Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

System

I'm going to second anyone who has said live together first. Twice with exes i have lived with them, and only after living with them, realised they weren't the one (we split up a year/2 years after lviing together). It is very very different going from staying over a few times a week (hell at one point i spent all my time at my exes house) to actually living with them 24/7. I think it can be a true test of a relationship. But that's a more modern view.

I suppose in days gone by plenty of people didn't live together until they were married and it worked out well for them. So hey, it could be fine.

I'm just offering advice based on personal expeirence.

azzabazza

We met in February and married in December the same year. Just knew it was right. Now been married 41 years.

daska

Looks like I opened a can of worms there...

Just to clarify a couple of comments by other posters... Engagement used to be a contract to marriage, i.e. a legal commitment. A woman could sue for 'breach of promise' if the man reneged on that legal contract due to the potential damage to her social reputation and subsequent difficulty in finding a husband.

My view is that once you've agreed that you will get married you are engaged, end of, though I have known friends announce that they would be getting engaged on a specific date a couple of years away... totally baffling! But then I've never been one for huge weddings, to me it's the making and receiving of the commitment that's most precious part of that day.

Blueman14

bossymoo wrote: »

Hi
My husband proposed after 6 months and we married the following year. We then had two children quite close together. In my case it's a blessing we didn't hang around, as I lost him to cancer last year. I wouldn't change a thing about what we did (except the cancer of course).

We just "knew" too.

Having said that, don't do it just cos you are going to NY. Do it cos you want to.

Best wishes, hope it works out for you both!

Thank you. Sorry for your loss.

I really do want to and I suppose the fact she is special and New York is special, I thought it would be the most memorable way to do it. I agree in the way you are kind of saying life can be too short and you got to enjoy your best moments with the right people, so you didn't regret it.

onlyroz

lostinrates wrote: »

But presumably, between march and june you were 'engaged' in that he had proposed, and you said yes and you were waiting to be married?

Yes, I'm also a bit confused here. My understanding was that "engaged" means that you've agreed to marry each other. Is there some other meaning that I've missed?

poet123

Maybe the poster means that they didn't officially announce an Engagement or have a ring to signify it.

lostinrates

poet123 wrote: »

Maybe the poster means that they didn't officially announce an Engagement or have a ring to signify it.

I don't think a ring is necessary, or really a public announcment!

How peoe behave about being engaged is sluightly different! Peope can forget the world does not recolve around them if they soend fiv minutes, five months or five years planning a wedding! Just because some lose their heads and throw a pantomime around the event and precursers does not mean the rest Of us were not engaged too!

pawsies

To put a spin on this. Being a devil's advocate.

Blueman14, how are her finances? I noticed you said you were financially secure, is she?

Are you sure she's wanting to marry for love and not money?

If you can answer that then you probably do know her well enough to marry her

Sorry if that's too offensive but it did pop into my head.

loulou123

Id been with OH for 13 years before he asked me lol, but we were only 17 when we got together.

He proposed in July 2010 and we got married in Dec 2011. Personally we didn't want to get engaged until we could get married fairly soon after. We actually decided we wanted to be married within a year of the engagement (tho it took us a bit longer.)

Everyone is different though and if your happy to get engaged now and wait for the wedding that's your choice.

Living together is fairly different to spending a lot if time together though, I didn't move in with my OH till after we'd been together about 10 years as I liked my independance too much, so I already knew him very very well, but certain things about living with him still caused conflict in the early days!

Blueman14

pawsies wrote: »

To put a spin on this. Being a devil's advocate.

Blueman14, how are her finances? I noticed you said you were financially secure, is she?

Are you sure she's wanting to marry for love and not money?

If you can answer that then you probably do know her well enough to marry her

Sorry if that's too offensive but it did pop into my head.

yea I am sure it isn't case