Husband has account on pay for sex site

Lexxi

Can you create a membership without giving card details? A friends partner signed up to the contact sites and she found out. The partner had only registered to look at the site, pics, vids as he hadn't had to pay for that, the messaging side of thing and contacting people you did have to pay for. So it that case it was more innocent than it first seemed
You could do with speaking to your OH and asking about it.
I don't know what the difference is between the adult material on a dating/contact site and just googling for it

catwithoutcream

Well he's admitted it. It took a long time, whilst he got very angry with me for "snooping". I kept calm, and kept asking why he had registered, he got more & more angry, saying what he does in the house etc.

Then he admitted it - he was looking for a prostitute, but a famous one. She interested him, and he wanted to find out about her. This was when our toddler was just a few months old.

I've since begged him to show me his profile. But he just gets really angry with me, asking why he would log on to something that he's not interested in, and that I should just believe him.

I can't trust him now though. I find it bad enough that he even looked, but now that he won't show me his profile - well it makes me wonder what he is hiding... what is they say? Aah yes, never admit to more than the bare minimum you can get away with.

MarilynMonroe_2

((hugs)) the fact he's calling you paranoid and mad is ringing alarm bells with me, this is what they tend to say when they are trying to get out of something and make it seem like it's YOU at fault.

Lexxi

Surely fan pages, wikipedia, facebook etc are all ways of finding out more about 'celebrity' types. I don't understand why he would need a pay site to find out more.
Do you use the same computer?

catwithoutcream

No, we have separate laptops. His is fingerprint protected.

The person was on a talent show, and was outed as a prostitute. He said he was intrigued and did what any "red-blooded" man would do.

His anger is the thing that gets me. He spent half-hour really shouting at me, asking why I was spending time trawling on the internet, looking for a reason to hate him. I told him that I didn't (which is true), and that I was reading about another woman who discovered her DH had an account with the site, and put his in, not expecting to find him on there. He then said "exactly, what kind of man would you think I was, if you thought I was on there - what kind of man would that make me?" Which makes no sense, as he WAS on there, and didn't get how stupid he was sounding.

His refusal to show me the profile has really got to me. He's now not talking to me again. He is blaming me somehow. When he was on Xhamster, that was my fault, as he said he had to join to download !!!!!! for me, now this is my fault for finding him, when he's done nothing wrong.

surveyqueenuk

catwithoutcream wrote: »

The person was on a talent show, and was outed as a prostitute. He said he was intrigued and did what any "red-blooded" man would do.

not that foul X-Factor reject Chloe !!!!! by any chance?

surveyqueenuk

ooh didn't realise it was a naughty word. begins with M, think Goodfellas!

Lexxi

He could be embarrassed and that's where his anger has come from, he might feel that you are snooping or don't trust him? Do you think he could be messaging/meeting/paying for other women?

I only asked about the shared laptops as my friend was getting spam emails from these sites which was what started making her suspicious.

MarilynMonroe_2

Be strong and don't let him manipulate you into believeing this is in anyway your fault and that youre a snoop or anything like that. he's acting like a fool, and tbh he should be lucky you're still in the same house as him cos plenty of women would have chucked him out already.
xx

Maureen43

OP, I feel for you. What a horrible thing to find out and what an awful situation.

My feeling, for what it's worth, is that he is hiding more stuff from you. I know that is difficult for you to hear but everything you say sends alarm bells ringing with me. Getting angry with you, refusing to let you see his profile - all fairly classic signs I am afraid.

If, like me (!!) you need hard proof, there are ways you can try and catch him out and know for sure the full story:

1) Check his internet browser history. If he has set this not to store any history, will he notice if you change the setting? This way you will know for sure what sites he is visiting. I did this and discovered my ex had been using Plenty of Fish.
2) Do you know what user names he tends to use on forums? Google his most common user names and see what other websites are brought up on the search. I did this too and found he had been on all sorts of truly awful sites.
3) Install a "keylogger" to record literally everything he types. I didn't do this.

I hope you find some resolution. Please do pm me if you want to rant! Sending you much support.