tough things are.

I won't try to force a sell on the house, even though there is about £45,000 equity in it because i don't want my wife and 12 year old son to live in bedsite land where we live.

In the town where i live bed site land is nicknamed murder mile.:(

Though i think my son would want to live with me.

poet123

MiddyMum wrote: »

poet123 wrote: »

Probably the wine talking...but my greatest sadness is that I didn't have a daughter (in addition of course to my boys) men really are on another wavelength. Living with all these men and their egos really brings this home to me. There is a girl at work who is young enough to be my daughter and we really connect and we are so similar on every level. I so envy her mother. I know from my own experience that the mother daughter relationship can be fraught but I would so have loved to have had it.[/QUOTE]

This really touched me, and your situation (and mine) is one of the reasons why I want to set up a charity one day that can connect women who want daughters and daughters that want mothers..

What a lovely idea....