Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

duchy

Troubled_mum wrote: »

I have plenty of friends that keep a weather eye on their kids though technology and I can't say I have ever judged them because of it.

There's a world of difference in keeping a weather eye on children's internet activities and snooping into the facebook of an adult though.

[Deleted User]

duchy wrote: »

There's a world of difference in keeping a weather eye on children's internet activities and snooping into the facebook of an adult though.

I am not talking about just keeping an eye on Internet activity. They know their kids passwords, have administrator access etc have twitter accounts that get lost in the maze of friends the kids have. They don't post so nothing alerts the kids.

ViolaLass

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Sorry I am misinterpreting now.

Yes, I think you are probably right, I have tried to analyse why I am taking it so badly and that was pretty much the conclusion I came to.

I think it's completely understandable that you might be doing that (I imagine I would to if I were you - luckily OH's desire to join the army was short-lived). At least now you're aware of that projection, which will hopefully help.

Errata

Troubled_mum wrote: »

I am not talking about just keeping an eye on Internet activity. They know their kids passwords, have administrator access etc have twitter accounts that get lost in the maze of friends the kids have. They don't post so nothing alerts the kids.

They don't post because they don't want their kids to know that they don't trust or respect them. Very sorry state of affairs.

Macca83_2

Troubled mum i not sure i agree with some of the comments you've had, although Im sure each and every one of them was meant to show you how much more accepting society has become.
I think you're filled with fear and that's a perfectly natural reaction. You're not homophobic as such, you're scared of what life may be like for your son if he is gay. That's a reasonable reaction.
At this point i wouldn't focus on trying to get your son to give you a definition of his sexuality. He's 18. Yes he's technically a man but that doesn't mean his sexuality is set in stone. At his age i really didn't know for sure which sex did it for me and i sure as hell would have batoned down the hatches if my mother had tried to get it out of me. But, your love and support will be key. If it turns out that he is gay, then there will be challenges that he'll face that no heterosexual will ever have to. But then life is all about challenges. It will be alright.

sassyblue

fatou256 wrote: »

being gay does not mean that he will have a difficult life, far from it !

The OP doesn't know that though does she? Its natural to be concerned how others in the family or community could react because homophobia exists and if he's gay, he's a target.

Valli

sassyblue wrote: »

The OP doesn't know that though does she? Its natural to be concerned how others in the family or community could react because homophobia exists and if he's gay, he's a target.

In which case he needs the love and support of his family...

oh, wait...

kizzie_nikita

All i've got to say is i cannot believe the thread. I'm sorry but i still don't understand why you was unable to sleep/eat for 2 days and felt sick to your stomach? Are you serious?!!

Dippyduck

It was an absolute bolt out of the blue when my son 'came out' 3 years ago aged 16. I had no idea (not even fastidious showering). Since then I have never seen my son happier, he now has a lovely partner who I consider a second son. If your son is gay it is not the end of the world.

sassyblue

Valli wrote: »

In which case he needs the love and support of his family...

oh, wait...

Funny, I must have missed the post where she said she was going to kick him out and disown him.