Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

turn3r

whitewing wrote: »

No it isn't.

Oops got my years muddled, met 2006, married 2007, baby born 2008- obviously still have baby brain! :rotfl:

System

I must admit i met my husband and was married to him within 6 months but with hindsight, i think we ought to have waited longer. I can honestly say, although it gave him the security he needed i didnt really get to know the real him for at least 12 months.

My first marriage we got engaged 6 months into our relationship and married 12 months later which i think was just about right.

Torry_Quine

19lottie82 wrote: »

Personally I think how can someone decide they want to marry someone without sharing a house with them first? You might find that you drive each other bonkers. So surely, it would be wise to give this a try first before deciding to commit the rest of your lives to each other?

BUT OP, if you have decided that this is what you really want, then go for it! However, I’d also think you would want to be fairly sure that she will actually say “yes!”, maybe she will think it’s too soon? But if you’re confident, follow your heart – good luck!

Don't agree with you here. To many people it wouldbe wrong for them to live together without being married.

onlyroz wrote: »

I really don't get this - if you've made the decision to marry then why wait 5 years? It's like you're saying that "engagement" is some intermediate level of commitment that can be backed out of. In my view once you're engaged that means you're fully committed, and so you get married as soon as is practical.

I don't understand long engagements either but its up to the couple themself to decide. To me being engaged meant that I knew I wanted to spend my whole life with this person and wanted to be married as soon as possible.

poet123

We met in October, he proposed on New Years Eve, we had an Engagement party in February and were married the following year in August. That was 31 years ago. In the intervening period we saved for a house and moved in after the wedding. Then we put the family plans on hold for five years or so and had some great holidays.

So, I say if it feels right go for it, Empire State Building, carriage ride in Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Rainbow Room (absolutely fabulous) or if flush Tiffany's.....

ETA, the Rainbow Room has now closed apparently.

Tomby1

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I don't understand long engagements either but its up to the couple themself to decide. To me being engaged meant that I knew I wanted to spend my whole life with this person and wanted to be married as soon as possible.

Possibly because some people want to get married in a certain way e.g. in a church with a big reception - and that takes time and money to save up for.

If you know you've met the right person, then waiting shouldn't be a problem either as what does a few years make in the scheme of your whole lifetimes?

Torry_Quine

Tomby1 wrote: »

Possibly because some people want to get married in a certain way e.g. in a church with a big reception - and that takes time and money to save up for.

If you know you've met the right person, then waiting shouldn't be a problem either as what does a few years make in the scheme of your whole lifetimes?

I did say its up to the couple and it would make a difference if you're already living together. A long engagement would have meant a longer time before we lived together.

We got married after one year and bought a house but had been saving 'for a rainy day' for seven years since starting work and used some of that.

catkins

I met OH at the end of January, he proposed at the beginning of March and we got married mid June. He was 23 and I was 26. We didn't get engaged because I don't see the point of engagements and neither did we live together. Not because we didn't agree with it as both of us had live with a boyfriend/girlfriend previously.

We celebrated our 33rd anniversary this year. I won't pretend we have not had some rough times but I don't think it was anything to do with not knowing each other long before we got married, more to do with m oney problems, health problems etc. We are very happy and still very much in love. Loads of people comment how happy we seem (we always walk hand in hand when we are out and often give each other a quick kiss or hug).

bossymoo

Blueman14 wrote: »

I can also see why a longer time can be right as well. Thing is life can be too short and I do kind of agree that when you know you know. It is just the opinions of others around you, which can make it worse.

I had a friend who died at 24 this year and I am sure many other people have had cases, which proves life can be too short. This is what kind of makes me think as long as I am sure, I should go for it.

Hi
My husband proposed after 6 months and we married the following year. We then had two children quite close together. In my case it's a blessing we didn't hang around, as I lost him to cancer last year. I wouldn't change a thing about what we did (except the cancer of course).

We just "knew" too.

Having said that, don't do it just cos you are going to NY. Do it cos you want to.

Best wishes, hope it works out for you both!

lostinrates

catkins wrote: »

I met OH at the end of January, he proposed at the beginning of March and we got married mid June. He was 23 and I was 26. We didn't get engaged because I don't see the point of engagements and neither did we live together. Not because we didn't agree with it as both of us had live with a boyfriend/girlfriend previously.

We celebrated our 33rd anniversary this year. I won't pretend we have not had some rough times but I don't think it was anything to do with not knowing each other long before we got married, more to do with m oney problems, health problems etc. We are very happy and still very much in love. Loads of people comment how happy we seem (we always walk hand in hand when we are out and often give each other a quick kiss or hug).

But presumably, between march and june you were 'engaged' in that he had proposed, and you said yes and you were waiting to be married?

lazer

I don't understand long engagements either.

To me when someone proposes they are you asking you to marry them in the short term future.

Engagement is a stepping stone over the river, not an island to set up a camp on.

We got engaged in November 2011, and getting married in October 2012.

My fiance waited until we were in position to afford to have a wedding etc before asking me to marry me.

I have really enjoyed being engaged, but cannot wait to be married as that is the start of the rest of our lives together and we will be celebrating our committement to each other with our Friends and Family!

I think the situation is different for us than for many as we do not live together currently, so therefore a long engagement would have been much harder.