Is 6 months to early to propose? Need an opinion

Blueman14

Sure, but we agreed we would get engaged before getting a place together or around the same time as getting a place. This will probably happen within the next 6 months and it is extremely likely we will go away again until next Summer. NYC would be so special.

Blueman14

I am keen for sure. Just like I said, conscious of other peoples views with it seeming soon.

Blueman14

angelil wrote: »

Why are you so worried about the reactions of her family, OP? Do you get on with them?

FWIW, I "knew" my husband was the one within 6 months of us being together. I remember saying to a friend at a party that if he asked me to marry him the next day I would say yes. So the feeling that it's right can certainly be very strong, very early on in a relationship, and even when you are relatively young (I was 19 at this time).

However, my view is that if you love each other that much then there shouldn't be any rush, especially if either of your situations is not ideal. When my husband and I got together, we were both still studying, and thanks to these studies we had to get through a 3.5-year international long-distance relationship.

At the end of those 3.5 years we moved in together. We were engaged 9 months later and married 18 months after that. We've now been married nearly 18 months and still all seems well...we'll have been together for 8 years this Christmas. So - don't feel the need to rush.

I'd also advocate living together before you get married.

I do get on with them, but some of the family live a distance away, so only ever see the parents. I am sure they know I am good for her, but it still wouldn't stop thinking it is soon. They have even got involved in helping us find a place, which is nice. By that I mean looking at properties and giving views etc.

She works 5-6 days a week and I work 5 days a week, but hers include weekends. So we rarely get days off together, but in time that may improve. Living together will help our situation for sure and she is quite traditional. Not totally, but I know she would like to be engaged before moving out to show the commitment is there both sides and it is for the right reasons.

Blueman14

Wilma33 wrote: »

To be honest it sounds like this is all your girlfriends idea and you are not that keen (else you wouldn't have posted). Just wait and don't let your girlfriend push you into it. Why have you got an April deadline to ask? Has she said (either directly or indirectly) that if you don't propose within a year then she will leave you?

She isn't pushing me into it.To be honest she has hinted she would say yes and rather I didn't talk to her about it as she wants it to be surprise.

Person_one

Blueman14 wrote: »

She works 5-6 days a week and I work 5 days a week, but hers include weekends. So we rarely get days off together, but in time that may improve. Living together will help our situation for sure

How much have you actually seen of each other?

This concerns me, its only been a few months and you've rarely had days off together? It sounds like you haven't spent all that much time together and moving in/getting engaged shouldn't be a way to fix that!

Blueman14

Person_one wrote: »

How much have you actually seen of each other?

This concerns me, its only been a few months and you've rarely had days off together? It sounds like you haven't spent all that much time together and moving in shouldn't be a way to fix that!

We have had 3-4 days off a month together and went on a long holiday in the Summer. We spend at least 4 evenings a week together as well.

Moving in is because we want to and it will help grow the relationship.

claire16c

Why dont you either move in together, see how it goes, and if it goes well get engaged to get married.

Or put off moving in together.

It just seems a bit odd for her to insist on being engaged before moving in but then arrange when exactly to move in together?

quintwins

There is no time scale on love, my husband never really proposed, we talked about it in great detail and it was just agreed we would get married, we talked about having a baby aswell and were trying while looking for a flat, i fell pregnant and his parents made it clear they would like us to be married before our babies were born, it wasn't a shotgun wedding as such we just brought it foward several years from what we planned.

We got married 11 months after we started going out, moved in together when we came back from honeymoon (we had a house ready it was a fresh start) 3 months later we had twin boys, 6 years down the line we have another child and are still very much in love. However we are also very aware that we were very foolish to have rushed into babies and marriage so early and that we are very lucky it worked out the way it did.

Fire_Fox

Don't get engaged until you are ready to start planning a wedding, that is the point of being engaged and often expected by families and possibly by your girlfriend. Once you are engaged it can be very difficult to withstand any pressure to set a date, it makes it sound like you are getting cold feet or you are not serious.

If you want to get engaged somewhere romantic, take a surprise weekend to New York, Paris or Venice next Spring or Autumn. This is not expensive.

Tiglath

DH moved in with me 6 months after our first date, although we both knew we'd found 'the one' after only 6 weeks. I was never bothered about getting married but he was keen so it was kind of assumed we'd do it eventually. We bought a house together 2 years later and he proposed around that time (a rather unromantic proposal in the street, which made me laugh) and married about 9 months later - that was 11 years ago. We had a very quiet small wedding, which was fine - I'd've hated a big day with a lot of fuss.