Finally meet someone I like... and she's moving away! Advice please!

System

If its meant to be, then distance will not be an object. Go for it, and see where life takes you

I agree. Life is too short to have 'What if's'

maintenanceman

From your replies you sound genuinley excited and quite surprised that she likes you. Do you feel that maybe you are punching above your weight and therefore wasn't taking it too seriously? Now you have met her and you clicked, great. But one date?? I would suggest a celebration new job date with a sad leaving do rolled into one.Play it by ear. There is a second chapter to this reply but you don't want to hear it. there's always skype/

LannieDuck

It sounds as if she's done most of the chasing - she definitely likes you. You both get along well. What's the harm in continuing to meet up, even if all you gain out of it is a new friend? That's worth it!

And you might get something much better... as others have said, NI isn't very far really.

If you like her, you need to take a chance. And you really need to start being a bit more proactive - don't make her do it all.

OptimusNemesis

Met her for the second time today and had another really good day - we both said about how fast the time went though, 5 hours together really flew by!

I haven't told her how I feel yet - the first reason is that I wanted to see whether I still felt the same after a second meet (and I do) and the second reason is that we're meeting again on Tuesday evening. She actually texted me on Friday and said that she was going to be in the area on Tuesday (she's currently living in a village that is a little way away from where I am) and asked if I'd like to meet, so I only have a couple of days until we meet again. :-)

I didn't want to rush things by asking how she feels about me today - I really don't want to do the wrong thing and spoil it because she's lovely and I really enjoy being with her.

She did mention today about her moving and suggested that I could visit her for a holiday (which I said yes to, of course!).

I'm a bit rusty at this whole thing though (as you can probably tell). Prior to this I was in a relationship for about 7 years and I've met a few people off of dating sites but this is the first one where I actually feel like there could be more and where I've met someone more than once.

I guess my little worry is that I may be seeing what I want to see in things and that she just sees me as a friend and nothing more. I must admit I have gone back over and over things in my mind from the last couple of weekends and there are lots of things that make me think that she may possibly feel the same way about me but then I wonder if I think that because I want that to be the case.

I'm definitely going to have to ask her on Tuesday, I think. I'm just trying to think of the best way I can - I could just ask her in person but part of me thinks that it may make her uncomfortable if she doesn't feel like that about me. I don't really want to put her on the spot like that. Should I just casually ask in a text after? Or is that not a good idea either?

- G

londoner01

Awww, you're so sweet!

I think she likes you too, merely because she woldn't invite you for a holiday otherwise!

But I don't think you should ask her what she feels about you after the third date. In the circumstances she may feel like you're putting pressure on her to make a choice. Also asking her via text is a bad idea. I would see how things progress naturally. Her departure is likely to bring about some clarification eventually - and if it doesn't you can ask her something along the lines of "so what's the plan once you leave?" towards the end of her time where you are. I'm sure by then you'll have a better idea of what you want yourself.

Best advice is to follow your heart and not let the distance scare you - as others said it's relatively small.

I have a friend who was out partying for his last night in the UK (he comes from South America). He met a girl he really liked, decided to stay for another month on the basis of one night. They then were together with an ocean between them for about a year, seeing each other every few months. Now they're married!

Fire_Fox

You don't need to ask anything or tell her how you feel, there is nothing casual about that and it can seem a little stalker-ish. It's normal at this stage to show one another by enthusiastically making plans to spend time together and reading one another's body language. Seems to me she is doing all the running, try to organise/ suggest the next few meetings.

go_cat

Why don't ou just go with the flow Stop analysing every word and action, enjoy your time together as you obviously like each other. If its meant to be it will happen regardless of distance

maintenanceman

C.mon man. Does she have to print out a sign and hold it above her head? There is always a tell tale sign. One girl who was interested in me asked me if I washed my hands after going to the toilet ( weird but it showed a direct personal interest. Another girl sat by me the whole night as I was really drunk ( actually that happened on about 4 separate occasions with different girls, not on the same night ). These were not via dating sites. This was back in the day meeting and dating. My point is ther will be a tell, whether verbal or physical and from that you should know. Maybe walk alongside her but slightly in front. Put your hand out. If she grabs it... well enough said.

Seanymph

You seem to be busy protecting your feelings and wanting her to walk ahead first........... don't ask her how she feels!

You could tell her how you felt though and see what she said back.

Have you said 'I like being with you' or 'I've met other people from the site but never taken it further' or 'I'm pleased you are around Tuesday, I was really keen to see you again'.

Let her know you like her, she's telling you loud and clear she likes you - answer her, or lose her. Women like to feel wanted, cherished and pursued.

lostinrates

Seanymph wrote: »

You seem to be busy protecting your feelings and wanting her to walk ahead first........... don't ask her how she feels!

You could tell her how you felt though and see what she said back.

Have you said 'I like being with you' or 'I've met other people from the site but never taken it further' or 'I'm pleased you are around Tuesday, I was really keen to see you again'.

Let her know you like her, she's telling you loud and clear she likes you - answer her, or lose her. Women like to feel wanted, cherished and pursued.

I agree with this. Optimus, lots of us wondered how a sweet, thoughtful and bright chap like you could be single....now a flaw is clear, but you can improve it. You need to be brave, honest and open with her. Tell her you like her, tell her you don't feel like this often.

If she rejects you ( which seems unlikely from your interpretation of behaviour) then you have lost......pride. If you continue to make her do the running you risk losing her, because she will get more forthcoming attention and no reason to reject it....after all...she is not in a relationship and you are turning out to be friend but nothing else......