Husband has account on pay for sex site

catwithoutcream

I found a few weeks ago, that my husband has an account with !!!!!!!!!!!!!. When I confronted him, he claimed that it was so he could download !!!!!! for me - apparently you have to register in order to download !!!!!!. I did find this excuse a bit hmmm, as you can look at all sorts without registering. But there was a sex dating bit, so I was worried.

Today I heard about someone finding their OH on Adultwork. I'd never heard of it, so went on it. It is a site where you pay to meet prostitutes, exchange photos etc - it is definitely a paying site.

I put my email in the forgot password form, to check that it worked, and it did as I thought - told me that I wasn't registered.

I then put my husband's email in the forgot password form, and it said they had sent a reminder to his email address.

I feel so sick, and am shaking. !!!!!! is one thing, but a site where you pay others for sex is something else.

I'm very snappy with our toddler, as I am literally shaking.

I haven't confronted him yet, but he must have realised it was me that put his address in, and is very quiet, and looks shocked.

I did find several photos of his genitals on the camera once, but he has always sworn that he took them to send me, and calls me paranoid & mad.

Before I confront him - is there any reasonable explanation? I don't want him to blame me (i.e. he went on there to get !!!!!! for me - which I don't watch btw).

I'm not interested in excuses such as he may have been curious - I am worried about being with a sleaze.

I caught him looking at an item on Ebay last week, which was women's clothing and had SCH in the item number (I didn't see the page as he had a different window open). He first denied he was looking at anything, then said that it was a photo of a woman bending over, showing her privates, that a forum had linked to, and he didn't want me to think he looked at this sort of thing a lot. But he refused to show me the photo.

FBaby

How long have you been married? Could he claim that he was a member before he met you? Of course this is highly likely to be a lie in light of the other things you've found out, but you would be back to the 'what if he was telling the truth' unless you can discover that the site was only set up at a date after you were already married.

Tropez

Adultwork isn't just escorts. There is !!!!!! you can buy on there from video and picture galleries but all of it costs money. There are also webcam performers which depending on your personal definition could be classed as paying for sex.

FWIW, if he's into women's underwear, a not uncommon and largely harmless fetish, although I can see why that would be unsettling, Adultwork does sell it as well.

There could be plenty of explanations for him using Adultwork, that don't involve looking for escorts or even webcam girls - but how many of them would be reasonable to you are another matter.

catwithoutcream

Married for 3 years. Perfectly possible that he set it up before - but he always told me he hated that sort of thing.

He's always told me that he doesn't need !!!!!! - I've never minded it. So whatever explanation how can I believe him - he's lied to me

catwithoutcream

And anyway it is OUR family money he is wasting on this s**t, even if it were only !!!!!!...

FBaby

catwithoutcream wrote: »

Married for 3 years. Perfectly possible that he set it up before - but he always told me he hated that sort of thing.

He's always told me that he doesn't need !!!!!! - I've never minded it. So whatever explanation how can I believe him - he's lied to me

Then it that case, the latest discovery is only additional information rather than anything new. You will need to tackle his need for !!!!!! rather than focussing immediately on what else he might be up to because clearly, his being registered to this site isn't proof that he is cheating on you.

NewKittenHelp

catwithoutcream wrote: »

And anyway it is OUR family money he is wasting on this s**t, even if it were only !!!!!!...

Do you not have your own money?

suited-aces

I'm not proud of this but I've registered some friends' email addresses with some quite unsavoury (but legal) sites as payback for pranks, so is it a possibility his mates are as immature as me?

suited-aces

Another thought, as soon as you see him, demand he log you on to the site and you can check the activity for yourself. That way you'll see if the account is dormant, only for !!!!!!, or actively buying sex.

catwithoutcream

FBaby wrote: »

Then it that case, the latest discovery is only additional information rather than anything new. You will need to tackle his need for !!!!!! rather than focussing immediately on what else he might be up to because clearly, his being registered to this site isn't proof that he is cheating on you.

I'm a bit confused by this. It's not additional - he claimed he did NOT need !!!!!!, so why would I tackle his need for it, he claims he doesn't use it, nor need it

Tropez

suited-aces wrote: »

Another thought, as soon as you see him, demand he log you on to the site and you can check the activity for yourself. That way you'll see if the account is dormant, only for !!!!!!, or actively buying sex.

Not really. If he was purchasing the services of an escort (and I'm not for one moment suggesting he is) there would be a high probability that there would be no record of it via Adultwork due to the number of working girls who advertise their email addresses and phone numbers on their AW profile specifically to conduct their business off AW.