Just found out my son is experimenting with other boys

jellyhead

Person_one wrote: »

Ever heard of white privilege? Its the same concept basically.

http://www.cs.earlham.edu/~hyrax/personal/files/student_res/straightprivilege.htm

What does 'queer' mean in this?

I can see some of those points, but some of them are simply because the majority of people are straight. If there was a large demand for gay sexuality to be represented in films, magazines etc. then I'm sure it would be. I don't see many fat people represented in magazines either, or many ethnicities.

But yes, some of those points made me think.

Personally I've been asked to defend my sexuality by gay people and told that I should try it and can't possibly know unless I've had a gay encounter, so it works both ways.

[Deleted User]

bazra wrote: »

Best advice i can offer the OP is to try and keep things in perspective now the shock has worn off & try to focus less on thier own feelings right now and more on the son's feeling, think of the inner turmoil he could be in. He's probably terrified of how his family would react.

Having said that you would be surprised how many teens 'experiment' with same sex and don't become gay.

I know this is a really long post now but if you read it you will see apart from the initial shock one of the most upsetting things is thinking about him in this turmoil and also knowing that he has also been hurting because he has suffered a rejection and not being able to talk to him about it or comfort him.

I didn't live near my mum in my twenties so when she came to visit several months after a bad breakup I got absolutely slaughtered and sobbed my heart out on her shoulder. I just needed that comfort and it was actually quite cleansing. The next day I felt so much better for letting it all out.

[Deleted User]

ViolaLass wrote: »

I have to say, I'd be more concerned about my husband being in a war zone than learning about my son being gay.

Oh please can you not see that this is probably why I am taking it so badly at the moment. Does it not occur to you that I am already having to maintain a stiff upper lip in front of my kids because of where my husband is.

ViolaLass

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Oh please can you not see that this is probably why I am taking it so badly at the moment. Does it not occur to you that I am already having to maintain a stiff upper lip in front of my kids because of where my husband is.

That was precisely my point, that perhaps you are projecting your concerns about your husband onto other areas of your life.

[Deleted User]

ViolaLass wrote: »

That was precisely my point, that perhaps you are projecting your concerns about your husband onto other areas of your life.

Sorry I am misinterpreting now.

Yes, I think you are probably right, I have tried to analyse why I am taking it so badly and that was pretty much the conclusion I came to.

mountainofdebt

Troubled_mum wrote: »

Sorry I am misinterpreting now.

Yes, I think you are probably right, I have tried to analyse why I am taking it so badly and that was pretty much the conclusion I came to.

Or pehaps there was the subconscious thought that if your son is homosexual, then the possibility of grandchildren has just flown out of the window.

I know you're worried about your OH (I don't think I would sleep personally) but if you can't be honest with your son about your worries, why expect him to be honest with you about his sexuality.

[Deleted User]

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Or pehaps there was the subconscious thought that if your son is homosexual, then the possibility of grandchildren has just flown out of the window.

I know you're worried about your OH (I don't think I would sleep personally) but if you can't be honest with your son about your worries, why expect him to be honest with you about his sexuality.

No that is not the case and there is no reason why same sex couples can't have children.

It is not about being honest with my son, it's about waiting for him to tell me in his own terms. He does not know what I did and I never want him to. I had never looked before and I will never look again.

I have plenty of friends that keep a weather eye on their kids though technology and I can't say I have ever judged them because of it.

robpw2

roy62 wrote: »

Apart from a sore bottom:rotfl:

unless he is a top or he is attracted to me but not intrestested in anal

Errata

Troubled_mum wrote: »

I have plenty of friends that keep a weather eye on their kids though technology and I can't say I have ever judged them because of it.

Lots of parents read their kids diaries on the sly. Doesn't make it right or absolve them from judgement.

robpw2

sorry not to have kept up i have been celebrating being gay at derby pride ... checking out the fitties and collecting freebies with my neice who is chuffed to bits with all the rainbow items she has gotten .. she siad it was the best pride she has been too

at age 6 she is so accepting of gay people now , although she keeps trying to set every man regardless of sexuality up with my sister .. we have to stop her from shouting he is fit and running up to ask them if they like her mummy

i think pride is a fantastic way of getting information , support and having a grea time and the more youngster we get to see it as part of the norm the easier it will be for homosexuals in the future