Husband has account on pay for sex site

suki1001

If you have joint accounts that he doesn't let you see, can you go and get a copy statement from the bank, it might give you an idea, unless he's spending it on a cc. In which case you could ring them up if it's joint and query some transactions.

Do you know where or if he keeps his bank statements.

Gra76

The fact that he's still hiding it from you suggests he's not told you the truth (still).

He's telling you a very watered down and unlikely story to get you off his back.

Alarm bells should still be going off.

If he wanted to 'look up' a famous prostitute then why not just use Google. If they're that famous the chances are they probably have their own website.

I'd be worried out of my mind. Something is not right about what he's telling you. If what he's told you is true he'll have nothing to worry about when showing you his profile...

tea_lover

The anger, defensive behaviour and deflection (ie. saying this is your fault) should all be ringing massive alarm bells for you.

peachyprice

Maureen43 wrote: »

If, like me (!!) you need hard proof, there are ways you can try and catch him out and know for sure the full story:

1) Check his internet browser history. If he has set this not to store any history, will he notice if you change the setting? This way you will know for sure what sites he is visiting. I did this and discovered my ex had been using Plenty of Fish.
2) Do you know what user names he tends to use on forums? Google his most common user names and see what other websites are brought up on the search. I did this too and found he had been on all sorts of truly awful sites.
3) Install a "keylogger" to record literally everything he types. I didn't do this.

She can't though, he has his own laptop that is fingerprint protected, which says it all really.

OP, don't let him blame you, none of this is your fault, he a bare faced liar.

Most people would use google to find out info about a celebrity !!!!!, not sign up to a find a prostitute site, that makes absolutely no sense, neither does the BS about only being on the !!!!!! site for you.

mikey72

peachyprice wrote: »

She can't though, he has his own laptop that is fingerprint protected, which says it all really.

OP, don't let him blame you, none of this is your fault, he a bare faced liar.

Most people would use google to find out info about a celebrity !!!!!, not sign up to a find a prostitute site, that makes absolutley no sense, neither does the BS about only being on the !!!!!! site for you.

All you need is his finger........

I wouldn't hang anyone for looking, but spending money?

Then, no joint accounts, all the money going to him, no idea where it's going out to, no idea of what savings you have. Fingerprinted laptop.
No idea what he's doing on it.
If it's been like that for three years, it won't get any better.

I hate to say it. it's not my idea of being married.

peachyprice

mikey72 wrote: »

All you need is his finger........

Problem is it's attached to his arm

I guess you could try the sellotape trick you see in films OP, if you can get a good clear fingerprint from a glass. It's certainly got to be worth a try, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Tropez

peachyprice wrote: »

Problem is it's attached to his arm

I guess you could try the sellotape trick you see in films OP, if you can get a good clear fingerprint from a glass. It's certainly got to be worth a try, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

If the laptop fingerprint scanner is anything like the one on mine, not only will that not work but it will also warn him the next time someone logs in that an attempt was made to access his laptop.

aileth

This brings back vague memories. My DH brought a credit card with 5k debt into the relationship from his ex-partner and expected me to help him clear it. Then I discovered £500 of the 5k debt was from adult cam websites. Needless to say, I didn't help pay it off, because god knows what the rest of the 4.5k was and he struggles when I ask!:D

catwithoutcream

Tropez, I had so hoped that him just looking, or downloading !!!!!!, was the truth. I am more shocked when he admitted he was looking for a prostitute. I've never really had issues trusting partners in the past, but there have been so many things - seemingly easily explained - that I've never felt secure.

He's slightly destroyed my trust in men. I guess I wonder why I'm not good enough for him. Why he's refused to have sex with me, saying he's not in the mood, then telling me that as a "red-blooded man" he needed to look up, look at photos & possibly contact (I will never know this, as he's refused to let me see his profile) the woman, as she "interested" him.

He's not spoken to me since last night. He's taken the day off, and is lying in bed, playing the victim, accusing me of abusing him, and now he's depressed. Whilst I'm left to look after a toddler, having not slept much, and still feeling very sick.

Tropez

catwithoutcream wrote: »

Tropez, I had so hoped that him just looking, or downloading !!!!!!, was the truth. I am more shocked when he admitted he was looking for a prostitute. I've never really had issues trusting partners in the past, but there have been so many things - seemingly easily explained - that I've never felt secure.

He's slightly destroyed my trust in men. I guess I wonder why I'm not good enough for him. Why he's refused to have sex with me, saying he's not in the mood, then telling me that as a "red-blooded man" he needed to look up, look at photos & possibly contact (I will never know this, as he's refused to let me see his profile) the woman, as she "interested" him.

He's not spoken to me since last night. He's taken the day off, and is lying in bed, playing the victim, accusing me of abusing him, and now he's depressed. Whilst I'm left to look after a toddler, having not slept much, and still feeling very sick.

I can understand how you feel.

I can see why someone might be curious enough to look up "celebrity" working girls without intending to try and meet with them but his refusal to let you see the family finances and his refusal to try to put your mind at ease are both things that don't speak well for his innocence in this situation and his suggestions that you are the one at fault are an attempt to shift the blame when he should be quite aware he is in the wrong.

His current behaviour is frankly childish.