Finally meet someone I like... and she's moving away! Advice please!

Alias_Omega

If you dont plan on moving to Northern Ireland. The end is pretty certain. Both of you will meet someone else.

However, Short term. Keep her "on your books" (remember to wear protection as that might make things hard) until the next one comes along..

angelil

lostinrates wrote: »

My husband and i lived between milan (him) and uk (me) for a while. My sil is in ireland, her bf somewhere in mainland europe, my fil divded his time between london and his new partner in america for awhile (they are now mareied). My parents spent periods of up to six months separate and not seeing each other on a few occasions during their marriage.

Long distance has some merits, do not rule it out. NI is hardly the other side of the world...and i lnow of people who sustain relatioonships over that distance too.

How good are travel connections? Would you be prepared to travel monthly or fornightly, to see her for weekends? She might be prepared to consider jobs near you in the future, or you near her?

Tell her you are interested, but that you don't expect her to change her plans, and that if she is interested too you can work on areangements for the now, and see if there is need to rearrange for the future. If she is not interested it saves a lot of heartache and wondering....

^^ This!! Don't guilt trip her into not moving. Let her know you're interested but keep your sadness at her moving to yourself.

I must declare my bias though! I was in an international LDR (England-France) for 3.5 years. We were sometimes as much as 800km apart and gaps between visits varied from 2 weeks to 10 weeks. Eventually I moved to France (in 2008), we got engaged (2009) and then we got married (2011)...so NEVER assume that these things can't work out for the best, even if this involves your life changing in ways you hadn't expected. Just see how things go and don't worry about the distance - if you're really into each other, it'll keep

hieveryone

I was in a similar position to the girl you are talking about, except my job was a bit further away - Dubai to be exact.

After 3 or 4 dates I started to think that I should do something about this. He also started talking about making the move. Bear in mind he had more commitments here than me - mortgage etc.

Him talking about possibly moving to follow me there made me realise he was serious about this and I started looking hard for a job here.

Found one, moved to the other side of the country and the rest is history as they say....

OptimusNemesis

angelil wrote: »

^^ This!! Don't guilt trip her into not moving. Let her know you're interested but keep your sadness at her moving to yourself.

I wouldn't guilt trip her - I know how much the job she's starting would mean to her. I'd feel pretty bad if she decided not to move just because of me (I couldn't see that happening anyway as she's pretty serious about moving).

I'll just have to see what happens.

- G

Jinx

Id enjoy the next few weeks then see how it works after she's moved.

Hubby and I met online and commuted 400 miles for 2 years before he moved to be with me. 7 years later, happily married

claire16c

I met my now husband about 5 weeks before he moved 2 hours away with the army (even though wed been living in the same town for 2 years just never met). Then 4 months later he got posted to Germany and I went travelling with a friend, and went off to uni but we stayed together. Almost ten years later we have been married for over a year. And we were only 18 and 19 when we met! And my friend started dating his friend, and yes they are also now married and been together 10 years too!

So if its meant to be, you can work it out. And if its not, you will have made a friend. So you have nothing to lose.

kittypimms

Massive congrats on the new relationship

If a relationship is worth it, nothing will stand in the way. A good relationship will survive the trials of time, and as long as you are both commited, it will work.

My OH lived 4 hours drive away when we first met, but with the joys of Skype and the like, we spoke for hours every night. It never "felt" difficult - and I think that spending time chatting like that instead of the usual early-days relationship stuff that normally happens) has made our relationship stronger. I hope, anyway!

It will be difficult for her, starting a new job etc (I was in that situation last year so can empathise!), but as long as you both acknoledge this, I see no reason why it cannot and shoud not work.

Good Luck!

hazyjo

I was in London and dated a bloke in Middlesbrough. Lasted for quite a while and don't think the distance was what split us up. Dated another up near Manchester for a year - he ended up moving in (split up eventually but, again, not cos of any distance).

Also have another very good male friend in Northern Ireland. As above, it can be quicker to get there than across London sometimes! Only an hour check-in too. And cheap flights. Plan ahead. It's a great city. I love it.

Good luck. Hope things work out for you. Who knows what life may bring you or where it might send you. Let it happen, don't over-analyse. It's amazing how much you can see each other with careful holiday planning.

Jx

katie1812

I'd say go for it, what have you got to lose
Good luck!

geoffky

I did long distance for most of my working life..It can work if you try.. Look on it as when you see other its a permanent honeymoon..