Unfair or not?

1940sGal

BLUEBIE wrote: »

I can't / don't know how to post links to previous threads but if you look at the other threads started by the OP it is there.

I've just said i've looked and it's not there. She mentions the course once and states it was a financial drain. She then goes on to state that she has provided a flat for the daughter rent free. Two seperate things.

If you want to link to another post, you simply find it and click 'quote'.

BLUEBIE

Im new so please excuse me if I have posted this in the wrong place!
My daughter is on this scheme over the summer, she started last week and won't finish it until the end of September (so out of my hair for agaes). She is 16 and did not know what to do with herself when she finished school. My sister found out about it while doing research into what was being offered for school leavers like my daughter. I can't believe that it is all for free accomadation and food. Unfortunately i cannot post links as i am too new but if you tpye NCS into you search engine you should get the challenge .org up. She sounds like she is having a fantastic time and is currently at an outdoor activity centre getting to know all her new pals.

Cut and pasted as I am obv computer illiterate :-)

meer53

1940sGal wrote: »

I think you'll find that actually some teenagers do behave like this even when they come from a loving family environment. In fact i've seen plenty of teenagers who are spoilt rotten in life but who still go off the rails. A safe, loving family environment will not always guarantee that the child grows up to be perfectly well behaved. There are many factors which lead to derailment, one of which is the family, but there are many more.

Such as ? Do you have teenagers yourself ?

lazer

BLUEBIE wrote: »

I can't / don't know how to post links to previous threads but if you look at the other threads started by the OP it is there.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/55295313#Comment_55295313

here is is

1940sGal

meer53 wrote: »

Such as ? Do you have teenagers yourself ?

It's called life experience. It's from seeing friends behave like this, from seeing people i was at school with behave like this. And i'm certain there have been such stories in the press over the years.

In fact, one quick google search for 'teenagers who hate their parents' will give you lots of examples of teenagers who act like the 16 year old is no matter what happens at home.

FunWithFlags

A family holiday should be a family holiday and I'm another who thinks you are being unfair not inviting your two older children. The things their father gives them (holidays AND presents) should not be connected in any way to the things you provide. Even if they got ten holidays from him, why does that mean they have to be excluded from the holiday with the new family unit? Why on earth would you want to create more of a wedge between them and their stepfather or between them and their younger sibling?

For someone who just wishes "for a quite [sic] life", you aren't doing yourself any favours!

Tinks32

BLUEBIE wrote: »

If you look at one of the ifrst posts by the OP she states that the course in lLondon was free, accommodation, food the lot and seemed quite pleased that she wouldn't see her for such a long spell.

My DD is 13 and would be devastated, and I really mean that! This is something that would stay with her forever - so not worth it in my opinion. And believe me I have made mistakes and have tried to learn from the advice given.

Yes but the travel to and from London is not! neither is the Oyster card which she needs! Total £40 plus a week:)

Gonzo33

Op after reading all of this thread I think you are trying to make the best of a bad situation. Initially I was thinking that it was a bit of a !!!! thing to do but looking at the bigger picture I can understand why you have decided to do so.

Fwiw my husband and I have 3 children between us. Two live with us (our daughter and my son from a previous relationship) and my husbands son lives with his Mum (always has). It is very difficult to keep all of the kids happy. We do, however, ensure that the children all have the same amount spent on them for Christmas and Birthdays. We haven't managed a holiday yet due to my husbands job (we have been married 4 years) but when we do eventually go we will take all 3 children.

meer53

1940sGal wrote: »

It's called life experience. It's from seeing friends behave like this, from seeing people i was at school with behave like this. And i'm certain there have been such stories in the press over the years.

In fact, one quick google search for 'teenagers who hate their parents' will give you lots of examples of teenagers who act like the 16 year old is no matter what happens at home.

Can i assume that you don't have children ?

Gonzo33

Actually I was that 15 year old teenage girl who came from a loving supportive home who went off the rails. I ran away, was drinking and all sorts at that age. It is only in my early twenties that I calmed down.

My mother and I hated each other during my teens and early twenties because of my behaviour, and to a degree we still rub each other up the wrong way. I am just much older and much wiser now.